Freedom will come again

For all those captive to 2020 Pandemic, the freedom will come again,

Freely we will walk and swing,

Our footsteps in their tempo unrushed but with a spring, 

Out in the open and closed spaces we will all be,

Full of giggles, fun and glee,

All food cravings will be satisfied,

The need to travel, shop, roam about gratified,

In the meanwhile, we have the best of worlds at a glance,

Home and family time as never before so utilize this chance,

Give family games, long talks, family cooks and sing alongs their due time while you can,

Before normalcy again falls into place and life rushes past and you start longing for a pause.

Spend some with yourself too,

Hone your skills if you want,

Or just read, paint, dance or rest a while,

Don't wait it out, make the best of this new normal with a smile.

Too many goals

What does one do when there

are too many goals, too many wishes, the need to expand too wide? 

Should one tell ones passion to subside?

Or certain hobbies hide

Or by normalcy abide?

Where in the norms do you reside?

What do you when pulled you are in conflicting directions?

How to address the minds fluctuations?

Pandemic 2020: Work from home practices

Team Practices

• Have daily calls with your team

• Meetings towards the start and end of normal working hours encourages the team maintain similar timings 

• Over-communicate in initial stages to make sure there is clarity

• It is always good to ask the person on the other side of the line if they can talk when you call. Or better still, fix times for calls as far as possible.

• Utilize technology for better communications. Video calls work well. Screen sharing helps.

• Get to know your team members 'environment and see how best they can be helped. Sometimes even listening helps.

• Create some lighter moments through virtual games, general discussions or sharing some interesting thoughts. It can just be a short 15 minute exercise when possible. We as a team share an interesting thought by rotation everyday. The other day we played a 15minute virtual hangman, it was enjoyed by all.

•  Have detailed discussions with subteams and encourage team members to work in subgroups and continue discussions within them.

• It helps when team members self declare productivity. They add their key tasks and productivity percentage everyday. Enter yours as well in the same folder. In the beginning, reminders for calls and entering tasks may be required

• Above all, trust them, they won't suddenly change due to work from home. Similar time taken for similar tasks also prove the same.

Individual practices

• Maintain the same working hours as far as possible

• Have more calls

• Keep buffer for setting up

• Keep a fixed workspace

• Take regular short breaks. Tea, lunch, a short walk even in the house or light exercises

• Find ways to make it more fun

• Keep some time without calls, when you can just focus on the task at hand 

Pandemic 2020 lessons

By the end of this, we will learn:

1. The value of food

2. Ways to utilize all kinds of food items and ways to cook with minimal items and maximize its longlasting power

3. How to cook. That is one skill all will most probably take away from this.

4. The same for various other daily items. We will probably not waste things after this 

5. Rationing of items

6. Value of work and going out

7. Value of a walk and fresh air, rainy days, cold days, sunny days. 

8. Innovative ways to entertain kids

9. Innovative ways to work from home, maximize team time.

10. How all of us are the same and under similar circumstances

11. Innovative ways to spend quality time

12. Value of Family 

13. Value of Human life

14. Value of a clear and clutter free home

15. Value of solitude

16. How different people take calls in the same working space when you can't walk away

17. Value of household help

18. Value of routine

19. Value of support system

20. Innovative ways to stay healthy and exercise

21. So much more....

WE are changing forever as history is getting created. For the first time in all our lives, the entire world faces the same situation and fights the same enemy.  Lets  let it bring out the best in us.

2020 Pandemic -4

Today A got milk. We put the alarm and made sure to get up early to get milk and break. Only one of us can go to get stuff since we don't want our child going out at all. Also today onwards, there is a curfew like situation. 

In the evening I tried to get tomatoes (again within the society) but everything was closed.

Just now there was an announcement by the PM. It is now an all India lockdown. And it is enforced. 21days lockdown. Is this really happening. My dad mentioned never having been through anything like this. Not even during war curfew. We are in this for the long haul. It's gonna tough. It's also gonna interesting in a strange way. 

Making the best of it is the new challenge. We aee making history. And if we defeat Corona Virus, it will be epic! 

We played family Bingo! Tomorrow I plan to play virtual Hangman with my team.

2020 Pandemic -3

Yesterday was Day 1 of Delhi Lockdown. Everything is closed now except essentials. I heard that there was a fight for milk yesterday and the police. It's scary to see the situation deteriorating so fast.

