NEW YEAR

A new year....new hopes..new dreams and lots new goals...isn't that what it holds for all of us?
But somehow i believe life is not really divided that way.....a new year,though an ideal time,is not the only time to make fresh beginnings.We need to make them as and when required...and in fact when we don't then we are forced to...
Life is divided into various phases...each bringing about new people,interests and dreams in our lives.Somehow once a phase gets over,those doors close forever and we are never really able to go back..even if we want to.But we carry the best of each phase ahead with us in this journey called life...the rest the are left behind but remain in our hearts as treasured moments...'coz each phase has something new to teach us and has some beautiful memories to leave behind...
Sometimes that makes it tough to accept reality...we wonder if we will lose what we have today but we need to realise that ultimately everything becomes ok.God doesn't ever put us in a situation from which we can't get out.So we need to have faith and enjoy each phase...after all the best continues.....and the rest well...it come again in a different form in the new phase....

Some things......

Some things are just meant to be…accept them…
Stop your inner strife
Don’t battle with your life
What will be,will be
You can’t find every lock’s key
So sometimes just giggle with glee
You are capable,you are good…believe it.
You deserve a beautiful life…accept it
You deserve love…value it…
There is joy in this world….feel it.

FEAR OF JOY
Life is scary when dreams come true..
Life is scary when something is new...
Life is scary when you get more than your due...
Life is scary when happiness fills it and moments of sadness are few...
A fear uncomprehendable ...
Of losing all that seems dependable...
But in this fear there is bliss so deep and rare ...
As if even happiness is more than easy to bear...
We get so used to crying ...
Done even realize when our problems die...
Fail to see beauty of life..oh !so undying ...
But all our hopeless notions does life defy...
And emerges victorious making hearts fly ...
So soar along and let fear pass u by…

Is nacheez ke nakaamyaab haathon se kya umeed rakhen hum?
Socha tha hogen safal par vo bhi nikala ek bhram
Umeed tootne pe mile bas ghum
Par phir bhi umeed ke sang hi badte chalenge jab tak hai dum….

Do you believe in yourself?

It's easy to answer this question straight away....but wait...
believing in ourselves can be seen in two major extreme situations....
...when nothing is working right.
...when everything is ok.

Hope do you react to such situations?
When nothing is ok, do you crib and cry?What is the first thought that comes to your mind?That you are no good or that you could have done better or that you will do better.This shows attitude towards life.

But there's a second aspect to be considered...when everything is ok, rather when everything is perfect...what then?What do you feel?Surprise?Shock?Or a sense of peace that you got what you deserved?
Or consider when someone praise you..what is you reaction?Deep inside do you believe it or do you feel they are misguided?The answer to this shows your faith in yourself.This second question was the reason i realised having faith in yourself mean a great deal more than just staying up when things aren't working well.

Relations

Somethings just don't change............like some views about life....their forms may change but essentially in our hearts the believes remain the same.....like some poems which may be written long ago but are always as precious and close to the writer...

Relations

Nothing lasts forever
People in our lives come and go,
Relations fade and grow
Some as vital as breath,
Others lost in our hearts, somewhere in the depths,

Some die midway,
And leave us in pain,
Some bring joy,
But are only a pretense,
And fade away with change and time
But some grow with you,
And yet do even these last forever?
I wonder . . .

Every relation can be divided into different stages,
A great beginning,
So beautiful that life seems perfect . . . as if nothing can go wrong
Life seems dreamlike
A middle, like the calm before a storm,
And them suddenly one day
The dream breaks,
The heart shatters at its very core.
And out comes a stream of pain,
A pain so great that to kill,
To see such a beautiful relation chill.
People once so close suddenly seem heartless

It is at that time when strength of every relation is at its’ test,
Can we ignore faults and look for qualities that are their best?
Can we take cruel words of a loved one as a jest?
Do we fight and just rest?
Or do we try to sort out the mess?
Be willing to give more, never less,

For only those survive the time and its strains
Where trust and not doubt reigns
Which were sublime,
In which for both but the other is of importance prime.
Little gestures decide the life or death of a relation,
Give in sometimes, even if you are right,
Forget your ego and might,
Sometimes, let the heart rule over the brains.
For even a pearl is made out of tiny grains.

Life goes on

A poem which seesm to describe all that life represents to me.



