Routine is underrated

Recently I yet again realized the value of routine. Sometimes it takes a shaking of the world around you to make you realize this.
There is a quote in a song...
"Khoke apne per hi toh usne tha udna seekha"
Translation: Only on losing its wings did it (the bird) learn to fly.

We so often lose sight of our blessings while striving ahead. There is so much restlessness in today's age to do more, strive more and greater perfection in everything. A holiday or occasion should be picture perfect and full of exotica. Meals should be well plattered. Kids should learn, no master tonnes of activities and get no less than 99.999%, hobbies should be monetizeable. If you are happy at home or at work, you are in "comfort zone". Go go go, do something extra. Do something more. And then share. First we amass goods and then we go into a declutter frenzy.
And keep moving in the race. The race to do more but feel less. The race that literally leads to a "dead" end while the present becomes a blurry frenzy. In some ways the ride in this rollcoaster is still fun. But why not open our eyes and see and enjoy the journey? Because there is no destination. The journey is all we really have.

The evening cup of tea with family, watching sillyreruns, holding hands, bingeing on fav food items, playing with kids as one of them, reading till 4am because you can't put the book down, long talks with friends, walking under the stars, the strong sunshine, a warm bubble bath, coloring in bliss, exploring  a new place (country state or even the cafe nearby), swinging freely. That's life. And it's beautiful. Complete as it is. Requires no more to make it "more".

Of course this definition varies for each one of us and even with each of us at different intervals of time. But what's important is to know what brings you peace and joy. And holding onto it in the midst of the race while we can. It's as important to pause or reduce the speed at times as it is to keep going. Take a stock of your journey and direction. Enjoy the mundane for it is one of the biggest blessings of life.

The gift of silence

I recently finally understood why I loved flights so much ( besides the amazing views). I love it for its inaccessibility. For a while, you are literally away (above) from the world. I mostly believe in solitary flights and window seats. So its just you and the endless clouds and some landscapes as you leave or reach them. I love the lift offs. Not so much the landings. I love the idea of being in the sky. Flying. I even love the much hated flight food. I cherish the silence, literal and in the mind that one experiences. It is the one public transport where people do not generally chatter. It is the one time noone can reach you. For a while one is away from everything. And there is no sense of guilt, responsibility or expectation. It's a unique freedom in today's fast paced world. So yes, my idea of every ideal holiday is with flights :)

Recently I experienced such silence on an away evening. The meetings were done for the day. I walked to my room, visiting a church, shopping a little, losing and finding my way about a few times. When I finally reached, I knew the evening was just mine. I felt no need for TV, music or even the phone. I kept them away. Silence was blissful. Time for some introspective writing. Reading a new book (that, I couldn't do without). Reviewing life. It's necessary I realized. Every few months, we should give ourselves the gift of silence. One day. Two days. Quality time with self.  What one does could vary from person to person but it should be just them. No media and no other people. Only the one person you can never escape though you may avoid many times every day.

This can even bring about some interesting ideas, solutions to places where we are stuck and in some cases, life changing ideas. It's not surprising that so many scientific discoveries were by scietists when in bath, about to sleep, wake up..the alone states.

So where do you find your peace?

Home

Recently we shifted residences and I realized there was a phobia associated with the new place or maybe it was resistance to change.

It took time for it to become "home". Home is not elegant sofas and high profile paintings with perfect teasets. Home is your favourite pajamas and slippers. Watching your favourite tv show with the people who will watch it with you because they love you. A place where you tie your hair loosely and ask for a cup of extra sweet tea on a tough day. Where you place your favourite trinklets all crooked but just as you like them. Home is where you like to  cook. Where you even like to be alone. Where you  stumble to the loo at night in the dark. Home is the best place in the world with the right people. Where you are accepted as such.  Where you fight and make up and fight again. And laugh about it later someday. Home is that familiar blanket and your kids chocolate kisses.  Home is much loved broken toys and paint splashes. Home is where you belong and look forward to coming not just on work days but even on vacations to different locations.

Home is where you are at peace and inspired to write.  :)

New lessons

Today I completed 2 years in a single place in the industry. Well, a lot has changed from that first post I wrote after completing 6 months.

This is the second chapter. The first chapter of the experience changed my perspective of the industry and the second one rechanged it again. Sometimes there are irrevocable changes which change the place or the way one views a place.

There could be a lot of discussion points here. Many I started and discontinued even in this post.They could come as individual posts later on in different ways.

With time there are also struggles in most cases. Sometimes those are struggles at a personal level, at a level of balancing different aspect of lives, the actual work , the stress at the edge which may or may not be directly to actual work or that of growth.

Maybe it's like life. There are different phases. What is most important is to have the basics right. To know which factor is most important and then strive to stabilize there and make sure to sustain it. They all offer chances of growth. The growth can happen in different directions. Sometimes the most important aspect of growth is how one handles the points of struggle or even how well one identifies those aspects.

Sometimes it's the simple stuff like taking time out to talk to friends or rest or destress. Sometimes it's about expressing oneself and clarifying areas of confusion. Sometimes it's just about belonging to a place. Sometimes it's about learning new stuff. Sometimes it's new stuff about the core work and knowing where and when to learn more.

Just like life, one learns different lessons through different kinds of phases and it's always possible to keep learning.

Before bidding adieu

Before the dusk draws near
And the sun sets in,
And day closes for me too,
Let's smile and then bid adieu

Today I am hale, jolly and hearty,
Before the health fades,
Freedom diminishes and dependencies grow in lieu,
Let's play once again before bidding adieu

Before life fades, the body shrinks,
And one gets exposed to weakness, pity and ridicule
Before smiles that I can bring become few,
Let's laugh and then bid adieu

I am but one phase,
While waiting for you are phases many and new
Before it's my cue,
Let's close this chapter and bid adieu

Before one needs,
Before has to,
But while one still wants to,
Let's talk and talk before bidding adieu

Let's enjoy life's brightness and hue,
Green grass and its dew,
Before dusk brings darkness,
Let us walk together and glimpse  at it once more before we bid adieu

The rat race ends,
And we come to the end of the queue,
Let us pause once before bidding adieu

The story of my life: the best is yet to come

Recently a blog competition wanted the writers to write about the story of their lives, give a title and also define the chapters.

It seemed so tempting and interesting and yet I realized I couldn't define it as yet. It's too early.  So much is left "undone" as yet...But as I set about thinking of some of titles, I had a few insights about the journey so far:

1. It's a good life: So many times our daily stress, the pace of the rat race and other minor setbacks get us down. There are less smiles and more frowns. Joys seem scarce. During a recent such phase,  I came across this blog title and upon reflection, it made me realize afresh how beautiful life is. The minor potholes are just scatters of background noise which can easily be removed and don't even affect the main picture. One just needs to remember this.

2. "The secret" is valid: Whatever the heart desires does happen. This is a proven fact in the story of my life. Be in personal or professional achievements or even minor goals. They can all be mapped to this. If they meant enough to me to truly want them, they finally worked out. No matter how far they initially seemed. Whether it was getting my first 100% marks in an exam, finding the right partner, doing PhD, health or hobby related ones or some very targetted, shorter, specific goals. The ones that didn't work out, well they didn't matter enough. I didn't keep thinking of them, they didn't rhythmically beat with my heartbeat. If they did, they did till they happened. No sour grapes here. Just wonder at how simple it really is to make things happen. Of course, they need to be goals, not just dreams. Not all dreams are goals. One needs to be the main doer in them. Not a spectator. If the main action is independent of you then it is not a goal, just a dream.