We did not go out, plan to go get milk tomorrow.

It's a stressful time. I taught my son weaving as a stressbuster in the evening. We sat and talked on his bunker bed which we had earlier cleared. We clear an area of house everyday. 

I was grateful to busy in work all day. Back to back calls. It was fun working at home together. Attend calls at the same time, do household chores and just help each other out. 

2020 Pandemic -2

Today the governments quarantined Delhi and many other states. A complete shutdown of metro services and railways. I think autos and cabs also.

Our office also closed operations. At least we no longer have to risk travel in this situation. Till yesterday that was a fear and one wondered about alternates like partial work from home and leaves.  Now all private industries are closed. But suddenly this also increases the fear even more. 

At 5pm, so many people gathered to make noise, ring bells and thalis.Clap together. It showed such solidarity. 

Then I got to know that my parents society is locked down. No maids, no staff. And noone can enter or leave. We can't help or meet indefinitely. It's not as if we were going out  or meeting right now, we were all isolated, but now we can't.

Suddenly it becomes more real. More confining. What all will this self confine teach us ahead? 

We watched Khataron ke Khiladi which was kind of soothing to see what all people cab endure. Gruesome and weird stuff. So methodically they do it. Some fail but are also unharmed. This reality too shall pass. 

Can we use the time turner here? Can it also fast forward? 

2020 Pandemic - 1

It's 2020. Today we stayed in. Everything is closed. Shops, restaurants, malls, salons, school, colleges. The city and country may shut down anyday. Tomorrow is a single day Junta Curfew. 

Yesterday we got some basic groceries, making sure not to take more than 2 packets of anything to avoid hoarding. The Dal packets and butter and many such things were finished. But well, essentials are covered. We have a weeks supply of vegetables. We saw some people buying 50 packets of vim. Enough for a year, two years? The hoarding has begun and begun affecting people even as the government and shop keepers alike say that there is enough. 

Today our son got his report card online. He did very well and thus asked for a new toy. We promised one, after the Corona Virus saga ends. And the countdown begins.

Today we sanitized money. We already sanitize ourselves, mobiles, wash milk bags.

People suggest sanitizing dustbins, all furniture surfaces. Door knobs of course. Clothes and shoes worn outside need to be removed and separated immediately. People don't shake hands. If you sneeze, people glare instead exclaiming "bless you". 

A few days earlier, an elderly gentleman stood outside our society giving sanitizer to everyone, risking everyone at his age to protect the society. We see the worst and best sides of human beings these days.

A few days ago, I took my son to ride his bicycle (no parks so this seemed a no contact way out), he was stuck and before I reached him, an elder kid helped him out. Instead of feeling grateful, I felt afraid. Did he touch the cycle, my son's clothes? Should I sanitize? That was the last of our rides till this ends.

When we thought how 2020 would be, noone expected this.

Virus pausing  and consuming mankind. Is this reality or some Sci-fi novel? Robin Cook, are you controlling reality?

Travelogue

"London is a riddle, Paris an explanation" ~G. K. Chesterton

Destination: UK and Europe

Places you visited: London and Paris

Best cuisine: British High Tea and French dessert

Breathtaking moments: 130meters high on London Eye, Harry Potter Studios in its full glory, first view of picture perfect Eiffel Tower and when it lights up.

One local word that you learnt: Sortie (Exit)

Few Lines about the people there: There are variations. The French know English and there are places in London where the people don't know English! There are those who would go out of the way to help and those who are matter of fact and busy. People in general though, will not treat you like Royalty in hotels or shops unlike India. 

One Must Try / Best Things to Do there: Don’t just do tourist spots. Do something that matters to you. In London, do something literary. It is home to so many authors and has  many author and book based museums. In Paris, spend some time on monuments besides the Eiffel Tower also. Do take a city tour: it could be coach/cruise or hop on hop off bus. It gives great historical insights.

Your advice for ‘Essentials to carry’: Thin raincoat, rainproof boots, longish coat, some layers, multiple scarfs and hats and you are done! 

And books, if on solo travel! 

A good internet connection to navigate. And a portable charger. Carry cash and cards. Carry only a little cash a day to avoid stress in touristy places. 

