Saturday, October 29, 2011

Switch off

There so many situations in life on which we have no control at this stage, changes waiting to happen, life resisting them and it is human tendency to have the self "what if..." discussion.

"What if when I look for a job, there is recession again?"
"What if after I get married and have kids, they hate me because I am too busy for them?"
"What if I get pimples by this chocolate?"
"What if I smile at that guy person whom I know remotely and he doesn't?"
"What if I meet my boss about a doubt and he cancels my leave?"
"What if I buy this color and regret it because the other may look better if in the future I get some other accessories?"
"What if my plane is hijacked?"
"What if I enter the contest, win a prize, and fall flat when going to collect it on stage? "

And no this is not all me, I am just trying to cover the different possibilities.

So what!! 90% of these will probably never happen/not affect us for long if they do/ will happen when we are in a position to handle them.  And  in 99% of the cases, we can do nothing in the present to prevent anything, or actually DO nothing to prevent it. So the only action towards prevention is inaction. But Life can't stop due to fear. So inaction is out the question. Hence the need to switch off. Delay. Especially if it's a long term worry. You will still have time to worry about it in the future but you won't have this present moment back to live then. Take some worry-free time periodically. And throw out some worries periodically. Put them in the "to be handled later" tasklist.

"Life is what happens to us while we are busy making plans."

So lets take time to experience it.

So now I better get back to planning my tasklist!:D

Friday, October 21, 2011

The wait

It's been over a month but the procrastination hasn't ended in many ways. There are times, when we know we are at the end of another chapter of life, at the corner of the road, with or without knowing which way it leads. And it makes us want to wait. Makes us just want to get started on it NOW. Just to know how it is.  It's like when you are a few hours/a day before exams. The preparation may or may not be complete but you are waiting for them to get over. What happens then if suddenly you are told that it has been postponed indefinitely? Or that it may well be a surprise quiz instead of an exam? Unless you are grossly unprepared, you will not like this announcement. You will hate the burden and you will hate the surprise element. The freedom from exams will there and yet not enjoyable because you know it is lurking there somewhere.

And so the procrastination just continues. It may be in the form of  having more experiences, more time for oneself or trying something new.  And that may be good. To have the time to just be.To be able explore your potential, to able to widen your horizons, to be able to get to know yourself better for a change, or even make a few changes. And to keep doing something new means that the spark of excitement burns cheerily in life. But it doesn't change the underlying wait. The need for peace and stability. The need to just know.
And yet, once we do know, all we would want would be to have the excitement back!
It's a vicious circle. What do we humans really want in life, I wonder.

Monday, September 12, 2011

A new start

With this new blog theme, emerges a new hope for a new better, start.
Procrastination has reached highest levels when you ....
  • spend more time on your template than actually writing 
  • read away old novels not as a break but as the main activity of the day
  • when you get stuck but don't think of a way out, but take a break instead
  • when you get tired of those supposedly "refreshing" break
  • when despite all that, on Sunday night , you start waiting for the next weekend
Of course this list can go on and on....
But that would just increase the procrastination. Sometimes writing helps you get out of that. So lets start with a few random food for thought and see it progresses in the next few posts. These are some quotes from recent readings..newspapers, internet, novels...(sorry too many sources to mention!)....
1. It's not a miracle if it doesn't happen when you least expect it. 
2. Sometimes, even when you know something's a mistake, you have to make it.
3. Follow your bliss, don't be afraid and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be.
4. Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent
5. Sometimes, you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too, even when you are in the the dark, even when you are falling
6. It you allow yourself to dissolve for others, you will be transformed
7. Boredom, fear and anger are the reasons a gull's life is so short and with these gone from his life, he lived a long fine life.
8. My best friend is one who brings out the best in me
9. Too late we learn that a man must hold his friends unjudged, accepted and trusted to the end.
10. Good friends must not always be together, it's the feeling of oneness when distant that proves a lasting friendship
11. You can always tell a real friend when you've made a fool of yourself and he doesn't feel that you've done a permanent job!

12. Freedom is the very criterion that tests whether love is real or not. If love destroys freedom, it is not worthwhile.
13. Him that I love, I wish to set free, even from me.
14. If equal love there cannot be, let the more loving one be me!

15. I believe love and life can't be explained through logic and reason. They just can't. What the heart desires has no reason behind it. At least often not one that can be expressed in words

16. The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the others good qualities.

17. Don't be so busy capturing the moment that you forget to live it.
18. Great opportunities to help other seldom come but small ones surround us daily

19. Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you
20. Key to not getting bored is doing things as differently as possible
21. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up!