3. Have faith: Continuing from previous point, one just needs to have faith. One needs to bid time sometimes. I wish as a teenager I knew that things do work out finally. There would have been so much less stress! I wish there was a huge way to convey this at the largest possible scale somehow. It's so important. It's so important to know when one is lost that the ways still exist and one is bound to find them ultimately.

4. Keep making memories: Some of the most memorable times are also the times of maximum struggle. How we made it through previous tough times hold us good for the next ones to come. It could be some motivating motto, songs, books, some life mantras, practices or our support system in the form of people. What gets us through once gives us the strength for the times ahead and a feel good factor that it all worked out. And good times and good memories are created through it all, not after it all. Life keeps happening. It's important to keep living for those joyful moments and making memories along the way instead of waiting for things to get easier or better. These moments are what make things better.

5. Don't get stagnant: Keep dreaming: The end of one dream is often the beginning of another. Living means having something to look forward to. Something that makes us constantly feel alive. Sometimes we need to rest a while between goals. But one must find the next one soon enough before complacency sets in.

Because, the best is yet to come....

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’ 

This post won for the WoW post of the week award.

Mindfulness and the pause that sometimes happens

Sometimes one just needs to switch off and focus on just the immediate needs. Like a wound that takes all your attention. One needs to shut out the world to avoid all else which seems like background noise. That focus is mindfulness. It is at a similar level to meditation.

Recently while waiting at the hospital, I realized people somehow continue their activities there also at times. You visit someone and while there, you utilize that time for a few "urgent" calls, check new messages and drop a few mails. It's required to continue in the pace of life which we have created for ourselves. Otherwise we get left behind or fall off the pace. It's almost like a norm.

But this changes sometimes. Maybe when it affects you or family or someone close directly. Or it could be someother circumstances. Sometimes one just needs to get off the life's treadmill. Sometime's it's enough to just watch close ones sleep peacefully, just observe breathing, realizing nothing else matters as much.  I experienced this recently. There were gaps when I could have technically done stuff probably but the mind froze. The heart didn't want to. For a while I did not want those disturbances or distractions. No new sources of information from the outside world. No questions. No tasks. Nothing more than the daily life at that stage. A kind of inner withdrawl. Away from the outer frenzy. Multitasking has its limits. It's not always about time or physical energy but also about peace of mind. The mind's capacity at a particular time. Crisis takes it's toll and requires more from the mind to just process it and go on. One looks at the outside world for support but all else disolves away like a small island on its own.

This time my mind could handle no more than the daily tasks. And while waiting at the hospital, I just heard breathing and observed the colors of the painting. The shades, the details. Just living in those moments while the mind also stayed still. It found no need to wander towards anything else. It  worked towards recuperating itself. And that, I believe, is mindfulness. Sometimes it is sudden, sometimes forced but if added as a practice, it may prove to be beneficial. The pause can be good in the long run as the race continues.

Hyderabad trip: Green tea and bread (part 2)

Sometimes some parts of our daily activities get so ingrained into our routine that we hardly realize their significance until for some reason, we have to deviate from them.

This I realized at the recent trip to Hyderabad. The accomodation was fine except for one fine detail: it had no tea maker! The first evening soon after arriving, I ordered my first cup of tea and ploughed ahead thinking that there would be tea at the conference and they of course offer tea upon ordering. But what they didn't have in their menu was green/black tea/chamomile tea, in short any milkless flavoured tea!

Over the next few days, I realized another missing item, bread from breakfast! Whether it was at the conference or the accomodation, the multiple options of breakfast offered didn't include. The multiple tea options didn't include green tea. At one point, they even kept the elusive packets of all variety of teas. I reached eagerly and asked for my option, only to be told that there is no hot water currently!
Well my struggles with breakfast did have some memorable breaks in between where such options were made available or pursued.  I was slowly becoming the kind of person who should carry their own tea!

However, this experience surprised me. I never realized before this trip that these two items played such a vital role in my morning rountine. I was reading my morning routine earlier and tried to analyze my routine. It seemed rushed. Green tea as a part of healthy choice but also because it is a quicker choice. This was generally followed by  grabbing a quick sandwich for the way.  This hardly seemed like a routine. Kind of rushed with scope for lots of improvement. But with time, it became a part of my routine that gave me peace. Few minutes of peaceful green tea and the blandness of a simple sandwich.

The blandness, simplicity and flavorlessness is nice in the morning and forms an intrinsic part of my morning and hence daily life. It somehow calms the mind to concentrate on the day ahead without itself taking any energy. No oilyness, spice and hence no heaviness. It just supports. Just like certain people in life.  They just support. And they are such an intrinsic part of our lives that with time we start taking them for granted. They are supposed to just be there. Exactly as they are, everyday of our lives. Because they are the reason we function.  They are our staples. Our bread and green tea. They are our family.  And sometimes it's the deviations which make us rediscover their true value which we would see everyday without observing properly.

Invent A Gadget. What Would It Do?

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’ 

The challenge here is the following:

Invent A Gadget. What Would It Do?‘. Think about a gadget that can help you complete one dreadful task or multiple tasks and write about all that it can do. How will that be useful and make your life simpler or well, maybe happier? Well, here it is....

The challenge in this case is to mention one favourite imagined invention. Well, I will mention my favourite childhood fantasy which in today's world is definitely sliding more towards reality. My fantasy is towards locomotion. Right now telepresence is possible but what would be great would be great would be teleporting. Or to be more precise, a kind of device which generates rays that allow the user to travel in air from one location to another without any vehicle. The rays would propel us as we  provide directions to steer according to our path. With that,  each way becomes 3 dimensional. For each path, we can travel at multiple heights. We travel freely, any time, any where and much faster than currently possible. The device would get charged by solar energy and thus also be a completely environment friendly device.

If I could extend this further, I would say this allows the user the comfort of travel by allowing options such as virtual standing or sitting or lying down. It further allows one to travel great distances at a glimpse. Imagine fulfilling all your travelling dreams when it fancies you. Or visiting that distant, close one at a blink instead video calling. Or even running errands without worrying about traffic!

Well, lets dream on! Maybe this becomes a reality in some form by 2100! 

This blog post is selected by blogadda as shown here

2018 Complete Reading list

2018 was a good year, reading wise. Actually, fortunately, most years are at least in this one respect.  I read 59 complete books including some nonfiction after a long time. Some Indian authors, some new authors, some serious, some light and some of slightly new genre also. 30 out of 59 were new reads. An almost 50% ratio of old vs new reads is perfect in most ways (bold ones are new).

Book 1: Best of Friends by Cathy Kelly

Book 2: The Wish List by Jane Costello

Book 3: The Scandal (Theodore Boone ) by John Grisham

Book 4: High School Musical: Poetry in motion by Alice Alfonsi

Book 5: Thinking of you by Jill Mansell

Book 6: Sleeping Arrangements
Sophie Kinsella as Madeline Wickam

Book 7: Chicken Soup for the Soul
(Reader's Choice) by Jack Canfield

Book 8: The railway children by E.