 Details: 

For my solo travel, I started off with London Paris, probably the most visited cities in UK and Europe. It gives a whiff of European flavor while one is rooted in English normalcy. The connection between the two cities was easily covered by a 2.5 hours Eurostar train.

What enthralled me were the quaint British houses and lanes. It's a pleasure just walking through different lanes. And well, a greater part of my journey was on foot and through tubes. The tubes give great accessibility and a greater sense of the city; not just geographically but also a sense of people's lifestyle and also fashion sense! This was common to both cities.  In Paris, the structures, monuments and statues hold on to you.and so does the views of the Eiffel Tower through the different hues of the day and different views of the city. 

When you are travelling alone, it's  completely ok to custom-plan based on the experiences you want to take back rather than standard tours. But it may just make sense to stretch a little more and see a little more. Generally 1-2 landmark points a day is good, keeping  a buffer day in each city. UK and European hotels generally don't offer great room service, if at all, so plan your dinners ahead of time or stay near a lot of good food options.

The culinary journey across these two cities is a delight. Whether it is the traditional English Breakfast, Sunday Roast or High Tea, it's worth trying. It, however, takes a lot of effort to find traditional British food in London which is a Hub for all nationalities, especially India. 

The French have some fabulous desserts. I personally loved the Madeleines and crepes. 

In London, do see Westminster's Abbey, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace but also take a detour to James Park or Hyde Park. Do ride the London Eye, one of the largest Ferris Wheel in the world, it's not overrated. Visit the Tower Bridge at night when it lights up (not London Bridge). Spare time to walk along these places.

In Paris, there is a lot more to the city than the Eiffel Tower and a lot more to Louvre than the Mona Lisa. Whichever part of Louvre, one visits, it is astounding in beauty, art and craftsmanship. Even the walls and ceilings are bejewelled and painted. The first view of the Glass Pyramid at  one side and Eiffel Tower on the other with sunset hues of pink silver and ocre is a sight etched into my memory forever.

"London is a riddle, Paris an explanation"

G. K. Chesterton

Destination: UK and Europe

Places you visited: London and Paris

Best cuisine: British High Tea and French dessert

Breathtaking moments: 130meters high on London Eye, Harry Potter Studios in its full glory, first view of picture perfect Eiffel Tower and when it lights up.

One local word that you learnt: Sortie (Exit)

Few Lines about the people there: There are variations. The French know English and there are places in London where the people don't know English! There are those who would go out of the way to help and those who are matter of fact and busy. People in general though, will not treat you like Royalty in hotels or shops unlike India. 

One Must Try / Best Things to Do there: Don’t just do tourist spots. Do something that matters to you. In London, do something literary. It is home to so many authors and has  many author and book based museums. In Paris, spend some time on monuments besides the Eiffel Tower also. Do take a city tour: it could be coach/cruise or hop on hop off bus. It gives great historical insights.

Your advice for ‘Essentials to carry’: Thin raincoat, rainproof boots, longish coat, some layers, multiple scarfs and hats and you are done! 

And books, if on solo travel! 

A good internet connection to navigate. And a portable charger. Carry cash and cards. Carry only a little cash a day to avoid stress in touristy places. 

 

For my solo travel, I started off with London Paris, probably the most visited cities in UK and Europe. It gives a whiff of European flavor while one is rooted in English normalcy. The connection between the two cities was easily covered by a 2.5 hours Eurostar train.

What enthralled me were the quaint British houses and lanes. It's a pleasure just walking through different lanes. And well, a greater part of my journey was on foot and through tubes. The tubes give great accessibility and a greater sense of the city; not just geographically but also a sense of people's lifestyle and also fashion sense! This was common to both cities.  In Paris, the structures, monuments and statues hold on to you.and so does the views of the Eiffel Tower through the different hues of the day and different views of the city. 

When you are travelling alone, it's  completely ok to custom-plan based on the experiences you want to take back rather than standard tours. But it may just make sense to stretch a little more and see a little more. Generally 1-2 landmark points a day is good, keeping  a buffer day in each city. UK and European hotels generally don't offer great room service, if at all, so plan your dinners ahead of time or stay near a lot of good food options.

The culinary journey across these two cities is a delight. Whether it is the traditional English Breakfast, Sunday Roast or High Tea, it's worth trying. It, however, takes a lot of effort to find traditional British food in London which is a Hub for all nationalities, especially India. 

