Friday, June 25, 2010

Research

Research is like living on a lonely island. Sometimes people get stranded on it and there's company. Otherwise there's just you and infinite space.

It's a place where time and tide hurry for no one.
It's a merry but lonely spring turning into a river which makes its own course as it goes along.

It's about having your cake and eating it too. But it's also about the weight gain later on!

It's a life box on facebook. You never know what turns up but you be sure you will some else with the same status update.

It's like being a king who who has no money.

It's like creating news but not reporting it.

It's like making castles in the air and being able to live in them too. But of course they are invisible so no one else sees them.

It's the equator between heaven and hell.

This song also defines it somehow...line by line...

Monday, June 21, 2010

Coding-a form of self expression

Coding is a form of self expression. You have the thoughts, you just to express them in a way that the computer understands.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Change

People say we can get used to anything. But there are many things one would not like to get used to. Or maybe that's how we feel at the beginning of any phase. Noone likes change even if they are looking forward to it. So of course dreading it , find it any unwelcome visitor who refuses to go. With time you could get used to his habits but you don't want to. It's much better to remember that it's a visitor than will go than believe that "this is the way of life".

But even better would be to take the positives out of any change. For example, in case of the unwelcome visitor, you may realize how you don't want to be. You won't want to come to him so you would work better! If that visitor is loneliness, that you might want to revel in solitude. Use it to do all you never got the time to do because as said here about space, it's never according our needs.

Belief

A rose remains so even from a distance
You may not be able to feel its fragrance
but know you do that it exists

Authors of long ago inspire from a distance
You can never meet them
but know you do that on their words, many souls subsist

Success sometimes haunts from a distance
It may not be yours today
But you know come it will someday if you persist

Loved ones are sometimes apart in physical distance
You can't hear all the words, you can't feel the loving touch
But know you do that the love exists

Saturday, June 12, 2010

A new world, a new post

OK! So it's been a while! I know I haven't posted anything in a long time. But somehow I also felt as if blogging had got stagnated all around me.

Well I am back now and hopefully with a more regular thought sharing process in my system. The problem is that to share thoughts, you need to register them. But sometimes, you just like to be numb. Not feel anything. Not think anything. It's not always due to pain. It can be sheer laziness.But usually hidden beneath the layers of indifference, lies some kind of fear. A fear of confrontation of our thoughts.

The title is deceptive in this case. There is no new world right now, for me at least. Just that I am going live the old one differently. Like it is said

"We can never make a new beginning, but we can always start afresh and make a new ending."

It's time to wake up! And as usual, whenever there's work to be done, I end up writing. I guess people would call it procrastination but it does help clear the mind. It's like after a long slumber one needs to a cup of tea at least before starting the day.
AND when pulling all-nighters , that becomes several cups of tea. So maybe that's what blogging all about for me. It wakes me up. It makes me see reality as it is before me.

Would just like to add :

Rasta hai lamba
Manzil ka nishan nhi
Safar hai thoda akela sa
Dil mein humsafar to hai
Par ankhon mein uske kadamon ka nishan nhi
Yun to chalte chalte mur sakte hain hum bhi kahin
Manzil milegi har mor par hai ek nayi,
Par kahin aur jaane ki koi chah bhi to nhi

Ab yahan tak aa gaye hain, ab aage bhi jayen!!!


(PS :I know am a bit rusty ...been long.)
BTW, I like this new layout but more than that I like the variety that's been offered by Blogger. It's been fun trying out different types of layouts.

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

A flutter

Life is really like a book. You may not turn back but your past will never really go away. It will remain engraved in the pages of your life. Sometimes a gust of wind will flutter the pages and take you back in time whether you want to or not. You can only watch it, can't get into it. So it's upto you to move forward again.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Velveteen Rabbit

Such a beautiful story and makes so much sense in the "real" world also. Here a few quotes from the same...

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit ........"Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." (Isn't that what love is about universally! )


"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt." (so true...at least in case of true love)


"Once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." (Replace real with really loved...so true, love is the greatest beauty ever, so one who is loved is always beautiful)




Tuesday, April 27, 2010

aashayein



aashayein aashayein aashayein
aashayein aashayein aashayein

aashayein khile dil ki
ummedein hase dil ki
ab mushkil nahi kuch bhi, nahi kuch bhi
aashayein khile dil ki
ummedein hase dil ki
ab mushkil nahi kuch bhi, nahi kuch bhi

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Perceptions

There are so many perceptions to life. What may be right for one can seem completely wrong to another.
Wow! It's difficult to actually accept the fact that many times all opposing views can be equally right. But the only person who would know this is an outsider, hearing all points of views.