Life goes on…
Grief comes, shocks and passes by…
We stand stunned, cry…
Then slowly move on, waiting for the aftershocks to be felt,
Taking all blows life may at us pelt,
At the same time take life as it has been dealt,
Nothing lasts forever yet life goes on,

People in our lives may leave
But life continues as if untouched,
Even if we feel as if fighting death each day….
Why meet at all some may ask,
But noone would have it any other way,
We treasure memories,
Long after losing the person….
To death or to life itself.

Sometimes it feels we wont make it after so much pain,
But life shocks again,
A new phase comes,
Old gives way to new,
Just when we have given up hope as if on cue,
In this new phase we don’t lose the old one
It keeps coming back like a friend to show us the way.
The person maybe faraway,
But the lessons, the memories stay,
We can’t go back
But we can watch that time like a play,
The characters that were once life now from our lives are astray
They may be near but we can’t reach them in anyway.

We look into the mirror of the past:
And see another stranger…ourselves.
How many lives do we live in this one big journey,
Where change seems the only thing constant?

Life keeps rushing along,
Ultimately pulling us with its flow.
Even if we want to wait for someone,
Someone we seem to have got used to,
To enjoy the journey with,
Only to be dashed to the rocks of hurt again.
Then another helping hand in pain,
The hands keep changing
But the pain, the recovery remains the same.
Are we heartless of is just life queer?
Do we change or do circumstances around us in this way steer?

WAYS OF LIVING

THere are so many ways of living life..i found three major ones........yet i couldn't understand which is right...all are right in their own aspect.......all are so different yet they lead to a common destination.

Some people are workaholics...for thm the aim of life is their work.It's their passion.It's their life.Sometimes for it, they ignore everything else.Sometimes they even seem callous because of it , people call them too competitive ,too selfish but then i relaised they also have role to play in life......through their.if they are sincre in it then the efforts last much longer than their lives and help people even if they themselves don't.

Another kind is those who are philantropic.......those who give themselves selflessly......who just strive to help others in some or the other way.But they have no personal life and no productivity that is tangible.Some may call them fools ,some may call them crazy and escapists but they do what they find right.
Yet another kind is those people who concentrate only on enjoying life and being with loved ones.People may say there is no greater purpose to life but that purpose also in itself is great.They makes lives of people ,even only few people realy wonderful.So they also contribute.

Now the confusion.......What should we ultimately aim at...work?But that makes us materialistic at times and withdrawn from life at other times.

Relations?But they dont' last ......the most any relation can last is a lifetime.After that we don't know what happens..we lose everyone close to us someday...it's harsh but the truth.Do we ever see them again or not are questions can ponder upon but never know for certanity.

Social service?It seems the best but then not everyone is meant for it...as in to make it the only purpose of life....some people need tangible results to work....peolpe need relations also to sustain themselves.Its not that easy to be that selfless....very few are...and not all are meant to be...

Onething i realised that is constant or needs to be constant in this world......to learn.If from every experience....in any of these 3 ways of livning or some other ways,we learn something, then we are sucessful....but what is required is share those lessons.Knowledge is not mean to be stored, its mean to be spread.In life we need to grow constantly...from ours or our peoples' good or bad experiences.And help others also grow.

MY MUSES

Sometimes textbooks teach you so much more than just theory and facts.......for example statement that seems like a treasure that i recently read.......
"It requires mental toughness to endure inner pain.We need to plan for the best, be prepared for the worst ,expect surprises but continue to move forward anyway."
One statement but so much depth........and what's surpirsing...the source is an Engineering textbook!!!

Take the part of expecting surprises....ulitmately nothing lasts forever yet life goes on....nothing is constant in life..neither is it meant to be.And we know it but aren't willing to accept it.We know we change constantly.We know people around us change constantly.Yet we fear it.

If our expectations are fulfilled ,we fear that in future when they aren't then we will be so disappointed...and if they aren.t then also we are upset.
We need to stop struggling against life so much....what will be,will be.In today's world there so much inner strife,so many complexities that we forget the meaning of life in it.We arent'n touch with ourselves.The simpler, the better.........less we analyse anything the easier it gets.We tend to make simple situations complex.And forget the simple joys of life....
The past is over..it won't come back..good or bad.And it's ok, either way we learned something from it.The future is not something we control by thinking about it...if something has to happen, it will happen anyway.There is no need to expect anything in life....and that doesn't mean that we stop hoping.....hope is the belief that something good will happen or that things will improve.Whereas expections are the result of something we do .........what we expect as a result of actions.Yes we do get results but they may seem random.Life is a mirror but a distorted one...it reflects all that we give to it but in various forms.We may give kindness and may get hurt from that person in return but that doesn't mean life is unfair.It just means God didnt' choose that particular person to be the source of kindness in our lives.It doesn't make them bad either.