The French have some fabulous desserts. I personally loved the Madeleines and crepes. 

In London, do see Westminster's Abbey, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace but also take a detour to James Park or Hyde Park. Do ride the London Eye, one of the largest Ferris Wheel in the world, it's not overrated. Visit the Tower Bridge at night when it lights up (not London Bridge). Spare time to walk along these places.

In Paris, there is a lot more to the city than the Eiffel Tower and a lot more to Louvre than the Mona Lisa. Whichever part of Louvre, one visits, it is astounding in beauty, art and craftsmanship. Even the walls and ceilings are bejewelled and painted. The first view of the Glass Pyramid at  one side and Eiffel Tower on the other with sunset hues of pink silver and ocre is a sight etched into my memory forever.

"London is a riddle, Paris an explanation"

G. K. Chesterton

Destination: UK and Europe

Places you visited: London and Paris

Best cuisine: British High Tea and French dessert

Breathtaking moments: 130meters high on London Eye, Harry Potter Studios in its full glory, first view of picture perfect Eiffel Tower and when it lights up.

One local word that you learnt: Sortie (Exit)

Few Lines about the people there: There are variations. The French know English and there are places in London where the people don't know English! There are those who would go out of the way to help and those who are matter of fact and busy. People in general though, will not treat you like Royalty in hotels or shops unlike India. 

One Must Try / Best Things to Do there: Don’t just do tourist spots. Do something that matters to you. In London, do something literary. It is home to so many authors and has  many author and book based museums. In Paris, spend some time on monuments besides the Eiffel Tower also. Do take a city tour: it could be coach/cruise or hop on hop off bus. It gives great historical insights.

Your advice for ‘Essentials to carry’: Thin raincoat, rainproof boots, longish coat, some layers, multiple scarfs and hats and you are done! 

And books, if on solo travel! 

A good internet connection to navigate. And a portable charger. Carry cash and cards. Carry only a little cash a day to avoid stress in touristy places. 

 

For my solo travel, I started off with London Paris, probably the most visited cities in UK and Europe. It gives a whiff of European flavor while one is rooted in English normalcy. The connection between the two cities was easily covered by a 2.5 hours Eurostar train.

What enthralled me were the quaint British houses and lanes. It's a pleasure just walking through different lanes. And well, a greater part of my journey was on foot and through tubes. The tubes give great accessibility and a greater sense of the city; not just geographically but also a sense of people's lifestyle and also fashion sense! This was common to both cities.  In Paris, the structures, monuments and statues hold on to you.and so does the views of the Eiffel Tower through the different hues of the day and different views of the city. 

When you are travelling alone, it's  completely ok to custom-plan based on the experiences you want to take back rather than standard tours. But it may just make sense to stretch a little more and see a little more. Generally 1-2 landmark points a day is good, keeping  a buffer day in each city. UK and European hotels generally don't offer great room service, if at all, so plan your dinners ahead of time or stay near a lot of good food options.

The culinary journey across these two cities is a delight. Whether it is the traditional English Breakfast, Sunday Roast or High Tea, it's worth trying. It, however, takes a lot of effort to find traditional British food in London which is a Hub for all nationalities, especially India. 

The French have some fabulous desserts. I personally loved the Madeleines and crepes. 

In London, do see Westminster's Abbey, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace but also take a detour to James Park or Hyde Park. Do ride the London Eye, one of the largest Ferris Wheel in the world, it's not overrated. Visit the Tower Bridge at night when it lights up (not London Bridge). Spare time to walk along these places.

In Paris, there is a lot more to the city than the Eiffel Tower and a lot more to Louvre than the Mona Lisa. Whichever part of Louvre, one visits, it is astounding in beauty, art and craftsmanship. Even the walls and ceilings are bejewelled and painted. The first view of the Glass Pyramid at  one side and Eiffel Tower on the other with sunset hues of pink silver and ocre is a sight etched into my memory forever.

Disclaimer: When I travelled, the coronavirus was just at its onset with only a single case in France and travelling was not at all inadviseable.

Balance

There are women who use weapons of tears and minor fears

And there are those tell them that as jeers

You need to cook and watch the baby

You can take more time

You need not try harder

You already have it harder

Ohh why glamourise if you are a career woman!

Why not dress up, why look tired if work at home?

Why not agree that you have it all,

If you work from home?