Book 9: The Dare Game ( A Tracy Beaker Story) by Jacqueline Wilson

Book 10:  One Suitable Girl by Chetan Bhagat

Book 11: The year I met you by Cecelia Ahern

Book 12: The girl on the train by Paula Hawkins

Book 13 Pollyanna by Eleanor H Porter

Book 14: Bone Magic by Yasmine Galenorn

Book 15:  Jessica's secret diary...Sweet Valley series...By Francine Pascal

Book 16: Elizabeth's secret diary...Sweet Valley series...By Francine Pascal

Book 17:  Secret at Mystic Lake
Nancy Drew diaries
By Carolyn Keene

Book 18:
Sleeping Murder by Agatha Christie

Book 19:
The bomb girls by Daisy Steel

Book 20: The Perfect Holiday : by Cathy Kelly

Book 21:Heidi by Johanna Spyri

Book 22: The woman who went to bed for a year By Sue Townsend

Book 23: The short second life of Bree Tanner by Stephenie Meyer

Book 24: Double Act by Jacqueline Wilson

Book 25: The private lives of Pippa Lee
By Rebecca Miller

Book 26: Koi Good News by Zareen Khan

Book 27: The  Demigod Files( Heros of Olympus) Rick Riordan

Book 28: The Red Pyramid (The Kane Chronicles) by Rick Riordan

Book 29: Nancy Drew series: (Green with Envy)

Book 30: Agatha Christie  ( at Bertram's Hotel)

Book 31: Granny Dan by Danielle Steel

Book 32: Who moved my cheese?
By Dr. Spencer Johnson

Book 33:  The murder of roger ackroyd Agatha Christie

Book 34: Medical Romance : A family Christmas by Josie Metcalfe

Book 35: How to fall in love
By Cecelia Ahern

Book 36: Divergent By Veronica Roth

Book 37: My not so perfect life By Sophie Kinsella

Book 38-39: Babysittersclub..number 81-82
By Ann M. Martin

Book  40: Insurgent By Veronica Roth

Book 41: Allegiant By Veronica Roth

Book 42: The Babysitters' Club ( 2 books in the series) By Ann M. Martin

Book 43: Nancy Drew books ( 5 books)
* The emerald eyed cat mystery
* En garde 
* Swami's Ring
* Ice cream soda
* Intruder
(Nancy Drew by Carolyn Keene )

Book 44:  Here's to you Rachel Robinson by Judy Blume

Book 45: One Minute Manager by Kenneth Blanchard & Spenser Johnson

Book 46: Surprise me by Sophie Kinsella

Book 47: Malory towers (next gen series) by Enid Blyton.

Book 48: Blubber by Judy Blume

Book 49: Princess Diaries (Princess in love)

Book 50: Turtles all the way down by John Green

Book 51: I heart Paris by Lindsey Kelk

Book 52: Speedpost by Shobha De

Book 53: I heart Vegas by Lindsey Kelk

Book 54:
Rules for girls(moving day) by Meg Cabot

Book 55: Sabrina the teenage witch

Book 56: Scrambled legs...2 parts

Book 57: Loved by PC Cast

Book 58: After you by Jojo Moyes

Book 59: Homecoming Cathy Kelly

Hyderabad trip: finding my way (part 1)

This is in continuation to the post "escape". For a while I thought this would be the escape from stress, daily worries as they kept getting piled up. And in some ways, it was. Though in some ways it also exhausted while creating an entirely new journey.

Finding my way, literally

This journey started very differently from others. It was less organized. I packed light, too light it turned out! I got late for my flight and just made it in the nick of time. There was none of the usual time to hangout at the airport. Yes, I love planes and airports. I would stroll, windowshop and eat. And pick a good book. Well, this time I just entered and rushed to board. As a result I was also too late for the window seat, another almost norm for me. Well, I adapted, rushed and got into the plane, relieved just not to miss it. I peeked at the window, absorbing views, got out a packed book, ordered some snacks and got into my flight mode. There's something so blissful about eating while watching the clouds, even it is instant noodles and instant tea. Well, here's the weirdness, I actually enjoy instant meals and even instant tea even when options are available! And of course, a good book can accompany just about anything.

Upon landing, the struggle and observations started parallely. I had expected this to be a kind of normal trip...with a flight and a busy city. Compared to the previous conference in Mandi, this was expected to be a breeze. Except that it was breeze which I experienced! The first thing I realized was it was going to be much colder than I had anticipated or packed for. The next was rocks, everywhere, of all shapes, sizes and color.  All the way from the airport. It is what forms the picture of Hyderabad for me. The big rocks, almost cave like structures. With flowers surrounding them.  Water bodies coming and going. It all presented a quaint picture, as if from a different era.

The next was Paradise biryani, just as I gazed at it, the driver abruptly stopped and dropped me off at the wrong hotel, despite my protestations! Maybe I should have heeded when he asked to talk to over the phone for directions. At that time I had thought "who needs to ask directions in the time of google maps?"  Or maybe it all started when even locating the taxi stall took so much time.

Well then, it was a journey for my map and I. Seems there a lots of Oyo's everywhere, even on a single street. Luggage in one hand, google map in another, I walked the busy street of Gachibowli. And again. And resorted to asking people. Noone seemed to know the existence of this place! Finally I turned to a dark alley with misgivings, got more directions, turned another dark alley and ..lo and behond...it was there. What a welcoming sight from within!

I got into the room and ordered tea. Missed the kettle and its welcoming instant tea to my taste. Shivered. Closed the ac and fans which they seem to turn on just to show you that switches work. Realized I had in fact packed too lightly for this cold, struggled with a stubborn wifi and fell asleep with the thought that "this may not be easy as it seemed".

Well,  this was part 1. This series has more to follow given time, hopefully :)

November booklist

Book 48: Blubber by Judy Blume
Rating: 3
A light reread.

Book 49: Princess Diaries (Princess in love)
Rating 3.5
A light reread.

Book 50: Turtles all the way down by John Green
Rating 4.5

Not so much for the plot or story but for all the words. Such perfect and thought provoking sentences!

Book 51: I heart Paris by Lindsey Kelk
Rating: 3.5
The story is interesting, light, the pace is right. But it doesn't do justice to the title. There is not enough about Paris. I heart Vegas caught the spirit of Vegas in a much better manner than this does for Paris.

Book 52: Speedpost by Shobha De
Rating: 4.5
An amazing book. Letters ftom Shobha De to her children. As a child, I enjoyed reading this book as a guide to understand the generation gap. And now, as a mother myself, it's come round an entire cycle now. It now gives a new perspective of the limited time we have as parents to actually enjoy and cherish our children's childhood and take care of them.

Book 53:
I heart Vegas by Lindsey Kelk
Rating: 4
A good reread.

Book 54:
Rules for girls(moving day) by Meg Cabot
Rating:3.5
A light, fun book.

It's easy to fear

An attempt at quick poetry for WOW!
"This weekend, we would want you to Write A Poem Using These Words – Fear, Ready, Wide, Tie, Will. This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda."
I might have missed it by a minute, but here's the entry

It's easy to fear losing all that is dear
It's easy to look far and wide
And not tie oneself to a fixed goal, a fixed life
What's tough is to be ready for change,
To risk all for a new horizon
One needs the will of iron
A heart full of grit
And foolhardiness even if just a bit

But jump you must only if you must
Risk only if it holds true to self
And not just because it glitters in the distance like a pretty pearl, a closed shell

This blogpost was selected as WOW post

It's easy to fear

An attempt at quick poetry for WOW!