22. Dance for yourself. If someone understands, good. If not, go on doing what you love.
23. The difference between "ordinary" and "extraordinary " is just a little extra

24. The reason why great artists to scientists will work day and night neglecting to eat or sleep is because they are driven by a vision, something just beyond their reach that will not let them rest until they have brought it into reality
25. The secret to a rich life is to have more beginning than endings

Sunday, September 04, 2011

As a child I used to cry when someone close left while they would go away sometimes laughing, sometimes with a sympathetic look which felt far worse. Nothing has changed in all these years.  I don't know why. Maybe life is supposed to desensitize you as you grow and when that doesn't happen you get left behind and are kept wondering.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

People in our lives

Some changes just creep into you. Others, you just notice much later. 

As browsed through my phonebook today, I realised just how much life has changed. There were of course some random people whom I couldn't place at all. But there were others. There people who had been sort of good friends once at a time and I suddenly realised that years had passed since we talked. There were people, who had once been pretty good friends, what with all their home numbers, parents number stored away so meticulously. In some cases physical distance changed relational distance also. And maybe at some level it was expected. There are people with whom you share  great time but somehow you know it wouldn't last outside the given environment. It can make you feel nostalgic but it won't hurt much.

But there were people with whom friendship itself changed. Our opinions about each other changed. Values changed. And suddenly in our respective new lives, there was no space for the other. Happens. But didn't know it could.  And each time you wonder about the whys and hows.

I felt strange as I deleted all those contacts, knowing my heart already had, years ago in many cases. Yet I felt at a loss knowing I was closing doors.  Even if they had already been shut.

Sure, I may hear about these through friends, social network sites etc but that doesn't even make them  "contacts".

And then I browsed the remaining contacts, ignoring "work related" ones. I found those who had grown active after my previous such perusal, knowing that they were the ones to hold onto, even with the distance. These numbers may not have been used that often but it was reassuring to know that good memories are created whenever they are.

There were those who are still uncategorised and haven't stood the test of time yet.

There were those whose numbers need hardly be stored because they are embedded permanently. And those whose numbers may not be used for months simply because of the distance but there are still embedded out there.

And then there are, the lifelines....

Reminds of the concept of reason, season and  lifetime.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Life, a cake.

If life is a cake, then work is just one piece of it. All the time.
So that makes...."work, a piece of cake!"

Ok ok, I won't try my hand at comedy now:)

But it IS only one piece. Each aspect is . Expect love maybe which makes the cream, character which makes the crust and the excitement which makes the icing. Materialistic Success/Fame is just a cherry on top.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

The sisterhood of travelling pants

This has been  a wonderful feel-good series about friendship, love, families, life and how they all come together. Feels magical. Written in a playful manner yet as you brush it's surface , you realise it's deep enough for you to be touched, to learn about life.

I won't add much more except this one quote which I loved in the 3rd book. It is sprinkled with this and many more:
".....This was the future. Life would get busier and more varied, populated both by beautiful things and unfortunate circumstances. If their friendship demanded exclusivity or solitude, it couldn't work. If it required that everything go as planned, it would turn brittle, and ultimately it would break. On the other hand, she knew that if they could be flexible and big, if they could encompass change, then they could make it....... "

This is true for every relationship nowadays. and that's good but also kind of sad, even if  illogically so. 


It's been a while since I wrote. I don't know what's happening , whether it's just me or in the air. But it's like I am sleepwalking, or rather sleep living. Just living each day, taking it easy. Not in a rush but also not pausing long enough to actually experience, reflect or even think about much. As if bidding my time. Waiting . But don't know for what. Maybe it's laziness. Maybe it's all the activity (not necessarily work). Maybe it's the in-between phase, when you know change is gonna happen but you can't see it yet.

It is said that you can't remember what you don't give your brain the time to process in the first place. Maybe that's it. The brain doesn't process life right now. So it's tough to remember what happened a few days ago. What I was busy with.

A kind of numbness sets in. You get used to everything with time, true.But I think I have got used to change these days. People come and go and it's normal. Routines change. Situations change. People get busy. I myself get busy. Yet it's normal. It doesn't affect as much. Life just keeps on moving.

Some might say it is good. Good to be stable. Good to be on the plain road. But I miss the rollercoaster.