It's all around us...this strange kind of negativity.........2 lines i have heard so many times in life but can never undestand why they should be said
"All good things must come to an end.."...........Well all bad things also come to an end so why point out only about good things?
Another one
"Somethings are too good to be true"

Why this statement?????????
NOTHING is ever too good to be true unless we make it.
People keep saying that they aren't worth it or they dont' deserve what they want but that's never really true..........there nothing that we cant' achieve if we try and if its' achievable and we get it then we obviously deserve it.
Same way...people say they dont' deserve to be loved ,well for that i have answer
"When you are treasured and valued,it doesn't make the people who value you great.......don't be in awe of them...,it doesn't make you great........dont' be too proud....it just makes life great.....love it and accept it.

ae dil zara sambhal,
apne armaanon ko yun naa tu kuchal,

kahin door jo manjil hai use na khona tu,
apni rah mein khud hi kaante no bona tu,
aage jaana hai abhi,yun naa sona tu,
choti-choti haaron pe yun naa rona tu,

zindagi naam hai sabr ka,
isse ek pal mein yun naa chodna tu,

pachtaye baadmein aesa kuch naa karna tu,
umeed thame rakh,tootne se yun naa darna tu,
dosron ka sahra to bana hai,par khudki aakhen yun naa bharna tu,
zindagi ka kuch waqt hai tere pass,usmein pal pal yun na marna tu.

To thine own self be true

Somethings i realised recently and some which i re-discovered .......this time some answers instead of questions........

• It's ok to make mistakes or rather everyone has the right to make mistakes.This is a small sentence but it weighs a lot....it can change everything about life.

• It's ok if you dont' always excel or even fail at times...it doesn't make you anything but human.

• It's ok to be angry....there is nothing wrong if you get angry at friends either.It's ok even to overreact at times....

• It's not just ok but its required to assert yourself at times....to say "no", to say so when you have a problem with something....

• It's ok disagree with friends......disagreeing doesn't mean misunderstanding.It just gives you your own individuality.

• It's ok if there are others who don't like you.Not everyone is expected to.It's ok if you dislike people also.....but disliek shouldn't turn to hatred.

• It's ok if you aren't at completely ease in the presence of everyone...as long as you are your trueself always.....we all have different comfort levels and we need to learn that just because there are people who aren't in our comfort level ,it doesn't mean that something is wrong with us.Neither should it mean that we start disliking them.Just accept them and accept ourself...just this knowledge will make it easier to be around them when required.

• It's ok to feel whatever you no matter how stupid it seems as long as you acknowledge it.Ultimately we are all responsible to ourselves so onething that is essential is to know yourself and requires being honest to yourself...and it's not difficult but it requires courage .And once we are honest to ourselves...everything is easier...to open up to others is also much easier...

• It's not required to always judge yourself .......sometimes acceptance is also required........there is no need to change unless you feel your present situation is affecting you or someone else adversely.Everyone has their own pecularities.....love yourself for them.....

• It's ok to be "weird" at times!

• There is nothing wrong in pointing out your strengths or being praised ........many people can find faults in themselves,can take criticism but not praise(of course not to be mistaken with flattery)...its important to be humble but its equally important to believe in your good qualities.

• Don't regret anything....eg:if you take time out to enjoy yourself......don't feel guilty about later on.......live each moment fully....you owe it yourself....we can only truly help others when we are at peace with ourselves.

A saying I read many times but am still trying to implement..."Don't give explanations to anyone......your friends don't need them and others won't believe you anyway".
It's difficult to practise this if you dont; do it instinctively ....to me it means being secure in the presence of others and truly accepting yourself as a worthwhile and important being...it would be surprising to know how few people actually believe that truly from within....and it has nothing to do with outer confidence.....

Our actions shouldn't depend on our prediction of other peoples' reaction to it.

What to strive for?

A few more questions that made me ponder recently...
Should happiness be the end result or the means?I mean suppose we aren't successful ...in some aspect...in work maybe...do we still deserve to be happy?Is happiness something we should earn or strive for?Is it ok to be happy even if you aren't successful?Or is being happy being succesful?Somehow i don't agree...we maybe happy and yet unproductive..so that isn't successful.

