Monday, July 26, 2021

Parents and parenting

"All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;"

If the world is a stage and we the actors, then parents are the audience. They are the stars around which we revolve. We perform for them and do so by sharing our daily lives, our joys and grieviences with them. 

This starts right at childhood even before we start to speak.  The infants cry out their needs. And it is vice versa. For parents, the new role they get is irreversible and changes their being. They start seeing everything in life from the perspective of how it will affect their children first and foremost. From global warming to covid to a random television advertisement which suddenly tears them up. They begin to empathesize with other parents, including theirs own.

And for children, parents validate their lives, the little-little incidents of their lives become manifolds more important to their parents. The shared joy and sadness makes it real. The advice is taken by children as a gift, as optional, oft taken for granted, with the expectation that it will always be there, whether they follow or not. 

Sometimes they tug for more freedom. And sometimes they reach back. They touch base and hold onto reality check. Celebrating together adds that extra zing. And that's what diminishes when we lose a parent. The teether breaks. And we fall and are lost. The validation, the zing, the audience is gone when suddenly one realizes that one is performing without an audience. And then they realize that the stage is set for someone else. That though, they are performers, they are also audience. And the story of life continues as it has for eons.