Monday, April 05, 2010

Nothing lasts forever

Tan man dhan sab kuch hai tera
Swami sab kuch hai tera
Tera tujh ko arpan
Tera tujh ko arpan
Kya laage mera

Nothing lasts forever though it's still hard to believe this basic fact of life.
It haunts us off and on in different ways as we learn about the fragility of life itself.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Rat Race

I withdraw from the rat race where noone gets time for anyone and everyone just wants to push the other down to outshine.
It's all so pointless when at the end of the long day all of us will lose each other into the same heap of ashes.
From now on I WILL slow down. I will not let this pace affect me. I will not let it make me hyper, "too busy" , angry, self-centered and whatever more it used to.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Kabir- eternal pearls of wisdom

These are some words which may have been heard many times but hold new meaning for me.

Dukh Mein Simran Sab Kare, Sukh Mein Kare Na Koye
Jo Sukh Mein Simran Kare, Tau Dukh Kahe Ko Hoye

[In anguish everyone prays to Him, in joy does none
To One who prays in happiness, how sorrow can come]
..........
If we remain connected to God then we would not lose peace of mind, nor would we be agitated enough to be in anguish. But unfortunately during good times we remain too busy to remember Him. It's only in sadness that we recall this fact ........

Sayeen Itna Deejiye, Ja Mein Kutumb Samaye
Main Bhi Bhookha Na Rahun, Sadhu Na Bhookha Jaye

[Give so much, O God, suffice to envelop my clan
I should not suffer cravings, nor the visitor go unfed]
............
We don't need a lot of money. We just to need to subsist. If we have enough to subsist independently and enough to help anyone in need then we need no more
............

Kabir Man Nirmal Bhaya, Jaise Ganga Neer
Pache Pache Hari Phire, Kahat Kabir Kabir

[Kabir Washed His Mind Clean, Like The Holy Ganges River
Everyone follows behind, Saying Kabir, Kabir ]
....................
Make your nature good. Don't get angry, jealous or greedy. Don't speak ill of anyone. It's not a to ask but it is required greatly.
....................
Aisee Vani Boliye, Mun Ka Aapa Khoye
Apna Tan Sheetal Kare, Auran Ko Sukh Hoye
[Speak such words, you lose the minds Ego
Makes one composed, Others Find Peace ]
..........
It doesn't take a lot of effort to speak nicely with someone., to tell someone that it will be ok instead of blaming them for cribbing. And it gives peace of mind
..........

Kaal Kare So Aaj Kar, Aaj Kare So Ub
Pal Mein Pralaya Hoyegi, Bahuri Karoge kub
[Tomorrows work do today, today's work now
If the moment is lost, how will the work be done?]
............
Never put off anything important for later. You may never get a chance. Adn this is not just for work but anything in life. We get "too busy" for important parts of life thinking we will get back to them later.But sometimes that "later " never comes.
............
Maya Mari Na Mun Mara, Mar Mar Gaye Shareer
Asha Trishna Na Mari, Keh Gaye Das Kabir
[Neither Maya(illusion) Died, Nor the Mind Died, Die and die again People/Bodies
Hope and longing have not died, so said Das Kabir and left ]
..................
We live and die and this continues forever but what doesn't die is hope. Our soul lives on. And that is the essence of being even though the body dies.
..................




Friday, March 26, 2010

Khwabon Ki Ye Duniya Hai, Khwabon Mein Hi Rehna Hai
Khwabon Ki Ye Duniya Hai, Khwabon Mein Hi Rehna Hai
Raheen Le Jaaye Jahaan, Sung Sung Chalna Hai
Waqt Ne Hamesha Yahaan Naye Khel Khele
Waqt Ne Hamesha Yahaan Naye Khel Khele
Kuch Bhi Ho Jaaye Yahaan, Bas Kush Rehna Hai
Kuch Bhi Ho Jaaye Yahaan, Bas Kush Rehna Hai
Manzil Lage Kareeb Sabko Yahaan Pe
.................
manzil pe aakar thame
tab socha to jana ki
kimti the vo raste ke lamhe


Yahaan Sabhi Apne Hi Dun Mein Diwaane Hain
Yahaan Sabhi Apne Hi Dun Mein Diwaane Hain
Kare Wohi Jo Apna Dil Theek Maane Hain
Kaun Kisko Poochein, Kaun kisko Boley
Kaun Kisko Poochein, Kaun kisko Boley
Sabke Labon Par Apne Taraane Hain
Sabke Labon Par Apne Taraane Hain
..............................................and that includes me. Selfishness seems to have a Gaussian membership for an average person.

One doesn't realize it until there's jolt. But even then we are so much like robots that no matter what happens, after sometime we go back to our routine unthinking ways .....and get too busy to live with people. A numbness sets in. There seems to be no other way to live.
Example :Ironically it's often the case that one will be too busy to visit a sick person but not for a funeral.



Wednesday, March 17, 2010

What should one strive for?

Adult life sucks!
As a student, you don' have to worry about what happens "ahead". Only on how you can make "future" better.
Suddenly you realize this is future. This is your career.
OK , I love what I do. It's what I wanted to do since childhood, it' my dream come true. And STILL I am miserable! And I used to be the optimist!

It's just that you come to a stage of your life when you don't know what is right.

