Lucky

I was harried and bleary eyed right in the morning. I hadn't  got much sleep for almost the entire month. I had needed a break since the last 4 months but could not have it for yet another month. There was so much work and yet it didn't seem to get finished to even give me the satisfaction of a work well done. And the social calendar being full  with get-togethers and rituals and the "what nots"  right before my deadline didn't help much either. As I rushed in the department, I tried to smile but couldn't with my heart yelling "somebody help me!",  I saw a person a wheelchair, smiling proudly on operating it himself. Suddenly I realized how lucky I really am. To not need to help for little things of life. To not only have work but also the ability to work. To have loving and supportive family and friends. To have a busy, full life.

Lessons learnt during pregnancy that are for life

1. Eat well. Eat nutritionally.
2. Give in to your cravings some of the times...no matter how odd they are.
3. Exercise is important ....for everyone ...decide what to do based on your stamina.
4. Size doesn't matter. Looking good is more about how you are feeling inside.
5. You don't need to be pregnant to want to make yourself feel good.
6. Pray. Meditate. Whatever gives you peace of mind.
7. Read.
8. Music helps.
9. It feels good when people help. Be one of those helpful ones.
10.Naps are ok.
11. Your health matters. You matter. Take an odd day off when you need it.
12. Be prepared in advance.
13. Expect the unexpected.
14. Smile.
15. Always have something to look forward to.
16. Watch your step. Remember #11.
17. Everyone has a right to be moody sometimes.
18. Drink your milk. An investment for later.
19. Same with the fruits n veggies.
20. This too shall pass. Even labour does.

Poetry

Poetry is meant to be felt, she thought, not to be analysed.
To be read from the heart, not broken down into words.
To be expressed, not explained...
To hide as much as it is to reveal
To be touched gently
Like doves flying by...

Choices

I am back as promised ...to write more .....
Here's a random thought...isn't irritating when people say "Oh, I could have done that".  It could be any small or big thing. The answer should be "Well, too bad you didn't loser. So keep quiet."

There's a conversation between Harry and Dumbledore in "The chamber of secrets" in which Harry wonders if he should have been in Slytherin after all.
"Then why aren't you in it ?"  asks Dumbledore
"Because I asked the sorting hat not to put me there"
"Exactly! You chose it. It is our choices which make our destinies rather than our abilities. " replied Dumbledore.

We all choose where to invest our time, energy and patience. Having the ability isn't enough. It's like this in PhD also. Probably many people may the ability to do research work but they may not have the patience, persistance and passion that requires you to continue solving the same problem for years. And even within PhDs, every thesis and its story is unique. Yes, each degree has a story. A story of sacrifices, passion, smiles, tears and turmoil. Success and failure and then the in between phases.  At the end it may feel "easy" like something that should have dawned us a lot earlier but it's not just about the results, it's about the process and the story associated with it. Just like life. It's all about journey.

Things to do before 30 and the journey so far

I just realized how gradually blogging has been fading from my  life. Only one post in the last year. So many things left unsaid. So many posts incomplete. So many thoughts faded out without getting converted to words. And so many words in diaries instead of blogs.Well to make sure that this year is no worse if not better, I mean to complete this post.

Recently I have been looking at lists of things to do before turning 30. A little late I realize. I am turning 30 in 4 days. So that doesn't leave a great deal of options to do something very wild and/or elaborate. Daily life doesn't permit a great deal of spare time. But as I started making lists now and a couple of months earlier, I realized I had already done a lot of I wanted to albeit without lists. So here's a list of what I did do (and probably would have added in my list in my 20s) ...........