It's easy to fear losing all that is dear
It's easy to look far and wide
And not tie oneself to a fixed goal, a fixed life
What's tough is to be ready for change,
To risk all for a new horizon
One needs the will of iron
A heart full of grit
And foolhardiness even if just a bit

But jump you must only if you must
Risk only if it holds true to self
And not just because it glutters in the distance like a pretty pearl, a closed shell

December booklist

Book 55: Sabrina the teenage witch
Rating 3.5
Light and fun

Book 56: Scrambled legs...2
Rating 4
An old favourite. It was hood it after years.

Book 57: Loved by PC Cast
Rating 4
A continuation to a much loved series. This brought some twists while maintaining the continuity of the older characters.

Book 58: After you by Jojo Moyes
Rating 4.5
The sequel to "Me before you" . Such a touching, fast paced book with such well placed emotions. The perfect sequel to a book which had been left at such a tough end. Can't wait for the next in the series.

Book 59: Homecoming Cathy Kelly
Rating 4.5
A cosy, comfortable, book full of warmth. 

Life's priorities

Noone really knows when they would  cross their personal middleage mark. But after a while, we reach a threshold beyond which we feel a greater urge to do all the stuff that we planned out to do.

Companies set prorities at regular intervals and then kind of work around doing the best for the top priorities. Because everything can't be done and is not required to be done. Won't it be great if similar prorities could be set for life? But measurability becomes an issue. How does one measure what is more important in life? There is no maths, no formula, no fixed parameters. Is happiness a parameter? Is success another? Yet both of these are themselves subjective. How do we measure happiness or rather for what time period do we measure? If we are happy currently is that enough to focus on the moment? Or do we stall, forestall and prepare for a safer future which may or may not actually exist? Yet if it did, it would become present again. Or do we set about doing first what we would regret not doing the most if we realized we had limited time on earth?

Each of the above three has their own pros and cons and thus defines different ways of living. Maybe that is also true for different phases of life for the same person...
For now I would be more inclined towards first or third but would be interesting to get different opinions in this.....

How do we set about priorities?

Turtles all the way down

There are novels and then there are novels  which fantastic stories or plots. Yet others with seemingly ordinary plots but amazing words. The kind where you want sit with a highlighter or notepad to make a note of all the gems you come across. Well this was one of those. Words worth noting, remembering, discussing. Each of these can themselves be a fullfledged blog. Maybe I will add that someday but for now, here are gems. I may or may not agree with all of them but definitely find them worthwhile.

Man can do what he wills but he cannot will what he wills
....
Your life is a story told about you, not one that you tell
...
Anyone can look at you. It's quite rare to find someone who sees the same world as you see.
....
I don't like to throw the L word around, it's too good and rare a feeling to cheapen woth overuse.
...
True terror isn't being scared, it's not having a choice in the matter.
....
Whether it hurts is kind of irrelevant.
...
He who doesn't fear death,  dies only once.
....
The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. ~William James
...
I is the hardest word to define
....
Maybe you are what you can't not be
...
The thing is,when you lose someone, you realize you'll eventually  lose everyone
.....
The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity. ~Yeats
...
In love like a sea you drown in or a town you live in. You don't get to be in anything else, in friendship or in anger or in hope.
....
Reading someone's poetry is like seeing them naked
...
I enjoyed being with him in this nonphysical space, but I also felt the need to board up the windows of myself.
....
In 3 words, I can sum up everything I know about life. It goes on.  ~Robert Frost
...
Even the silence has a story to tell you.~ Woodson.
....
What I love about Science is that as you learn, you don't get answers. You just get better questions.
...
You can't let the light catch up with the present. Otherwise you'd forget.
...
In the best of conversations, you don't even remember what you talked about, only how it felt.
....
The most important part of the body isn't the brain or heart but the part that hurts.
...
"None of them work.
The other side....None of them have worked as yet".
....
It's turtles all the way down.
Like, the world is billions of years old and life is a product of the nucleotide mutation and everything. But the world is also the stories we tell about it.
...
I remember what I've imagined and imagine what I remember.
....
The problem with happy endings is that they're  either not really happy, or not really endings, you know. In real life, some things better and some things get worse. And then eventually you die.

The other perspective:

You pick your endings and your beginnings. You get to pick the frame. Maybe you don't choose what's in the picture but you decide on the frame.
.....
I get nothing lasts. But why do I have to miss everybody so much.

To be alive is to be missing.
....
Nobody ever says goodbye
unless they want to see you again....

Escape

We all feel the need to escape sometimes. All of us have different points of escape. For some, it is the regular places like home or workplace. For some, or others in different situations, it may not be the regular places but some other physical place where one is at peace. Sometimes it's not a physical space but some other point of escape...a call to a friend, book, movie or some other activity. A holiday.
It kind of depends on what we are escaping from. Some routine, people near us, some task or some situtation. Sometimes it's just ourselves. And then the escape place itself can get kind of lost.
Maybe that's when we go off to "find" ourselves.

Finding your way in this wilderness called life

Sometimes you are shoved in a direction about which you know nothing. You march ahead based on past experience and instinct. You falter, stumble and  get up. You may pause, wondering what would be right. Suddenly you may realize you know what is generally right but don't know what is right in different situations or paths. You may just follow a direction which you like and have followed earlier only realize you don't know the entire way. When one is following, it is not necessary to know the entire way. But when you are alone in a path or suppossed to show the way, it becomes essential. Sometimes you may ask the way randomly and get more lost. You realise that all people don't know the way or the path where you want to head. You realize you even have to be selective about whom or where to ask the way. You can't follow all paths. You may follow a sense of direction where you feel a basic confidence. But somewhere down the road, ultimately you have to chart out your own detailed way. It may get you lost at times, you may be unsure at times but slowly, as familiar landmarks get crossed, one learns how to create the way. You never stop making mistakes but slowly, you learn to trust your instinct and look ahead more than around. Because you know even if you get lost, you can look for a new way. Of course it helps when you know you can still ask for the approximate way when greatly lost. It gives you faith that you would never be really be lost as you embark the journey of exploration.

What strikes you first when you read the above scenario? It can depict different life situations: new parenting, any kind of relationship, changes in career or roles. It could also be a new hobby or even literally exploring a new place. Anything new requires a certain amount of exploration.

Guess the song

When a new project dominates your life such that hearing songs makes you relate to situations funnily....here is one slightly exaggerated version.... lets just say one uses poetic license...but is basically the translation of a song twisted around this project..

Neither is this a gain, nor is this a loss, (ok so that would actually be incorrect !:))
Whether you are active or not, you kind of remain there
You start my days, you end my nights
Don't know why..
But you do...you do...
The Vision ( cvip) is all yours, the calls are all yours
Why you gained this dominance
The "me" time vanished somewhere
Why did it happen...
Whereever I go, you kind of remain there
Through messages, mails and calls,
you kind of remain there
Don't know why
But you do...you do...
During activity and during silence
With teams and during alone time
You kind of  remain there...
Don't know why
But you do...you do...

October Booklist

Book 45: One Minute Manager by Kenneth Blanchard & Spenser Johnson
Rating: 4
An interesting read. A first of this kind of book for me. But it kept the interest. Concise, yet conveys its ideas very clearly. Ideas themselves are sensible and useable.

Book 46: Surprise me by Sophie Kinsella
Rating: 3.5
Falls a little short of the usual Sophie Kinsella books but still holds the readers' intetesr for the entire duration.