I have got trapped into a lake. Scenic though it might be but I miss the powerful sea with it's bubbling waves. They may crash but they also take you high up, for a great ride. And it's worth it.

Maybe the only thing to do is write. Maybe this is what happens when you suddenly don't pen down stuff. It gets lost. Maybe to really experience things, you need to share them with yourself and writing helps in that. 

Monday, April 04, 2011

The cup that counts goes to the team that counts:)

Well it certainly turned out to be just that -a cup that counts and will probably count forever now! The above pic says it all for us Indians. Winning of the world cup was like a festival which all celebrated together irrespective  caste/religion/region/gender  or whatever else that divides us otherwise.  It brought a strange frenzy amongst all us, we (most of all) missed schools/office if working, to watch India's games. We applied our own superstitions probably to make the team win from wearing tricolors/blue to repeating some action that seemed to "favour" the team at that instant, be it a specific channel, position etc. We waited with baited breath till the final six . And after the win, we called all over called and congratulated each other, probably as delighted as the team for that instant of time.

Well it's been a special time! And this cup's been very special. In more ways than the win. The team grew this time. The gen Y team. They learnt to handle pressure, they learnt to adapt to situations, be it a different pitch, injuries or toss. In the first game itself, against Bangladesh, our team achieved glory through Sehwag. They started the streak of high targets which seemed to ripple throughout the tournament.  The game against England may have made some doubt the team but than it WAS a draw. So no one can say it wasn't close! And it encouraged teams like Ireland work hard enough to be of some reckoning, as acknowledged by their captain. The other wins may have been easy. And yes, we did lose to SA. But nothing disheartened this team! They came kicking back in the Windies game. Of course there were many sceptics who wanted the team to lose that match simply so that they won't have to face Australia but that was certainly not what the team had in mind as they cruised to victory! Beating the previous champions, the team moved ahead to the match of times. India-Pak. I don't think any of us fans missed that one!  Till then, all probably secretly hoped for an Indian win but didn't know what to expect what with one tough match after another.  And suddenly, there it was - the cup of all cups, just one step away! Yes, India had been in finals earlier, but this was a different team altogether. A younger, more passionate team. Yet a carefree one. One which could show aggression, but also one which could share light moments. There was no blame game, at least on field. A team which worked as a single unit instead of being Sachin-dependent. A team which supported Sreesanth when he couldn't bowl well, a team which may not be the fittest but leaped all around the place to save runs all the same. A team not only of pomp and show through Viru but also stability and perseverance through Gambhir, Raina and Kohli.  A bowling unit which no only got wickets but which was also economical like Zaheer, Harbhajan and Munav. A team which produced all-rounders like Yuvraj. A team where people were given a chance based on the match in hand and not based on the big names.  A team where the captain remained low-profile and non-aggressive and yet took responsibility on his shoulders when the situation needed it. A team which deserves every moment of this victory!

And yet, to me and numerous other fans, this world cup was not just about the team but about this man who may not play next. The little gentleman, whose names' refrains can still be heard if we try to recall the crowd in any of the matches. ...Sachin Sachin, Sachin Sachin, Sachin Sachin.........

The player who has the grace to walk away without waiting for signal. The player who would come to calm the crowd when unfairly given out. The stylish player. The small but powerful player  who made cricket come alive for me and millions of others. The player who not only gave his best always but also went out of his way to encourage his fellow players to do well. The player who waited 28 years for this day.  The final joy, well doesn't this image say it all?  And of course the player who still has landmarks to reach which make us almost as excited as any cup...And the player whom I hope doesn't have to truly leave cricket even when his playing days are over. Because this is one player who truly makes cricket the game it is, for so many.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

It all comes down to..............................................

This zero, invented by us Indians is indeed very unique. It's a great leveller.
No matter complicated the calculations, nothing is left the moment you multiply by zero. No matter how big a number we get, if there is zero and its companion ( nothing but a  tiny dot '.') at the beginning, it all gets belittled. Whereas, the same zero . at the end, could increase it manifolds, proportional to its original value.

We all have our very own zero that centres us. And all we really need to do is figure out our zero and keep track of where it is.  Keep it ahead of us and life's joys get multiplied. Let it go behind, and boom! Suddenly, there's nothing, no matter how great everything else is.

On second thoughts, who knows whether it  is easier to uncentered, disoriented or centered and cruising but in a rollercoaster, never knowing what the next bend has in store. Sometimes there are no answers.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

The winner stands alone....but why???