Before you all get impatient, the reason I miserable is because of stress. And stress is not even work related. It's more like finding gold mines after coming a long way in space and time , and not having sacks to fill the gold in...because of administrative difficulties or because your company is too poor to produce that many sacks. What do you do?
  1. Leave it?
  2. Unclothe yourself to make sacks?
  3. Go back and waste time and opportunity
Is there any choice which will not give you stress/frustration?

Sunday, February 21, 2010

The rollercoaster continues.....

Again it's been long since I wrote. Well for once there was nothing to write. I am still stuck in the PhD Rolllercoaster. Technically, I took the infinite ride so stuck may not be the right word.To be exact, it seemed as if I am in the down phase of it. But luckily that changes every few days. I make lists of things to do and get frustrated when some of them never get done. But then not everything is within my control even if it is priority to me. I try different things but none work for long. It gets discouraging, then there is a glimmer of hope, my heart soars with it to fall again and the cycle repeats. It's exciting, but it gets a little frustrating to say the least.

What really helped was a conversation I had with a friend. I experienced this saying:

"A friend is someone who sings your heart's song
back to you when you have forgotten the words."
~ David Coppola

.......and it felt great. It helped me realize what was missing. Made me realize that I needed to feed my soul at regular intervals. It's ok to do that. It's necessary to do that.

But the "me time" works only when you are stress free. And that couldn't happen till I had got "proper" work done and not just "everyday" work. Don't ask me the difference!

To sum it up, I took time off to get some work done and suddenly felt whole and relaxed again, at least for a few moments...

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Facts of life-Kabir

Kabir gave pearls of wisdom ages ago but they are still so valid...

Chalti Chakki Dekh Kar, Diya Kabira Roye
Dui Paatan Ke Beech Mein,Sabut Bacha Na Koye

Translation :
Looking at the grinding stones, Kabir laments
In the duel of wheels, nothing stays intact.

Pothi Padh Padh Kar Jag Mua, Pandit Bhayo Na Koye
Dhai Aakhar Prem Ke, Jo Padhe so Pandit Hoye


Translation :Reading books everyone died, none became any wise
One who reads the word of Love, only becomes wise


Bada Hua To Kya Hua, Jaise Ped Khajoor
Panthi Ko Chaya Nahin, Phal Laage Atidoor

Translation :In vain is the eminence, just like a date tree
No shade for travelers, fruit is hard to reach

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

PhD -The Rollercoaster Begins

This is going to be a tough. PhD does try its best to turn you into a geek. It's almost like a physical transformation and each day, I see it in amazement and then I revolt!

Let me give an instance. It's been a little over two weeks since I got back from a 10 days intensive workshop. And today I felt frustrated because I haven't done any concrete research till now! It's not as if haven't been working but at the same time it's not as if I have either! There's a lot " extra work" which doesn't really fall under any concrete category. What's weird is how I secretly felt glad and proud to have been given it so I could have a chance to "learn" instead of resenting the take over of my free time.

It's been the other way round. I resent free time in a way. I go out to enjoy and I come back and feel guilty and upset that I didn't give that time to work when there's so much I "want" to do. One (or rather any geek) would wonder why I go out then at all. Because I want to. I want to remain NORMAL and remain ME.

And what I see around me people enjoying their lives. And I realize that I can't just wait because by the time I am out of here , I will be ancient. Already I feel old. Recently I saw a typical MBA group working. In the field where they went so that they could "make noise" and discuss. And that was their assignment. Sometimes that is it. With no exams!!!

And here I snap if anyone gets me a little late. I seem to make life hell for close ones. This is now. What happens later? I see married people giving "home" priority over work. And sometimes I just can' imagine myself doing that. Study is not just work. It's a form of meditation. It's sometimes even sacred. And it takes over life.It's like being married to work. And I feel guilty for what this would do to someone close. Is the only alternative to remain alone? I don't want that.

For a few moments I wondered why I am doing all this. Then I realized..I enjoy it. Hell! Heaven! It's all here. It's my life. It's the only place I belong. I could never exchange it for any amount of "fun" or any high paying job.

But yes, I do also want to enjoy, love and relax. And I WILL.
So..................................
.....................................as minors and deadlines get nearer...............I blog! And look for time management techniques! Maybe the best one is not to think at ALL.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Tag....Five things on my mind just now.....

I am finally taking this tag of Geetika's. Maybe that I will also get to know what is in my mind.
Hmmmm let's see...

1) I want to go out with friends. More specifically, I want one more day to hang out as we did in B.Tech and at the same place. I still miss that.

2)I want to have a week full of good soulful thought-provoking conversations that were "common" when friends were near.

3) I can see things changing. I know they have to. But I wish they won't all of the sudden.Just because I may remain a student doesn't mean everyone else will but it doesn't stop me from missing company.

4) I wana be better. I don't want to hold onto close ones so tightly.

5) I wana really get started with work properly and really get into it(weird!!!)

I tag Taps and Ash.