1. Find the love of my life...suddenly the joy of life increases manifolds...you dream more , want more and live more fully ...
2. Get married....and to have that for the rest of the life...life with your best friend.......(at least when you are not bickering ..lol)
3. Have a kid of my own....a child completes your life in a way that none can. It's whole new life. And the entire process ...pregnancy and giving birth to your child....feeding him...holding him...well it's a whole new list which keeps growing ...
4. Experience pregnancy to the fullest...I not only had food cravings but also color cravings!
5. Experience childbirth...was fortunate enough
6. Learn how a kid grows up
7. Learn how a kid learns to communicate...one of the biggest curiosities for me
8. Read lots in all categories.....collect them all....have an over-brimming collection
9. Go into research...ok so I don't have a job yet but I am pursuing the work of my dreams in PhD
10. Get into some top university...specifically IIT...more specifically IIT Delhi...done :)
11. Get placed in good companies...ok so I didn't join but I did get placed.
12. Own a car
13. Travel alone...I did at least in India...more than 5 times
14. Travel with a friend...Hubli...
15. Travel with your sweetheart...
16. Travel with your little family (kid+sweetheart)
17. Airtravel...I love airports and planes...I even enjoyed waiting at the airport the one time my flight severely delayed
18. Stay with a friend....ok so it was only a couple of days each time but it still counts
19. Hang out in a big group till the death of night..yeah..beach@Chennai...
20. Get some kind of award...did get a few
21. Spoke on the radio
22. Lucky draws...have been lucky that way :P
23. Write a book...(*well near completion actually)
24. Loads and loads of college fun...friends, groups and dating:)
25. Finding a good, sincere set of friends to share, care, laugh and cry
26. Shopping with friends
27. Planning your own wedding 
28. Being an important person in your best friends wedding :)
29. Visit the beach again
30. Swim again...or at least try
31. Run a marathon
32. Do some literature course...did one online in Coursera...was enriching, fun and satisfying...I actually worked on it!
33. Thanking the important people of your life...do try...started with that phone call to an old fav teacher....
34. Wear a white dress and veil :)
35. Wear other dresses....all kinds
36. Give a lecture in a seminar
37. Try some adventure sports...snorkelling, it became cliff diving when I fell off a cliff!
38. Have THE PERFECT honeymoon
39. A relaxing babymoon
40. Eat lots of exotic stuff
41. Learn to cook a  bit
42. Lead somewhere...college magazine as well as Newsletter at IIT
43. Be the " go-to" person for help, for discussions for your friends
44. Go to the stadium to watch a cricket match and shout your hearts out...I also got my face painted ;)
45. Lots of known dates after some kind of engagement 
46. Lots of secrets ones before it ...there were some VERY close calls!
47. Be creative...hmmm...gifts to loved ones, nailart, painting my mobile case, knitting baby stuff  and lots and lots more
48. Internet chats....
49. Different looks, haircuts...
50. Have some one who will want to read you diary and whom you will be willing to show the same
51. Take a road trip with loved one
52. Visit the Taj Mahal
53. Visit some foreign country with loved one
54. Visit the zoo with your child
55. Give some of your loved toys to your child...my baby on my childhood truck...
56. Skate again....did so once and was ok at it...
57. Play carrom again...some wishes are that small...
58. Have someone to play scrabble with
59. Midnight birthday celebrations
60. Throw a surprise party
61. Read to your child
62. Sings rhymes with your child
63. Watch lots of animation movies
64. Watch the popular TV sitcoms...Friends, House, Masterchef, HIMYM, Boy Meets World...a few that I loved...
65. Watch a few popular Indian ones...Tarak Mehta ka Olta Chasma...a great one ...so different form usual Indian serials though even some of those were pretty good...like Jassi, BALH...
66. Lose weight...did so many times ! However I did start some healthy habits finally.
67. The perfect Mehendi party...
68. Wear a Sari on your own
69. Experience the perfect marriage moment...
70. Sweetheart on knees to propose
71. Stay actively part of parents life after marriage also
72. See your parents dote their grandchild as the baby grows
73. Bike riding....it's fun from the back seat also :)
74. Dance with the love of your life
75. Dance with your child....(also the love of your life...)
76. Create sandcastles again....did it all...sand castles, sand mermaid, doodle of names with hearts, collecting shells...

Travel Diary would include (20 year onwards)

India : Mussourie, Bangalore, Hubli, Mumbai, Chennai, Jodhpur, Jaipur, Lucknow, Alwar,kosi

Thailand: Phi phi Islands, Krabi, Phukhet

From Childhood:

Canada

South Africa: Durban, Johannesburg,  Cape Town

Mauritius 

Here are some which I would probably add for later on...

• PhD degree
• Job
• Visit Italy
• Disneyland
• Listen to/read news
• Complete that book
• Publish it
• Read some religious books
• More swimming
• More beaches
• Make enough space for your entire novel collection
• Exotic teas...try
• Keep trying different looks...its fun
• English tea...proper...at England..? At other places. 
• Keep increasing your travel diary....create one....
• Also add Goa, Andaman, Pondcherry, Northeast for India
• Keep dreaming................