****Warning : Spoilers ahead****

I think this book took me the longest time ever. Of course, there some that we just discard. In this case, however, I read half and discarded once. And then somehow, got back to it. It held my attention a bit more this time. Its not that its no fast paced, because it is,  it's just that I don't know why it was written. Its too negative. Its interesting because it shows the other side  a serial killer. The guilt, the doubts. But then it goes on to shows his blackness of heart. And why would such a person "win" in the end?

What I did like though, was the background. The author has embedded many gems of thoughts inside a gruesome story. Here are some :

"Normal is
-anything that makes us forget who we are and what we want ; that way we cna work in order to produce,   reproduce and earn money

-making fun of anyone who seeks happiness rather than money and accusing them of lacking ambition

-Standing facing the door in a lift and pretending you're the only person there, regardless of how crowded it is

-Postponing doing the really interesting things in life for later, when you won't have the energy....(there's a whole list,   have shared the only ones I found most interesting)"

"Experience has taught that people only give value to a thing if they have, at some point been uncertain as to whether or not they' ll get it"

"People forget who they are and start to believe what other people say about them"

"Total power means total slavery"

"We all have a purpose in creation and that purpose is called Love. That love, however, shouldn't be concentrated in just one person, it should be scattered throughout the world, waiting to be discovered. Wake up to that love. What is gone cannot return. What is about to arrive needs to be recognised."

"Even if you're doing the same thing over and over, you need to discover something new, fantastic and unbelievable that went unnoticed the time before"

A talking match

A conversation is like a badminton/tennis match. Except for the rare volleys, one person remains more dominant than the other. One may be more dynamic, pushing their limits while the other just somehow returns the ball back in their court. It's not always that they don't want to, they just can't sometimes.

Its rare to have players in equally good form. At other times what happens is we hear out those with whom we want to talk but don't get a chance. And we talk out those whom we just want to hear but they don't have anything to say.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Looking back, I want to say....

So many times when we re-analyse any situation, we get this "oh, no!" moment when realise to our utter horror, how irrelevant/harsh/embarrassing we were. In a  way it's only the middle one which keeps coming back again and again to haunt. All these moments especially seem to creep up on me when night is old, and yet sleeps creeps out of reach. It makes me wonder how I could have uttered/done certain things. If only that middle-of -the-night clarity had persisted in those moments! 

Anyway, as I remain awake till morn in this night, I just want to apologise to all  those who may have had to bear my wrong-footedness during such moments. 

And for the future, may I reflect more on such sleepless nights and achieve greater clarity of thought. 

Sunday, March 13, 2011

dil dhoondta hai yeh kya?

dil dhoonta hai kuch is jahan mein
ek nayi khushi udaasi ke saaye mein
ya koi udaasi is khushi ki chhaaya mein

dil dhoondta hai kuch is andkaar mein
Ek umeed ki roshni is kaal mein
Ya ek andkaar is chamchamate ujaale mein

dil dhoondta hai kuch is zamaane mein
ek humsafar is tanhaayi mein
ya kuch ekant is bheed ki parchhhayi mein

dil dhoondta hai kuch is sangharsh mein
koi raasta is safar ke daldal mein
ya khojaana chahta hai vo isi sagar mein?

The little leaf

I pity the little leaf
Noone notices it, all they see is the tree
The hugely spread tree
With millions of leaves
All overshadowing each other
Yet none do we see
Except for the tree
Who in itself would have hardly any identity
Had it not been for the leaf losing its individuality
It is the little leaf which bears it all
The brutal rain, the scorching sun, the dusty wind 
And still stick to its stem it does
while crying tears of pain
which we see as beautiful dew
Or even after-effects of rain
while the strong tree stands tall
But finally the leaf loses the struggle
Withered, each falls 
In its own time
Till all that is left is the tree
Only then do we see, it is empty
Without the leaf,  its non-identity.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Nature is blissful :)




I am lucky enough to take this kind of walk everyday:)
It's enough to fill ones heart with gladness!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

PG Express 3

It's now time for another PG Express (5) but as I scrolled through earlier posts, I saw this, and wondered why I never posted it. Maybe I got burdened by yet some more stress or maybe wanted to add more into it but forgot after a while but anyway, here it is, short , incomplete even but that's how life was ..almost two years earlier. Wow! Has it really been that long? If I hadn't checked the dates I could well call it few months ago. Maybe that's why this has been waiting (you know, I posted another PG Express in between, which should ideally be because this one still got left out ), because despite all the changes, life remained same in some weird way throughout this  : "PG Express 3".