You can take it easy, 

You are a wife, a mom!

Why strive for the best position

It's early that you go home !!

And,

Why do you not do something worthwhile?

Like  work a while?

What do you do all day long?

Rest, sleep, watch and still frown?

Well, we do have the best

The best brains, resilience, strength and emotional capacity

As any other 

Any human being

And we work the same 

No more, no less

At home, office or at any place you guess,

Though some are still supressed!

But overcome it all, we will

As more and more understand equality

With which humanity is actually blessed

So lets join hands again,

And spread the equality,

Looking forward no special treatment, only normality!

So lets set the balance for this duality!

All the bright places: Jennifer Niven (quotes)

1. "The world breaks everyone and afterwards, many are strong at the broken places" ~Ernest Hemmingway

2. Rules of geocaching: take something, leave something

3. Early in our lives, early in the new year. If you're counting, you'll notice the earlys outnumber the lates

4. Arrange whatever pieces come your way.

5. I am rooted but I flow

6. When we're in the act of wandering, we need to be present, not watching it through a lens

7. The ugliest place is beauitiful to someone...to the people who live there

8. You have to live your life like  you'll never be sorry

9. You can't count on things staying around or standing still, no matter how much you want them to

10. Growth itself contains the germ of happiness. Maybe a germ is enough. Maybe a germ is all you need.

11. Germ: origin of something, a thing that may serve as the basis of further growth or development

12. The problem with people is that they forget  that most of the time it's the small things that count. Everyones' so busy in the Waiting Place.

13. There's a built in ending to everything in the world, right?

14. There is only now and if now is only two days then two days is your life and everything will be in proportion.

15. Sometimes things feel true even if they aren't. 

16. But does forever have a built-in ending?

17. Words can be bullies.

Positives one go on the wall and negative ones on the floor. They don't need to hang around after you do.

18. Your mountain is waiting so get on your way!

19. The thing I realize is that it's not what you take, it's what you leave

All the bright (and dark!) places

When life has so many real happy and tragic stories, how is it that a book can you feel so sad, completely out of it.

I wished I hadn't peeked but I guess one knows such endings much earlier as one after the other event leads up to it.

It's the kind of book I hate and love. As a writer it makes me feel inadequate. It makes me wonder why I write when I can see such beautifully written words. What treasures do I have to offer at all?

As a reader it makes me feel so completely out of it. I hate it for making me feel like that. And yet I respect the power within in it to make me feel it.

I wonder at myself why made up stories induce real feelings.

It's not something I will read again though I might share it's quotes later.

Book list 2019

This is my reading list for 2019. I read 90 books and 42 new ones. A lot, even for me! This was a relatively tougher year and books helped. Somehow, at the right time, I found the right book relating so well to that situation. I at least completed my books related resolutions: at least 2 new ones per month.

Here's to another year of reading! At the end, there is a link for possible new books and accessment of those read. Maybe the next year will involve revisiting some classics...

1. Six geese a laying by Sophie Kinsella

2. Let it snow John Green and others

3. My morning routine by Benjamin Spall and Michael Xander

4. The rooster bar by John Grisham

5. Finding Audrey by Sophie Kinsella

6.Neferet's curse by P C Cast

7. SVU: no rules

8. I've got your number by Sophie Kinsella

Feb

9. Can you keep a secret by Sophie Kinsella

10. Percy Jackson and the Sea of monsters by Rick Riordan

11. Percy Jackson and Titan's curse by Rick Riordan

12. Percy Jackson and Lightening Thief

13. Percy Jackson and the battle of the Labyrinth

14. Percy Jackson and the last Olympian

15. Heroes of Olympus: The lost hero

16. Heroes of Olympus: Son of Neptune

17. Heroes of Olympus: The mark of Athena

18. Heroes of Olympus: The House of Hades

19. New place, new face.

20. Heroes of Olympus: The blood of Olympus

March

21-23 Girl online series

24. Problems at Pollensa Bay by Agatha Christie

25. Tea for two and a piece of cake

26. Something Secret by Gwyneth Reese

27. Best Friends by Jacqueline Wilson

28-38. Sweet Valley University and High series (rereads)