Of course another aspect to be considered is that we are only truly happy..in the long run when every aspect of life is right.But that doesn't usually happen and after a while we learn to accept thing as they are and still smile.Is that laziness or is that positive attitude?All i know is that it's much easier to be happy than and that we only truly give our best when we at peace with ourselves

A confession

For a long time now i have been pondering over this and finally i had to write..even with all papers overhead...

Actually i seem to have realised that with time, sometimes we deterioate.I confess, with time my nature seemed to have gradually degraded.From a child, to a teenager to adulthood ,from nursery to schooltimes to college to working people, we all do change.Somewhere along the way, many times we lose our innocent ideals...not purposely...but maybe with blows we weaken or maybe we just become a bit cynical.It happens, in different ways with everyone...In some ways it happened with me also.
But as the saying goes"better late than never" and its never to late to change.
I have realised these changes before too late and for i am grateful to God.As a kid ,there are many things we learn"say no to poly bags,firecrackers,save water" and what not....and some of us actually follow them.But when u come across a society where everyone flows in the opposite direction ,it is easy to be mislead...the challenge is not to allow yourself.

As kid, we also learn many other values..one in particular..selflessness or.. as a motto i remember"service before self".Its easy to start off with but with time when all we see around us is selfish people..people who push others to move ahead in the race of life....we do wonder how much worth these values are.Some lose them totally and become hardhearted..others follow them but not with the same devotion as earlier...afraid of blows...and even then they are called foolish.
I thought these were the only 2 categories of people possible...those who don't follow those principles and those who follow but with tint of practical edge or maybe a tint of fear ....as its said"once bitten ,twice shy".The latter do want to work towards the ideals but doubts creep in regarding the success ...like a drop in the ocean....i mean we wonder,"are our actions even worth anything?will they help at all even if we give all?"

But i realise very well now that all these are just forms of weakness of character...a tainted form of self pity ,self indulgence and self doubt.
And confess being part part of this latter group to some extent.

But as life moved on i came across people who followed"my ideals" better than me...who strived on in spite of everything...at first it irritated me , made me feel uncomfortable..till i realised what i was feeling was guilt...guilt of neglect of duty...

There numerous examples which made me learn..from the simple incident of friends arguing about not polluting,conserving electricity or when i saw people thinking about others at a time when i thought of myself...or just in general being more considerate than expected...about people and about the environment.These were strong people..who held onto their ideals in all circumstances.There were others ,who followed and got blows and afterwards felt cynical ..those i could understand.But to know that what you are doing is right and then not to allow anykind blow to affect you requires courage.I learnt a lot from all these instances...enough to grab hold of my ideals again......

i may have left midway but to truly realise a mistake is to correct it.And unintentionally done no mistakes reflect badness...at least i hope...


a prayer that i remember to make this clear

"Make me a channel of peace
Oh master grant that i may never seek
So much to consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love with all my soul"


and another

"amazing grace!how sweet the sound..
that saved a wretch like me...
i once was lost but now am found
was once blind but now i see

towards grace that taught my heart to fear
and grace my fears relieved
how precious did that grace appear the hour i first believed"

To be or not to be..........

A few questions....what's better to trust and to be fooled or not to trust at all?
Whats better, to allow people to take advantage of you sometimes(because they will) or to be so careful that you are never hurt but that's just because you never allow yourself to feel anything?
Why should you have to make yourself horrible just because some others can't be good?
But else is possible?
People blame you for being fooled..never those cunning others.
There is no moderate situation which we keep seeking in life...either we remain completely pure and face the consequences in the name goodness
o
r
we give a blow for blow and destroy our soul in the process of defending ourselves.
There is no such thing as "partially trusting people"

The problem with former is that it doesn't allow us to be happy or at peace with ourselves in spite of the fact the we right.We wonder why we suffer having done no wrong.Life seems unfair.

And the problem with latter is that we are never happy primarily because we know in our hearts that what we are doing is wrong.To hold feeling against someone is almost worse than actaully doing them wrong... its like attacking from behind.
To trust completely and then have it broken is heartbreakingly tough,but to never fully trust out of this fear is equally distrauting.