Book 47: Malory towers (next gen series) by Enid Blyton.
Rating: 4
Well if one is writing a children's book, there is no better series to use for research. This has the advantage of freshness, similar characters, newer stories.

The 3am club

"The 3am people remain the same, exactly that whenever given a chance"

This is a thought which I found validated recently. After a tiring day, when my baby slept, I was alone at home and could have chosen to get my quota of the week's sleep and rest. Instead I became the younger version of myself whose days would never get completed by midnight and would always need just a little bit longer before going to bed. This night I watched reruns of old sitcoms, read and wrote in my diary and just gave way to thoughts and imaginations. Nothing that couldn't be done the next day ( being Sunday). But there is such a peace during that 3am hour. When mostly noone is awake, there is no rush and no real tasks to be done. The best of creativity sprouts so much easier then when the mind finds its peace. Time kind of slows down and more gets done in those 2 hours than maybe in an entire day. Things just strike sooner!

Maybe the earlyrisers feel the same way about early mornings but morning would ultimately involve the opening of a day, getting into the rush soon while 3am involves the time before closing of the day...when one is absolutely free for a while.

As the week progressed, a week of shifts,  with just myself and baby at nights, I realised I continued the 3am routine. Somedays I was a little extra tired, most days it was still OK. I realised peopled routines and solitary routines vary. Sometimes you need regularisation just by example to follow usual life norms. Because we 3am'ers don't and can't somehow. Not on our own. Not by default.

September Booklist

Book 41: Allegiant
By Veronica Roth
Rating: 3.5
The series has many unexpected twists but it becomes much darker than expected and somehow seems less in sync with the rest of the series.

Book 42: The Babysitters' Club ( 2 books in the series)
By Ann M. Martin
Rating: 4
Light, fun and good read anytime anyday.

Book 43: Nancy Drew books ( 5 books)
* The emerald eyed cat mystery
* En garde 
* Swami's Ring
* Ice cream soda
* Intruder
(Nancy Drew by Carolyn Keene )
Rating: 4
Nancy Drew books are always fun, light and good reads. The best kind of stressbusters.  Good to read when life is rushing and there is less time or energy to focus on something heavy.

Book 44:  Here's to you Rachel Robinson by Judy Blume
Rating: 3.5
A sequel to an old favourite. It gives an interesting perspective not only to teenage life but also to family life and friendships....the weird and the wonderful!

Life's queries

Sometimes it feels like life should have a master  answer book where we find answers, actual true ones to each of our queries.

What is right varies by opinion and situation of course but sometimes one just wants to be validated or be given a direction. A map with a big HERE marked. "This is where you are and this where you are suppossed to go". Of course we may still not follow but it would good to know what is right.
So here are some random questions:

1. Where does selfcare end and selfishness start? How much individuality is OK for parents to have? How does one know which side of the line one lies on.

2. In priorities, what is more important? What one does currently or how it impacts the future? Should we live in the moment or plan for the future? When and how does this vary?

3.  Everyone talks about work family balance. I would add a third factor to it...individuality. However, how often is that balance maintained? Mostly the pendulum just keeps swinging. It's not something to be chosen because both peak in their requirement at the same time. So it can't be a choice, each choice would involve some amount of regret. The question is, is it a necessary choice or a struggle of balance. Is there a third way?

4. Human nature is such that it wants to be quiet when there is too much chatter and yet when all is quiet, it gets eerie. Ok, even I don't know the question in this.

5. How do people know what they want in life. 5 years, 10 years. How does one know what is good will remain good. Or that it won't seem less good because another path was equally appealing. On equally appealing cases, how does one choose a single so as to not regret it later. When one goes along a path for long and gets diverted midway, what is to prevent them from wanting that path back again when it is too late. Is it too late ever? I guess it would be sometimes.

6. When we stretch ourselves a little, how do we know whether it will make us grow bigger or break us?

7. How does one know when one just needs to hold on a while and wait for things to get better and when needs to take action because waiting will not help.

8. When is it right to say a no? Is it actually right? Somehow my instinct is more towards a "no" to mostly all no situations. One approach is to say yes to life's experiences. Another is to say no because you are sure you only want certain experiences.

More than a post, this is just a collection of queries.
Maybe they are questions based on qhich we "Discover Life". Maybe when time is right, somehow we would just "know" the answers.

August booklist

Book 35: How to fall in love
By Cecelia Ahern
Rating: 4
A reread but a good one. Worth coming back to.

Book 36: Divergent
By Veronica Roth
Rating: 4.5
An amazing book with refreshing concepts. It's fast paced enough for the reader to not let go and enthralling enough to jump to the next book in the series.

Book 37: My not so perfect life
By Sophie Kinsella
Rating: 4
Another worth rereading book. It talks about the difference between the depicted and actual worlds in the age of social media and its pitfalls.

Book 38-39: Babysittersclub..number 81-82
By Ann M. Martin
Light, fun read.

Book  40: Insurgent
By Veronica Roth
Rating: 4
The series is well carried forward ahead.

ज़रूरी नहीं

हर सज़ा के लिये कुसूरवार होना जरूरी नहीं है,
हर खुशी के लिये किसी  मुस्कराहट का उमीदवार होना ज़रूरी नहीं है ।

हर रौशनी के लिये सुर्य की किरनों का हकदार होना ज़रूरी नहीं है,
जिन्दगी के उतार चढ़ाव में, हर मोड़ के लिये तैयार  होना ज़रूरी नहीं है ।

Translation:

It is not necessary (but happens)

It is not necessary for every punishment to be due to some direct fault
It is not necessary for every happiness to have ownership of a smile.

For (receiving) every light, it is not necessary to be entitled to sun rays,
In the ups and downs of life, it is not necessary to be ready for every turn.

Explanation:
Everything that we experience or feel need not necessarily be sourced back to ourselves, our actions, reactions or even our own emotions.

Conversations or the lack of them

There are different types of conversations we have with different people. Most conversations, unless urgent, are a kind of catching. In some cases it could be for years, months, weeks, days or even just hours. Some are actually conversations while others just fizzle away.

The conversations after years and hours are specific cases. But here's the thing about the rest. They may or may not last beyond the first two sentences. Here's why. Consider the most common scenario...

A1 talks to A2 ....
A1: Hi, how are you? How's life?
A2: Hi, I am fine..all is good.
What about you?
A3: All is good here also.

And the conversation  or any chance of a meaningful conversation is bound to end a few minutes after that. Just because of a few missing words. What A1 actually means is "what is the most interesting aspect of your life since our last conversation?". Since A1 misses asking, the meaning is either not conveyed to A2 or more likely the inclination to talk is not conveyed.  A2, as a result, closes down. The other possibility is where A2 continues with the knowledge and assumption about A1's inclination and continues with the conversation as if the right questions had been asked and shares relevant details, experiences, viewpoints.
A sharing which starts at one end is likely to continue at the other end.

Of course this assumes there is an inclination to talk on both sides which has not been clearly conveyed.  Lets thus stop asking "how's life" or at least replying by an "all ok". At least regularly.  Lets take our pick from the plethora of life's interesting topics!

The guilt of the bystander

I am the bystander
I see all, I hear all
But in actions I did stall

Sometimes you see an unfairness
And keep quiet you do
Sometimes you analyze and realise
Your control over the situation is none

So what does one do there?
Close eyes to what is true?
Or speak up without fear
Knowing changes it brings about are none
Or cloud eyes with guilt and tears
While actions you take are still none...