39. Night of the Prom

40. The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion

41. I owe you one by Sophie Kinsella

42. The Rosie Effect by Graeme Simpon

43. Thus Spoke Chanakya by Radhakrishnan Pillai

44. The Present by Spenser Johnson

45. The Lemon Cafe by Cathy Bramley

46. The girl with nine wigs by Sophie van der Stap

47. The little Christmas Kitchen by Jenny Oliver

48. A cat among the pigeons by Agatha Christie

49. Mrs. McGinty's dead by Agatha Christie

50. The moving finger by Agatha Christie

51. Crooked House by Agatha Christie

52. Murder is easy by Agatha Christie

53. At Bertram's Hotel by Agatha Christie

54. The babysitter's club by Ann M Martin

55. Stacey's truth by Ann M Martin

56. On a snowy night  by Debbie Macomber

57. Clean Break by Jacqueline Wilson

58. Living dead in Dallas by Charlaine Harris
59. Camp Club Girls by Shari Bari

60. The secret of Chimneys. Agatha Christie

61. Five little pigs by Agatha Christie.

62. The perfect holiday by Cathy Kelly

63. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

64. The silent patient by Alex

65-66. St Claires by Pamela Cox

67. Still me by Jojo Moyes

68. The right time by Danielle Steel

69. Close Encounters, Nancy Drew  by Carolyn Keene

70. Parker Pyne investigates by Agatha Chistie

71. Model Suspect, Nancy Drew by Carolyn Keene

72. The girl in room 5 by Chetan Bhagat

73. Lucky T by Kate Brian

74. Famous Five by  Enid Blyton

75. Everyboday worth knowing by Lauren Weisberger

76. Scrambled legs ( stupus cupids) by Jahnna N Malcolm

77.Scrambled legs ( we hate ballet) by Jahnna N Malcolm

78. The wishlist by Jane Costello

79. Girls in Pressure by Jacqueline Wilson

80. Bucket list Traveloholic by Sarika Pandit

81. Ghost Stories, Nancy Drew

82. Koi Good News by Zarreen Khan

83. Demigods and Magicians by Rick Riordan

84. Nancy Drew

85. 13 little blue envelopes by Maureen.

86. What Alice forgot by Liane Moriarty

87. Sisterhood of travelling pants, second summer by Ann Brashares

88. Forever blue, sisterhood of travelling pants by Ann Brashares

89. Sisterhood Everlasting by Ann Brashares

90. The bucketlist to mend a broken heart by Anna Bell

https://brightside.me/article/200-superb-books-everyone-should-read-at-least-once-80205/

Wanderlust

I have never believed in bucketlists but sometimes life shows you a face that tells a different story. If there are things one would regret not doing, they need to be done sooner rather than later. That is NOW. 

And it is now that the wanderlust bug has bitten me badly. There is so much I want to see. Some as solo trips, some as family, some with kid, some with partner and some with friends. But most importantly, at least some of these trips, I NEED to experience.  It's scary to enlist this and get further caught with the flow but here it is.

My current list includes: 

England: London, High Tea, literary walk

Scotland: Edinburg

Ireland  (maybe)

Denmark

Italy: Rome, Florence, Venice

France: Paris, Nice,

Greece: Santorini, ...

Norway

Istanbul: Turkey

Dubai

Bali

Netherland

Japan

All states and union territories of India at least once

 Some others:

Any one Disneyland or maybe even 2.

A revisit to Vegas 

New York (Manhattan)

Hawai, Miami, Honollulu, Big Sur

Revisit to SA/Canada(maybe)

Germany(maybe)

England: Stay with an old English lady 

Take a short course somewhere

Order food in other languages ....

Maybe also Eastern side: Hungary/Budepast/Vienna/Prague

Egypt? (Less so)

Maybe...One of Mayasia/Maldives etc...near last choices

‐-----------

I hope to do substantial from this list in next 10/20 years. It may not be all or even close to all. I hope to take this lister as a pointer and initial point and then develop further based on experiences. It could be few or more or just a couple. There have been many others earlier for which I am grateful. I hope when I go it remains magical and is always more than a list. A city needs to be imbibed, not viewed. And we can each have a diffetent window to the same place and a see slightly different view.

Why do I need this? Because travel imparts knowledge and growth beyond measurable ways. Because it broadens your viewpoint. Because I want to. Because....well just because!

