Midlife Crisis

Recently I felt kind of goalless, in every direction and a bit empty. I realized I looked for happiness within those close to me and those aspects where we intersected but not in myself. After a bit of analysis, I realized that these were symptoms of mid-life crisis. 

The old goals stopped making sense and looking there did not lead to happiness. I needed to look for new reasons to find my bliss. It wasn't about major changes but about taking care of myself in everyday life. Sometimes grief of losing a family member affects even more with time. It grows heavier when you realize you need to keep carrying forever. So one needs to unload, take a break and redistribute it so that it is bearable. This redistribution requires one to look for new reasons to smile. Some of us may start a new book, a new series, a new hobby, walks, visiting new places, talking to old friends.  Or just curl up in your shell till you realize what you need. Changing an aspect of routine. Changing your style. Slowly redefining yourself. It is different for everyone. It may not happen at once. Each one of us will have our own pace as we move beyond it to the next phase.