Sometimes there is a need to take a stand
Just to speak up, say aloud  that " 'tis was wrong"
Knowing it doesn't solve matters
For in absense of it at all
One experiences the guilt of the bystander

One wonders how valid it is...
Is it the same as the wrongdoer?
Or less simply for lack of action?
Or nullified for lack of possible result of any said action?
The guilt that eats away the bystander

July booklist

Book 31: Granny Dan by Danielle Steel
Rating: 4.5
A fabulous story which emcompasses different aspects of life: ambition, love, strife, war and family and maintaining balance. It so well depicts that life goes on and it should, no matter the circumstances.

Book 32: Who moved my cheese?
By Dr. Spencer Johnson
Rating: 4.5
Came back to it recently in an hour of need and it was yet again as helpful. Sometimes we need to go back to basics and understand that we have to accept changes, especially when that is the only actionable possibility.

Book 33:  The murder of roger ackroyd Agatha Christie
Rating: 4
A chilling one! The end was actually completely unexpected.

Book 34: Medical Romance : A family Christmas by Josie Metcalfe
Rating: 3.5
A calm, soothing everyday kind of romance novel.

Does writing also come with age limits?

Ok, here I am actually looking for answers. Does writing, especially poetry writing peak and ebb at certain ages? Does poetry ....free flowing only come with unrest? Maybe once you get out of the typical teenage unrest, it ebbs off? Or maybe it just requires more nurturing after that, just like any other skill.

Do words flow in all ages? I recently noticed that I seem to go back to, agree with and appreciate old poems more than write new ones. Ideally one is not suppossed to like ones own old writings and we don't for all cases but yes I do like to look back at them. Or is it all I can do because new words are difficult to flow?  New poetry is difficult to come even when inspired, even though words are not. Maybe there are stages in life to write and stages when just reads. A third would not be a possibility a writer or a reader could imagine with ease.

Does daily life make one too mechanical for it? Can one become too busy living life to observe and record its vagrants?  Or maybe this just a writer's block speaking...lets see.
What I do know if it can't go away completely, words do come back though the medium and level of inspiration may vary.

Movies and reviews

Besides other resolutions, a fun one was to watch more good movies.  So here are two which required that I actually take notes while watching them:

Dear Zindagi

The movie was interesting though it dragged a little. But it had several vital lessons and dialogues. Some interesting quotes are given below:

Sometimes we only choose a difficult path because we feel it's necessary to choose it get to the important stuff, while its ok to choose the easy option.

If we understand ourselves then it doesn't matter what other people think about it

Genius is not the person who has answers to questions but one who has patience to arrive at all answers

Every broken thing can be repaired

To feel safe, one has to remove all fears

The chair creeks when you really like someone and can't do anything to do about it. So many chairs we see before buying so why not for a life partner

One needs to cry freely to laugh freely

Don't let the past blackmail your present to ruin a beautiful future

We are all our teachers in the school of life

Genius is about knowing when to stop

Hichki

An amazing movie. I wasn't able to understand the negative reviews for this one.  It had many vital lessons and in a way they were depicted throughout the movie but here are some interesting dialogues besides the rest:

Life does not take exam subjectwise

Chalk: a little change at the top makes it easy to use.  That's all we require, a little change from why to why not

Who was your favourite teacher in school.....do u know their salary?

TTT: Life, time and random stuff

Time for some new short stories. New instances of Terribly Tiny Tales or more like Tragically tiny ones. No theme this time or maybe time itself is the theme or life as a function of time.

#TTT1: They were to about make an emergency landing in the sea. There was one less lifejacket. His. As he wondered about looking for one, there it was with the postit "happy birthday :)" followed by the sound of a splash.  As he looked, there, down below, a speck of a new swimmer started the struggle against the mighty sea.

#TTT2: She reflected on the time and money spent on antigeing creams and agony and fear of white hair and wrinkles as the doctor told her that she didn't have enough time left to age.

#TTT3: She didn't know how to say the sad goodbye. So she didn't. 15 years later they still say the happy ones after regular phone calls and rendezvous.

The inevitable changes

There are changes and then there are inevitable changes, to which we resign ourselves. I guess it's easy to call yourself adjustable to changes when its just changes that affect you externally. Like the seasonal changes, illness which comes and goes and changes in your daily tasks. There can be changes which seem smaller than these but which affect you internally.  An example, as an only child I would cry when certain guests/family/ friends left. It was an inevitable change. If people come to visit you, they will go eventually but that didn't change the fact that the little me didn't want that. All around there would be smiles at the childishness and yet the process would get repeated often enough for a few years.  I guess some parts of us just don't grow up. And it has more to do with inevitable changes, where you can't even hope. "The Secret" holds the theory that whatever you really desire, you can make happen. But that fails for these changes because logically you know they will happen/have happened such that can't be reversed do you aren't able to even wish them away. Like after learning to walk, after a while we lose the ability to crawl well. Some examples:

1. Death: when death takes someone away, you can't wish it away. There is nothing anyone can do and it brings with it a hopelessness due to the unreachability. That is why it is feared.

2. Passing out of school/college/higher studies: Yes, this is a very unique form of inevitable change with mostly a fixed duration. You know a year before that it's going happen and it will change your life forever. It is exciting, yet a part of us wishes we could just remain in our cocooned phase. That we could hang out with friends forever discussing "what we will do in life" rather than knowing that that itself is one of the most beautiful phases of life.  We almost never get a chance for those carefree discussions again.  It's like, in the words of a protogonist of a forgetable movie with an unforgetable dialogue...when you realize that the people you meet everyday you would now talk to on birthdays and meet maybe every 3 months to reminsce the "good old days" and that too if things are good.

3. All the other inevitable changes in life that you are logically convinced will happen and yet you don't want them to. They may make sense. They may not. It doesn't matter to the child within who only wishes the good phases to last a little longer, for people to stop going away/ stop changing. It's a little like finishing the last chapter of a really good book series. You feel empty. You are glad you read it, yet you wish it could have lasted a little while longer. Or when one dream is fulfilled and next is not out of the pipeline. It's the journey we enjoy, the journey we live for. End results are but pauses to the next journey. Yet some journeys are better than others. Some infinities, you wish to be bigger than others.

June Booklist

June booklist

Book 30: Agatha Christie  ( at Bertram's Hotel)
Rating:3
Below the usual Agatha Chrisyie standards.  The end didn't justify the twists and turns.

Book 29: Nancy Drew series: (Green with Envy)
Rating: 3.5
It was disappointing to know that the story was to be continued in the next part and left the readers hanging but the current seemed very much incomplete in itself unlike the books generally are in series.

Book 28: The Red Pyramid (The Kane Chronicles) by Rick Riordan
Rating: 4
A fascinating mix of Greek and Egyptian mythology.

Book 27: The  Demigod Files( Heros of Olympus) Rick Riordan
Rating: 4
An interesting mix of Demigod stories.

Book 26: Koi Good News by Zareen Khan
Rating: 3.5
It was supposed to be humurous but turned put to be less so.
Book 25: The private lives of Pippa Lee
By Rebecca Miller
Rating: 3
It was interesting to how the current events are affected by past inicidents.

Book 24: Double Act by Jacqueline Wilson
Rating: 3.5
Intetesting, fun and light.