Epiphany: it's me

So many times in life, we come across situations which are like crisscrosses, where we don't know the right path. For the longest time, I used to hope to go to someone to just get those answers. At first it would be the wisest or the closest ones. They know you best and can advise clearly, logically. But with time, sometimes one may still not get convinced. Because there can be too many unexpressible questions or different opinions amongst them or even a non judgement/non-opinion. And what is right for one may be wrong for another. Maybe that is why people have "gurus". But then I doubt they discuss with them their day to day situations.

Recently, in one such situation, I was confused, overthinking and looking for a validation for an answer, to make sure it was the right decision. And it wasn't even a very big decision. That's when I had an epiphany. It's me. Noone besides myself can provide me with those answers to me or at least that final validation. Because it needs to be right to me,  for me first. Even if it seems right to everyone else, till my mind validates, it will not let me be convinced. And if it is right to me then I can go ahead with a clear conscience. And somtimes it's ok to " doubt ones doubts". Not over analyse a decision. Just let it happen.

It  may not seem momentous but was a big realization for me. After years and years of wondering, to finally know that the answer was within me.

An apex of pain

Recently I had a dental treatment. A treatment so severe that it gave a new meaning to pain. I always felt chidlbirth was the apex of pain so anything following it in life had be less severe. Well life lives to prove one wrong. This experience competed well for it's place in the pain category and tied right up there.

I think I finally understood "out of body" experience. I was incapacitated with pain. I was the pain and nothing else for a while. I could only survive it. Breathe through it and make myself believe that it would go away.  Sometime. Eventually.  In the meanwhile, I had to wait it out. Survive. I wasn't brave throughout. I was terrified, stunned and just holding on. But it did go away a few hours later. After painkillers reduced it to "just pain" which though also severe, was one through which I could see the world and feel that I was more than the pain. I could feel hope again. I held onto my dreams and rode them to rosier times. And finally, like a melody, it reduced to a whisper and I was myself again. I was not just functional but living my life again. Even in spurts in between the pain.

The treatment is not yet over. Hence nor is the pain for good. I know this is a pause. But I write this is in that pause to give hope to all others suffering from some catastrophical pain just one thing:

 "it will get over. Eventually"

Find your secret ingredients

Recently I was asked to write a motivating article for the office newsletter. This is a version of the same.

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go do that. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.” – Harold Whitman

It’s important to regularly analyze your skill-set and hone and nurture your talent.   I remember a story in which a class was enacting the play of Cinderella and kid was asked what his part was in it. 

He replied “ I am the pig. ” 

“ But,” the teacher said,  “there are no pigs in this story”.

“Well, there is one now” was his prompt reply. And so there was a pig who followed Cinderella throughout the play, enacted her unsaid thoughts and stole everyone’s hearts! The forest has many animals each with their own unique role. Be a cheetah, elephant, deer or ant but be the best that you can be.  Figure out your role in the larger story:

• Find out what is uniquely you and make the most of it. 

• Enhance and update your skills regularly. Read blogs/literature/ attend workshops/do online courses but constantly keep upgrading yourself in the direction of your skillset. 

• Consolidate this knowledge further by documentation and sharing. 

• Find out what part of your work you enjoy and find most satisfying. These are your unique strengths. 

• Think about how you can offer that role in the best possible way to the company.

• Give that little extra of yourself to that part of the role. If it is development, spare some time for small PoCs, if it is ideation, make sure you communicate your ideas where they can make a difference,if it is communication, get more involved in client communication. If it is documentation, code review, testing, start by taking up multiple such roles for your team. 

• Start small and slowly expand. You could start by aiming for adding value towards your chosen domain maybe 10% more than the rest of  your work and slowly evolve this.

• It’s also ok or actually necessary, to take a peek in other horizons.

• It’s ok to change your area of interest/skillset. Don’t worry if it seems different or too new. Sometimes, that’s how we grow.

• Lastly, never forget to take pride in who you are, what you do and what you stand for. Never underestimate any individual and that starts with self!

Postscript: book quotes

It's uncanny how one finds the right book at the right time. This book comes with food for thought at a time of introspection. Here are some interesting quotes and phrases from it:

1. We don't always remember how we met but we often remember how we parted

2. After digging, toiling in the darkness and dirt, we finally hit something concrete. I learned that rock bottom can actually be a springboard.

3....possessions that became objects as soon as they were dropped into the bag...

