Friday, August 21, 2009

Finding a match

Read this post of tapasya's
Couldn't resist replying here :

Finding a match is somewhat like finding the correct expensive shoes. You can't rush it and you have to try them on and know you are comfortable otherwise you are stuck with them and can hurt yourself seriously because once you have invested in them, you will be sure to continue using them!


jayant said...

Well, I like to use the word "lottery" with arranged marriages and of late, I've started using it for love marriages as well.
The point being,if something goes wrong in an arranged marriage,you've got your family to fall back on.However, in love marriages,at least one of the families disown the boy/girl and then life seems to be too long..esp if the girl is cheated.
Obv. she think she knows her self selected match but a recent data from the Delhi High Court shows that about 70% of the cases there are divorce suits filed after love marriage!

aditi said...

I wrote for both cases. Both are a matter of chance but the probability of disappointment decreases with time....

Tapasya said...

Super Analogy Adi !!

Points to note:

1. you have to "buy" them:D
2. eventually, they wear out (but the good part is, they protect you from wearing out...ignore the good stuff for the time being, warna maza kharab ho jayega meri comment ka).
3. a single pair of shoes is never enough :D :D :D
(you need a different one for each occasion)
4. you can't wear them 24/7. You need your freedom and space.
5. fashion/trend changes pretty often...after you've bought one, you realize there are better ones in the market now.

pisku said...

finding love isn't easy and there are no rules.
but equating finding a life partner to finding shoes? isn't that a bit too negative?

all these notions are created in your mind, so choose to be pleasant and the world will seem pleasant

jayant said...

Well said,Pisku..
and they fail to realize that almost the same things can be said about finding a girl too!
sometimes people get carried away when they read something funny and some of the so called 21st century girls would do anything to show off that they're cetra.
Well, let's nt go too much into it.Dun wanna start another controversy

aditi said...

Reply[Taps]Cool comment many pairs are enough for u?:P

Waise 4th point is seriously relevant!

[pisku, Jayant] Take it the lighter sense!
But seriously with arranged marriages people get less chance to choose then even a pair of shoes. The essence of this post is that we need to spend time before we can talk of commitment even for shoes. So why not for a life partner?

Ash said...

mindblowing discussion! :P
Valid points mentioned here :)

Tapasya said...

@Jayant, Pisku:
Guys, take it in the lighter sense. We're joking about arranged marriages in general, be it for guys or for girls. Don't get sensitive on the analogy.

At the end of it, in every relationship, if you're honest and caring, you'll pull it off. It is about compromising and giving space to the other person, and about respecting that everyone is different, and everyone is good. Applies equally to girls as it does to guys :-)

jayant said...

@Aditi and Tapasya: I've no complaints about the post, girls. I liked it thoroughly and even supported it in my initial comment.
However, the following comments by Tapasya irked me a bit, which was supported by Pisku.
However, nothing personal against anyone here :)


Tapasya said...

I apologize for having offended you/hurt your feelings. My intention was to have some plain humor, and nothing else. Sorry !!

jayant said...

Heyyy.. plzzz!!
No need to apologize n all. It was jes a difference in opinion and that's what d purpose of commenting is, right?
was jes goin through ur blog.. nice one!

Ankur said...

Very nice post and equally interesting comments too... But what i feel is arrange marriages do give you a chance know the person and in some cases better than love marriage... in case of arrange marriages
we get to know the family too which is very important to know a person in long run...
arrange marriages generally starts with families having believe that two are made for each other whereas in most of the love marriages the starts based on external beauty mainly ..
So know to make it relevant with post and Shoes:P we can take it as buying shoe from a known shop and then try it or just buying something from roadside ...
P.S. i am not against love marriages just a thought

aditi said...

[Ankur]I think one can't choose between the two. But in arranged marriages to find the "right one", required lots of understanding which the society doesn't offer. And who is to say that one would know the family? Most people just pick matches out of matrimony sites. How can one be sure who they really are? Is it not better to be with someone you actually know?
[the rest]
Cease fire!!!

Tapasya said...

Kya yaar, tune to mujhe "the rest" bana diya :D :D :P :P

aditi said...

Oye ...oversight hogayi:P
Actually you come in the "restless":P

Bhushan said...

Awesome analogy and d discussion tht followed. some how missed d chain over d week but m really enriched after reading it now. This 'topic' really seems to occupy all our minds nd every1 is hearts out discussing it. So here's mine too:
Arranged marriages hve existed over d ages nd like many surviving good old things of past I believe they must also hve gone thru

Bhushan said...

many debates nd ensuing reforms.

Now love marriages r a relatively new phenomena for our culture as mentioned by Jayant thru its 70 % failure rate as observed by delhi HC (now one may debate d defn of failure but dat can be discussed later). At d same time thr exists d remaining 30 % cases which seem to hve absorbed d benefits of arranged marriages as rightly pointed by Ankur. For thr r ties tht start with love (another defn challenge possible here?) between 2 ppl and end up being arranged marriages by d families too. Though traditionally it has been d other way round. And its a matter of time when both cud (?) get equal.

So, its not worth debating which is better. But at d same time coming up with analogies such as this post's really helps understanding d nuances. Even more so doing it jokingly helps to keep d atmosphere light unlike the heavy seriousness of my comment :-) But I did so as I cud get to type more while posting this comment from my new E71 :P

aditi said...

Thanx:)Well you have concluded the topic perfectly! Need I say more?:P