The "feel good " factor

"The worst quite never happens...no matter what.
Ultimately there is some good in everything"

This is what is resounding in my mind these days.And it reinforces my belief in GOD.Every situation,no matter how hopeless it might seem,does improve eventually.I meaan, life seems so strange when moment we cry as broken forever and the next moment something happens and life is ok again.And its not always that something big happens, often its the small pleasures of life which make it so lovely and magical.
The small pleasures of being able to laugh your heart out, of being understood, of being successful(even if in just completing a day's schedule)...anything.sometimes hope comes in the least expected way,but we just know in our heart that now life will stabilise again...when there is total darkness, even a ray of light is enough to give us hope...and that ray always comes,we just need to wait long enough with faith...
"so when you want to give up, hold on just a little longer"
Afterall difficulties area part and parcel of life.Without them,we wouldn't be able to realise the value of pleasure.Pain not only makes us stronger but also helps us grow from within.We become more aware othes' feelings and situations only if we have gone through some tough situation.And in those hardest moments also do we realise the value of lovedones who are there to depend upon when most needed...it gives a sense of security and peace.And to be able to lift someone from that strom is better still.So next time you feel helpless, help someone else...and you will end up helping yourself!We need people around us.No man can be an island.We all need to be reassured sometimes,cared and cherished and valued ...It's a basic need,which if acknowledged would solve most of out confusions.Its ok to seekout wellwishers around you and ask for support when feeling weak instead of isolating yourself and brooding.And be willing to do the same for others whenevr you have the opportunity.The soul also needs to be fed sometimes.And it feeds on that"feel good"factor that comes when we are carefreely happy and relaxed and makes the heart cry out
"LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!"

You busy or what???

People keep saying "hey i am so busy ....i never had the time.......life is so hectic that.....blah blah blah"
Yes these days we never seem to have time do we?
For what don't we have time?
Oh we find time to watch our favourite shows but not enough time to chat to a friend.We find time to day dream but not pursue hobbies that fullfill our dreams.We find time to stay on the"net" but no time to sleep.

Ever wondered why???


Who makes our lives so hectic? Noone but ourselves.We try to hide ourselves behind defences of "being busy" instead of confronting to the fact that life "sucks".We find it much easier to stay busy rather than untangle the web of ur life.We just don't bother to care enough even for ourselves.So what to bother about others?i mean think about the last time you took time to appreciate Sunlight,rain ,sunsets,birds ......?


Whats the use of it then?ultimately we won't carry even our work with us but will carry the lessons.Ans learining is what we remember after we have for gotten.So stop trying to cram up life.To learn we must forget little worries first ............
Take to time live and learn...without being afraid of mistakes.

We all take time out to do things we enjoy but we just need to spend a few quite moments and realise what that really is.

And no I didn't write this to preach.I am a self-confessed busy person....almost out of home 12hrs a day.Studying later.Not having enough time for even friends till recently...not sleeping enough...snapping at everyone...

But I am happy now.Because I realised the value of little moments of life.......when this friday i tok time to appreciate the rain....when i just sat down with a novel the night before an exam...or when i keep orkutting....when i watch TV with my parents....go to McD's with friends.....


.........so basically whenever the pressures too much, i just let it fizz off and relax!And voilla!i am a new person all over again!Some may call it wasting of time.But what the heck!Its MY life and i am gonna enjoy it my way!

Loneliness

Sometimes so lonely at heart
When with loved ones we part
They move so far apart
It gets difficult to make a fresh start

Each tree I lean on breaks
And with it heart shatters and shakes
My soul trembles and quakes
When all around high are the stakes
A tiny blow is all it takes
To make life seem full of only fakes

Some Random Thoughts

Friendship is not about judgement but about acceptance.
If you someone to change according to your wishes then you don't truly consider them your friend.In friendship one needs to value the others' opinion.

The greatest need of everyone is to be needed.

The one thing that gets us into the worst kind of fix is "desire".When we desire something and we dont get it, we feel miserable.We keep chasing after it till we achieve .....to get our desires satiated.....but that never really happens.......
for a little while we feel calm but after that again our mind is in a turmoil.We look for something else to chase.That's the problem.....coz if desires are fulfilled they just lead to more desires.......its neverending process.And crazy too 'cause true happiness comes from within as i recently heard someone say.External factors can only influence it toa slight extent.

Invest in deals, invest in business
But never invest in relations
‘cause relations aren’t based on returns
they are based on giving and giving alone

Somtimes even pain is required...think about that when sad..sometimes it decreases the confusion of life even if it increases the complexity.........

Yeh bereham log na hote to yeh sitam na hote
Itne sitam na hote to yeh ghum na hote
Par ghum na hote to tere murhum bhi na hote
Woh naah hote to shayad hum naa hote