4. We all have something that unexpectedly derails us when we are motoring smoothly, blissfully, ardently.

5. Perhaps it is not death that angers or scares us, it's the fact that we have no control over it.

6. There is no end to the loss we can experience, but neither is there to the knowledge  and growth that arises because of it and in spite of it.

7. Just because I've had my share of problems, I cannot become a fixer

8. Love is a tenuous, rarefied thing. Something to be prized and cherished  displayed for all to see, not hidden away in a cupboard, or to feel ashamed of.

9. Life has roots and just like a tree in its quest for survival, those roots spread and stretch to find water, they possess the power to lift foundations , uproot anything in its path their reach is endless; their presence has an everlasting  effect on some form or  another. You can cut the tree down but you cannot kill what it started and all the life that sprung from it.

10. Death is a constant companion with us , watching us from the sidelines.

11. The more the world dislocates, the more we come together. 

Everything that breaks around us, glues us together even tighter, because no matter  how chaotic, everyone has to find their hiding place. Our hiding place is each other. 

12. Hating goodbyes is not a justification for staying.

13. And fearing goodbyes is not a justification for leaving first.

14. Death rips people apart but it also has a way of stitching together those left behind together.

15. There's always one more thing to say ( at the cover page)

Routine is underrated

Recently I yet again realized the value of routine. Sometimes it takes a shaking of the world around you to make you realize this.
There is a quote in a song...
"Khoke apne per hi toh usne tha udna seekha"
Translation: Only on losing its wings did it (the bird) learn to fly.

We so often lose sight of our blessings while striving ahead. There is so much restlessness in today's age to do more, strive more and greater perfection in everything. A holiday or occasion should be picture perfect and full of exotica. Meals should be well plattered. Kids should learn, no master tonnes of activities and get no less than 99.999%, hobbies should be monetizeable. If you are happy at home or at work, you are in "comfort zone". Go go go, do something extra. Do something more. And then share. First we amass goods and then we go into a declutter frenzy.
And keep moving in the race. The race to do more but feel less. The race that literally leads to a "dead" end while the present becomes a blurry frenzy. In some ways the ride in this rollcoaster is still fun. But why not open our eyes and see and enjoy the journey? Because there is no destination. The journey is all we really have.

The evening cup of tea with family, watching sillyreruns, holding hands, bingeing on fav food items, playing with kids as one of them, reading till 4am because you can't put the book down, long talks with friends, walking under the stars, the strong sunshine, a warm bubble bath, coloring in bliss, exploring  a new place (country state or even the cafe nearby), swinging freely. That's life. And it's beautiful. Complete as it is. Requires no more to make it "more".

Of course this definition varies for each one of us and even with each of us at different intervals of time. But what's important is to know what brings you peace and joy. And holding onto it in the midst of the race while we can. It's as important to pause or reduce the speed at times as it is to keep going. Take a stock of your journey and direction. Enjoy the mundane for it is one of the biggest blessings of life.

The gift of silence

I recently finally understood why I loved flights so much ( besides the amazing views). I love it for its inaccessibility. For a while, you are literally away (above) from the world. I mostly believe in solitary flights and window seats. So its just you and the endless clouds and some landscapes as you leave or reach them. I love the lift offs. Not so much the landings. I love the idea of being in the sky. Flying. I even love the much hated flight food. I cherish the silence, literal and in the mind that one experiences. It is the one public transport where people do not generally chatter. It is the one time noone can reach you. For a while one is away from everything. And there is no sense of guilt, responsibility or expectation. It's a unique freedom in today's fast paced world. So yes, my idea of every ideal holiday is with flights :)

Recently I experienced such silence on an away evening. The meetings were done for the day. I walked to my room, visiting a church, shopping a little, losing and finding my way about a few times. When I finally reached, I knew the evening was just mine. I felt no need for TV, music or even the phone. I kept them away. Silence was blissful. Time for some introspective writing. Reading a new book (that, I couldn't do without). Reviewing life. It's necessary I realized. Every few months, we should give ourselves the gift of silence. One day. Two days. Quality time with self.  What one does could vary from person to person but it should be just them. No media and no other people. Only the one person you can never escape though you may avoid many times every day.

This can even bring about some interesting ideas, solutions to places where we are stuck and in some cases, life changing ideas. It's not surprising that so many scientific discoveries were by scietists when in bath, about to sleep, wake up..the alone states.

So where do you find your peace?