Today is Childrens' Day and as different people recall their childhood and glorify those times, I seem to have a different perspective. This time, right now is the best. There have been many forwards about single life being great and maybe it is so for many. To each his own. But this post is for those married people in their 30s leading normal, stable lives. This time is the best. You are married, maybe with a child or two, a stable job or if lucky then career, you have a set of stolid friends and are more or less "settled". And that's actually great! Lets rewind and see why.
Childhood is a time of dependece, unstability and uncertainity. You don't know who your friends are. You get bullied. You fear being a laughing stock the most during this time. You don't know what you will do with your life. You are complete "dependant". This starts somewhere in school. For some this starts during middle school and for some, earlier. The phase before this fades with time and preserves fewer memories. Homework, marks, competition, discipline and peer pressure define a typical child or typical Indian child. Maybe some hobbies come to play at some point of time. They come with their set of guilt of "not studying". The child becomes a teenager. Their priorities change. Friendships, crushes and latest trends become more important. There begins the start of their push for independance. Teachers' and parents' opinions suddenly seems very remote. Friends matter though that may or may not help. This is also the time maximum hearts are broken. Sometimes even by so called friends. This is the most unpredictable age as interests and dreams start taking directions and many plans made earlier go haywire. An aspirant doctor may want to become an actor, a would be scientist may suddenly want to be a writer and so on. Sometimes there is a basis and sometimes it is just an exploration. But as they push boundaries, some may feel too bound and unable to explore which could be the start of a lifetime of regrets and blamegames. Others explore, push and thus starts the phase of uncertainities. College starts and suddenly the freedom becomes variable. You are in a transition from childhood towards adulthood. Future becomes important. Relationships become serious, friendships more selective and careers more result oriented. You measure everything in terms of how it will affect your some remote future. You also experience some "in between" pleasures. You also make great memories. But the rest of the time the future looms a ahead like a gray hazy cloud of smog. As you approach forward, you realise, moving ahead paves the way and that's all there is, different paths for the rest of the life. Crisscrosses which never end but do decrease with time. As you make more decisions, you move away from the mesh and more towards a major direction with minor diversions. Of course, conditions apply !
A few hit and trials, a few setbacks, some success earlier or later in different aspects of life and you are here. You are settled. You know whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. You are "home". You know what you want to do in the rest of your life. Another direction settled. You live with your own little family. You are independent. You can be as slovenly or neat as you wish. As lazy or adventurous as you wish. You meet your little one. Suddenly you can explore a fresh childhood without the pains of actually experiencing it. Or maybe those pains of helplessness increase for parents later but not for the next 6-7 years probably! You have a set of stolid, trustable friends. People you can depend upon. You have more confidence. The world, in which you have your own niche is no longer scary. Ridicule is no longer as feared. You can revel in your uniqueness and best of all, the little things are just that, little. They are no longer the end of the world. You are cushioned by stability in different aspects of life. Life has an entire spectrum to offer as you get ready to taste its diverse flavours.
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