"Seems a long time since I wrote the first PG Express, yet it's not exactly because time has been slow or boring. It's just that it's been long in terms of experiences gained and in terms of changes.

From the time when I wanted to escape from here to the time when I felt insecure leaving this second home....certainly come a full circle...

It's been full of highs and lows...successes and failures. What has been constant is learning to work. And that too "group work"! That means knowing when to put in efforts and when to withdraw. It means days of frustration that you know nothing and guilt of letting the other person work. But it also means days of frustration when you do all of it and you wonder why. A good work-partner certainly makes life easier. To be able to shout at each at midnight after a submission and to be able to tease each other it next day shows the strength of friendship and understanding.

Work also includes "leadership" and the ability to handle deadlines and pressure. It means "people management " also. "

....but most importantly, it means how to handle "self" also.But more on that in the next Express.

Monday, February 28, 2011

It's nice to be imperfect

So often we hear people say "Noone's perfect". I guess till recently, I never really gave it a second thought. Until a conversation with a friend. We all have our weakpoints, some which we may have struggled with all our lives. But what I realize now is that it is ok to let go. Stop the struggle. Accept yourself. You aren't perfect but that doesn't make you bad, despite your vices. 

After a while what happens is that people close to us get used to it and accept it all. It no longer bothers. Maybe it's time we let it stop bothering us also. There is no crime in being imperfect because all of us fall in that category.  Nature isn't perfect. But it's beautiful. Look closely at flowers, they will not be exactly symmetric, the trees also have their "fall",lines on our handprint are crooked but we made palmistry out it.We don't mind any of that. Then why mind our own nature especially if it doesn't adversely affect the world at large?

Minor skirmishes would always be there. If there was no noise, what would be the fun in image/signal processing?:)

Monday, February 21, 2011

The most excruciating seminar ever...

The ingredients and process follows...

  1. Your worst subject
  2. Some old weird accented guy
  3. No general type of topic seminar, instead lots of nitty gritty, equations and the depth of them! 
  4. No applications.....! Just your wondering mind with questions like "why are we learning this".................and a little later..........."how much longer"

..............a little later "my watch must have stopped!!!!!how can it still be just 2 minutes????????"

and a LOT later "well! It has to end in 5-10 minutes"

.............................30 minutes later ....................."How can a one hour seminar last 1:20mins????What they trying to do? Kill us???"

And at the end of it.................."I need to kill someone NOW ".

By the way, the seminar didn't end even after 2 hours!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Love is magical

I think this is term which everyone has tried to define but noone actually can. Because we all interpret in our own unique way. And maybe there are no words to actually describe this emotion. One can only feel and understand it. But it fill life. It completes us. And acts like a security blanket which a kid likes to carry everywhere with it. I am sure many of have been through a phase in childhood when we had/wanted something  which would always stay with us or maybe an invisible friend to talk to always or an angel/genie  to look after us. We forget this as we grow up in a life of disappointment and with time, most of us lose faith in magic ever co-existing with life. Until suddenly, one day, if we are lucky, there comes someone who loves us and reminds us of that childhood dream, who fulfills it. And the world is magical again! And there starts our second childhood. No, not old-age but love. Love makes us see life again through childlike wonder and zest. Love makes us believe in magic.

Love makes us believe.

Blogging in happier times

Why is so hard to write in happier times but one can't stop writing when upset?
I guess it's easier to write when you are miserable and confused rather then when things do work out for once. But why???

I want to write a nice and big post even though I don't know what's it going to be about. Well, lets see if I am able to. Blogging has become so scarce these days! These was a time when posts would just flow through my keyboard but now that's rare. Maybe it's because one tends to think and reflect less when there no despair. Or maybe one feels afraid of being thought of as "gloating". Or maybe it's just sheer laziness. I mean there is physical need to write when upset because you need to find a logical conclusion/a sounding board/ a distraction. Whereas there do come times in your life when well, you need nothing really and you are actually content. This is when dreams come true and before you get ready to chase after some more.

It is quiet, peaceful place to be in. Very much like the sunshine,a warm comforting bed after a hard days work, chocolate, a lovers arms, a baby's touch....


