PhD is like an infinite candyland, there is so much to try that it gets
you excited but as you start one, you get tempted by another.
It's been over 2.5 years now into PhD. I have moved on from the lonely phase. Have seen the ups and downs of it a few times. I have gone from the one-track to this project done to there's more to life then just this. It happens to all of us at times. We expand our lives. As did I. But with it, the clutter in your mind increases. There seems so much to think about, and thus write about, that at times you just feel like shutting out for a while. Life is so very big (no I don't mean long, I mean big) that little blossoming thoughts get lost in it while big rude loud ones dominate. But all we need is those little ones. Simple ones. Not the day to day complexities which will keep changing. But the reasons behind those complexities. The reasons behind joining PhD for example. Yes, there comes a time in every grad students' life when you wonder why you ever did this to yourself. For me those reasons had always been very clear: there was nothing I wanted to do as much as this. And that still holds. But even this simple thought can get lost as life expands. As can other important ones about not just PhD but also life. And one day, you know you just have to go looking for them all.
It reminds me of this childhood prayer, though there's nothing "gloomy" about life
"When the world all around you looks gloomy
And all your dreams go astray
There's a still small voice within you
To show you the sunlit way
Lend an ear to the words it's saying
You'll find you never go wrong
For the still small voice within you
Will show you the way to be strong
Whether you're alone or in a crowd
It will guide you wherever you go
It can be heard above thunder
Tho' it's silent as new falling snow
It's a gift handed down by the angels
A treasure of love you can share
And the still small voice within you
Will always, will always be there"
Well I am back now.
It's been over 2.5 years now into PhD. I have moved on from the lonely phase. Have seen the ups and downs of it a few times. I have gone from the one-track to this project done to there's more to life then just this. It happens to all of us at times. We expand our lives. As did I. But with it, the clutter in your mind increases. There seems so much to think about, and thus write about, that at times you just feel like shutting out for a while. Life is so very big (no I don't mean long, I mean big) that little blossoming thoughts get lost in it while big rude loud ones dominate. But all we need is those little ones. Simple ones. Not the day to day complexities which will keep changing. But the reasons behind those complexities. The reasons behind joining PhD for example. Yes, there comes a time in every grad students' life when you wonder why you ever did this to yourself. For me those reasons had always been very clear: there was nothing I wanted to do as much as this. And that still holds. But even this simple thought can get lost as life expands. As can other important ones about not just PhD but also life. And one day, you know you just have to go looking for them all.
It reminds me of this childhood prayer, though there's nothing "gloomy" about life
"When the world all around you looks gloomy
And all your dreams go astray
There's a still small voice within you
To show you the sunlit way
Lend an ear to the words it's saying
You'll find you never go wrong
For the still small voice within you
Will show you the way to be strong
Whether you're alone or in a crowd
It will guide you wherever you go
It can be heard above thunder
Tho' it's silent as new falling snow
It's a gift handed down by the angels
A treasure of love you can share
And the still small voice within you
Will always, will always be there"
Well I am back now.