Relationships as components of a house

The people in our lives can be compared to different components of a house. Some components form the core interiors and are vital for its sustainance while some are situated just outside as extensions. Then there are others which are further apart but have paths charted out to reach them.

For now I will only discuss the interior. The walls, roofs and the base. The base belongs to family and ancestors, it is what holds the whole house together. They will almost never leave you and no matter how hard you jump on them. But jump too hard and they will crack and those cracks will hurt you as much as them if not more.

The walls are friends and certain family members sometimes whom you talk to regularly, where you bounce off ideas, have fun together, where you bring out your confusions and frustrations. They create your boundaries and keep you safe within. They prevent you from going astray. There are generally many walls, some closer than others, within the interior of the house.  Walls are somewhat dynamic in nature, they may change places. An inner wall may get transformed to an outer one with changes in life but it's still kind of nice to have them around

The roofs are slightly different. They are people you come in regular contact with, who support, guide you, share good and bad times with you but never in a very active kind of manner. They shelter you against storms but not like umbrellas which you have to hold on to. The roofs can sometimes be taken granted. Sometimes it's just enough to know they are there. That is why often you only realise the true value of roofs when some roof goes off or is removed. Suddenly you realise you need to weather so much on your own which you never had to earlier.

The interiors need to cherished, maintained and protected. They all have their own role, each uniquely vital but only if we make sure they maintained and continue to have a belongness to us, the house.

Then come the exteriors. People with whom we may have a shared a couple of good conversations maybe in a lifetime, people who seemed like friends but fadec away through the test of time . They belong to other houses and structures but are reachable from our house. There is a path from ours to theirs.

The paths to exteriors last while we want them to.

In this world, we all have our own unique houses to live in which makes life joyful and interesting.

A year later...

It's been a year at my current working place.  Labor day, an interesting day to start work! The first year at any place after PhD. Firsts are always memorable if not special.  Well this was certainly special with its plethora of experiences. During PhD I often felt I was in a candyland where you are tempted to try all before picking your packet. Well here that was actually possible.

I wrote this post earlier for the first 6 months so won't repeat its content but yes the rest of the year followed suite mostly. Here are some other observations about industry life in general based on experiences throughout the year.

It's a very dynamic domain. If you are looking for absolute stability,  you are at the wrong place. For this is an everchanging place be it on terms of work, responsibilities or the people and hence the culture. However, if you can accept that growth requires changes and thus any place which is pacing towards growth will be dynamic, you may even enjoy it. If it's exciting to try new stuff for you, you will enjoy. Of course some changes do take more time for adjustment than others but the key is to accept rather than resist. Go with the flow.

I mentioned last time that some places become a way of life. I still agree. But it's very important to define not just physically but also in mind the work and home time. It's very important to switch off from time to time to be recharged and happy in what you are doing. One shouldn't feel guilty or hesitant about that. And places where you have those opportunities are the good ones.

In terms of people, I have heard more than often that there are no friends in workplace. Comments such as "don't look to make friends" and you have to be professional at all times and never be emotional or take things personally are often heard though I don't agree entirely. Then there is that theory of "people management" where the people are asked to be warm and friendly. It integrates diplomacy, kindness and genuine friendliness into a murky mix called professionalism.  It can be a bit disorienting in the beginning. But it's easier to be nice than not to be so it's better when the culture encourages friendliness rather than extra strictness. Of course timelines don't exactly encourage long discussions unlike college times. Maybe those were easy times for friendships where one has a lot of time to just talk. But I still feel friendships are people dependent more than environment. For friendships, a good test can be to see how many people you interact with when you don't have to, whom you would keep in touch with if you changed workplaces. Those will be mostly very few.

Speaking specifically, here the environment itself has been good, as close to relaxed lab environment as one could expect where there is friendliness, teamspirit, goodwill and a kind of lightness which itself is very rare from what I have generally heard.  Sometimes that's also enough. 

Well this has been my jumble of thoughts for this first year. An everchanging yet exciting  and enriching time so far.  Lets see what the journey holds ahead!

Booklist for April and May

Here's the list for April and May. April was probably the lowest reading month in a long time. When life around you gets complex and thought provoking, you look for lighter reads. So I abandoned a couple of books and switched to a couple of lighter novels. Here's the list till now from Book 16 to 22. I am planning to add at least 1-2 more to this list before the end of this month:

Book 16
Elizabeth's secret diary...Sweet Valley series...By Francine Pascal
Rating: 4.5
Light and fun, intriguing yet never disappointing,  full of childhood memories. This series does justice to nostalgia. I must have collected over 30 books of this series so far.

Book 17:
Secret at Mystic Lake
Nancy Drew diaries
By Carolyn Keene
Rating: 3.5
A normal  Nancy Drew book.

Book 18:
Sleeping Murder by Agatha Christie
Rating: 3.5
An interesting one time read. But forgettable.

Book 19:
The bomb girls by Daisy Styles
Rating 4.5
An exceptional book about women  who are forced to work towards creation of bombs during World War. It gives an insight into the life of people during that era and yet how in any situation, one finds their comfort zone with close ones even if that is within a place that blows up and leads to loss of life and limb. Everyday life continues hoping for a better tomorrow. Some get it while others get sacrificed midway. Definitely worth a reas.

Book 20: The Perfect Holiday : by Cathy Kelly
Rating: 3.5
A light, fun read.

Book 21:Heidi by Johanna Spyri
Rating: 4
A classic in its truest sense. A book wortg coming back to again and again and one which offers new insights each time.

Book 22: The woman who went to bed for a year
By Sue Townsend
Rating: 3.5
A unique, interesting concept which captures the readers' interest. This interest is sustained till midway the book then it tapers off as it stops leading anywhere. The plot seems to get lost midway onwards somehow. For once I couldn't even figure out what the author wanted to convey by writing the book.

----------------------------

Book 23: The short second life of Bree Tanner by Stephenie Meyer
Rating: 3.5
A good synchronization with the existing Twilight Saga but lighter and not with as much attention to detail and emotion as the mentioned series. It's more like a character sketch than a detailed novel. But then maybe that's why it's a novella!

March Booklist

Book 10: One Suitable Girl by Chetan Bhagat
Rating: 4
An interesting time read. The struggles of an Indian girl towards finding a balance between success at work and personal life.

Book 11: The year I met you by Cecelia Ahern
Rating: 4
A book worth its words:
"Most people in life don't have to actively do anything to change us, they simply need to be."
"Miracles  only grow where you plant them"

Book 12: The girl on the train by Paula Hawkins
Rating: 3.5
An enthralling thriller with enough twists and turns to keep you hooked.

Book 13 Pollyanna by Eleanor H Porter
The original book about positivity. Will be adding a detailed blog about it separately.
Rating: 5

Book 14: Bone Magic by Yasmine Galenorn
Rating:4
A gripping story that takes the readers into lands of Fae, witches and vampires. Fantasy and normal family life combine to form a powerful series.  The only fallout...it leaves the reader hanging at the end for the next series. It leaves off right in the middle of intense developments! A series book should be such that not just satiates but also leaves room for more. But not completely satiate is somewhat like cheating the readers.

An interesting quote:
For whether we pledged ourselves to one person or to four, whether we were drawn to men or women or both, whether we walked the path of the priestess or the path of a witch  or a bookstore owner, life without passion was no life at all

Book 15
Jessica's secret diary...Sweet Valley series...By Francine Pascal
Rating: 4.5
Light and fun, intriguing yet never disappointing,  full of childhood memories. This series does justice to nostalgia. I must have collected over 30 books of this series so far.