Life’s joys today remind me today of its twisted journey so far
So many sweet dreams lost along the way
Some so jeered,
Some were cheered but crashed anyway
And some just faded away

A heart that refused to give up
A will that faltered but never gave way
Eyes that refused to throw the rose tinted glasses away
A child who dreamt along falls and tears
Triumph comes to them for now God has banished all their fears!

Friday, February 11, 2011

"After all, I believe the nicest and sweetest days are not those on which anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens, but just those that bring simple little pleasures,  following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a string.":) (Anne of Avonlea)

Sunday, February 06, 2011

It is only after the rain that you see the beautiful rainbow, cherish it:)

Saturday, February 05, 2011

Life is seesaw

Life is seesaw, full of ups and downs.
God gives us dreams, God gives us the will to fulfill them.
God even makes them come true.
Why then  is the world not always a beautiful place?
What goes wrong?
Even after experiencing miracles, common stuff hurts. Why???
Do we expect too much or is this just life?
In short, is happiness really not supposed to last or are we supposed to make a greater effort to ignore those skirmishes?
But if we try to ignore them but telling ourselves that they do not matter, are we not lying to ourselves? Isn't it better to be true to ourselves rather than ignore our feelings, our very nature?
Does truth end where optimism begins?
Is there even a line between the two?
Once an optimist now finds all this very  hazy.

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Oh what a beautiful day!

The bright blue sky, the fresh green grass, bright sunshine and the cool playful breeze
new flowers cropping up everywhere, the chirping birds, the squirrels nibbling along the way
.....oh what a beautiful day:)
It's sheer bliss to be around such weather and to have the time and freedom to enjoy it.....
to it add the sparkle of beautiful company and there's no greater joy on this earth.....
Oh! I so much wish to compose a poem out of this but can't get anything right now.....maybe later...
For now lets just enjoy this song:)

Friday, January 14, 2011

Let us not let the bloggerworld die

In the recent times, blogging seems to be fading out of our lives. Even for the most avid bloggers of some time.
The social networking sites seem to be killing the bloggerworld. Or is it us? Maybe the fast pace of life is getting to us. So we just like to post weird status messages and play mindless games instead of really thinking and sharing thoughts. This is not for blaming anyone, I have also been part of the same race. But after a while it gets to you. I personally miss blogging and more so the bloggerworld. 

It was like a sea of knowledge and we collected a few shells here and there. And sometimes threw some of them back which others collected after the waves has cleansed them. Those were precious. Now they are like mementoes as the sea dries away.

Maybe all that is required is a droplet by all.

Blogging provided an outlet, a way of introspection, a way of sharing. Its been a great companion, this blog. Through the hectic exams, the weird moodswings, the soulful discussions, the fun and playful times, its just been great to have a piece which expresses that state of mind. And to see the readers response to it...sometimes it just gives whole new insight!

Basically to have such a space which is your very own is very very special. Try it. Especially for those who have written and stopped or have been thinking of starting to write or want to write but have "no ideas". You don't need ideas. They come as you get into flow. And till they do, don't worry. This is not a space where people judge you.

So long live bloggerworld!

Sunday, January 02, 2011

A new everyday life continues to be a new kind of miracle

A new year is a time to start on a clean slate. A time to learn from  the past follies and mistakes. A time to reflect upon them and move ahead.
And I really used to rejoice in that.
Yet this time, I don't reflect, I don't analyse. I just accept .
I don't want to move ahead. I want revel in the moment. And re-live it again and again.
Life was scary and suddenly , like a miracle, it all worked out.
And I didn't dare wonder why.
Because it seemed something like winning a lucky draw. But as I think about it now, I feel it was more like the feeling a stonecutter gets when his hundred blow actually works. A consistent effort, even if little, does yield results eventually I guess.
Life never stays perfect of course and I still have my share of ups and downs, but it's different now. Like I know that it DOES work out in the end. Like after witnessing a miracle.  Emotions swirl but there is a kind of fearlessness that stays.

There is also a pang as this year I experienced the fragility of life and loss.

I could very easily say that this has been the biggest year of my life. In so many ways it's true. But I also know each of those earlier years was special  and enriching in its own unique way.

Maybe that's all life really is. A bundle of experiences for us to learn from.

Ohhh! My blog will get boring if this is all I keep writing about!
But hey! I know there are going to be million new and very interesting experiences(and thus reflections) this year and I am looking forward to them and learning from them, sharing them.For now though, let me remain in this inertia.

A very happy new year to all.