A new guest arrives

Recently I came across an old poem which I wrote at the time of observing my first white hair.  At that time it only brought joy. Recently I again came across white hair, more in number this time but still equally pleasing, though with a tinge of nostalgia.
So here it is.....

I saw it first today
My step out of the road of yesterday
Childhood seems a thing of past
As I gaze at my first step to wisdom and experience alike
I thank God that with it I am now blessed 

Yes it’s my first white hair 
But I am not aghast; just with wonder do I stare
It seems a beauty by it’s very solitary nature
Blowing lightly it tells me age I will
And age with grace I will contrive

Soon a lot many will follow
Each denoting moments of joys and sorrow
Precious on its own, each is
For age brings with it gems of memories
To look back to and treasure

Black gives way to white so clear
As youth gives way to grace so dear
Uncertainty goes and peace resides
Lessons of love, forgiveness and faith we revise
As slowly we move towards the final abode

Women's Day : women as humans

This Women's Day I came across many messages celebrating women's days, appreciating women as mothers, sisters or daughters. Women as supporting men through thick and thin. This time I found them almost offensive. Women don't exist to support men. We are individuals with our dreams, wishes and goals. We have our own lives. Yes, we are a different species. We do generally have a stronger femine side. A side that makes us care deeper, cry louder, get weak in the knees, need to heart to heart conversations regularly and get touched deeply by small gestures. We may like bright colors, flowers and makeup. But we also have a stronger endurance and a fiery sense of protection for those close to us. Apart from that we are just individuals leading our lives. We may or may not multitask. We may or may not be self sacrificing in nature. We don't enjoy enduring hardships just like any other being. We may be completely introvert and quite or highly outspoken. We may or may not be organized. We can as easily be slovenly or lazy as not. We are all very different from each other.

We don't expect to be treated as weaker people but we do enjoy chivalry and politeness. We expect equality with a bit humanity and kindness. We expect to be celebrated for our achievements, hard work, sharp minds, talent and creativeness as much as for our compassion, softness and adjustability.

This women's day lets celebrate women for not just being great mothers, wives, sisters and daughters but also as friends, individuals to be treated with respect and professionals like great astronauts, doctors, engineers, teachers, researchers, sportswomen, defense personnel, writers and entrepreneurs. Lets also not forget the maids and other household help who have an equal right towards this day. This women's day, lets not thrive in a woman's ability to sacrifice. Lets stop expecting that. Lets celebrate women as people who work hard, play hard, get tired and may make mistakes and may need a break. A change, a smile and little bit of acknowledgement. That's what this day represents for most of us.

Women's Day : women as humans

This Women's Day I came across many messages celebrating women's days, appreciating women as mothers, sisters or daughters. Women as supporting men through thick and thin. This time I found them almost offensive. Women don't exist to support men. We are individuals with our dreams, wishes and goals. We have our own lives. Yes, we are a different species. We do generally have a stronger femine side. A side that makes us care deeper, cry louder, get weak in the knees, need to heart to heart conversations regularly and get touched deeply by small gestures. We may like bright colors, flowers and makeup. But we also have a stronger endurance and a fiery sense of protection for those close to us. Apart from that we are just individuals leading our lives. We may or may not multitask. We may or may not be self sacrificing in nature. We don't enjoy enduring hardships just like any other being. We may be completely introvert and quite or highly outspoken. We may or may not be organized. We can as easily be slovenly or lazy as not. We are all very different from each other.

We don't expect to be treated as weaker people but we do enjoy chivalry and politeness. We expect equality with a bit humanity and kindness. We expect to be celebrated for our achievements, hard work, sharp minds, talent and creativeness as much as for our compassion, softness and adjustability.

This women's day lets celebrate women for not just being great mothers, wives, sisters and daughters but also as friends, individuals to be treated with respect and professionals like great astronauts, doctors, engineers, teachers, researchers, sportswomen, defense personnel, writers and entrepreneurs. This women's day, lets not thrive in a woman's ability to sacrifice. Lets stop expecting that. Lets celebrate women as people who work hard, play hard, get tired and may make mistakes and may need a break. A change, a smile and little bit of acknowledgement. That's what this day represents for most of us.

Joys and pains of travelling in metros

A while ago I read an article which discussed the pitfalls of long commute and then another about metro etiquettes. Travelling over 3 hours each day, both articles seemed to urge me to express my experiences in metro: the good and the bad.

The good: It gives you time.
The bad: It eats up your time.

Yes, metro does both. It takes away hours from your life which could have bern put yo better use, the foremost being time with family or time relaxing or time for some enrichment or learning. But on the other hand, it does give you some snatches of time for activities where you may not devote time at all otherwise.

The good: It gives you a flavour of the public.
The bad: That flavour may leave a bad taste.

You get to know a lot of general stuff, be in through the loud conversations happening or through just observation of public for latest fashion trends! While travelling cramped together, you may get subjected to the  hostile and irritating sides of people very easily, not to mention different variations of personal hygiene!

The bad: It tires you out.
The good: Well? You tend to get a little fitter standing and stetching for so long!

Yes, it tires out. It's exhausting if you don't get a seat in a long journey, especially in the evenings. A few minutes closer to peak hours leads to a good 20 mins delay in lines and metro and then you are rewarded by the jampacked metro to squeeze into. People are known to lose weight after travelling in metro for a few months however that will not work as a good enough motivation when you are elbowed constantly and find people's hair smack into your face or when you lose fear of falling because there is absolutely not an inch to turn let alone fall. What helps then is knowing why you are travelling. A good enough reason to reach both ways will get you through journey.

If you DO plan travel a chunk of time in metro, here are some dos and donts which may aid in making the journey a little more fun, a little more comfortable.

Dos:
1. Read: Carry a book. A good book will let you escape from it all like nothing else.
2. Listen to music: Carry a good set of earphones. Close your eyes and listen to some soothing music. Another good mode of escape.
3. Lend an ear to public conversations: It's not evesdropping if people are talking loudly right near your eye. You are justified in hearing. You will hear people talking about common issues and realize how we all run through some threads of similarity. It will keep you grounded. Hearing conversations across ages also aids in gaining better perspective and adds to your wisdom.
4 .Observe the various trends: From clothes, shoes, bags, makeup and hairstyles to any other latest trend, you will be see it all! Metro is great for trend browsing!
5. Sleep: Even a half hour nap will leave you refreshed and take you a long way through the rest of the day. If it's a long journey then definitely leave some time for resting.
6. Write/blog: With good connectivity and smartphones, it's easy to write while travelling. In fact for almost a year now, a majority of my blogs have been written in metro.
7. Catch up on social media: If the connectivity is good, this is the best time for social updates.
8. Try for a direct metro (if possible): Even if it means a little longer wait, try for a direct one if possible. Also watch out near the stations where you can get a seat.

Don'ts

1. Carry out in depth telephonic conversations: People will not appreciate the constant disturbance and irregularity of network and it will leave grumpy and agitated trying to hold a proper conversation. Don't give such low priority to quality conversations. Short quick phone calls may work through.
2. Play games/ watch videos: Give your eyes and brain a break. But to each, their own. I prefer reading and writing, some may prefer gaming and may not find it tiring  to stare at a small screen or a even a means of losing time.
3. Work/check mails: The one phase of time when I checked mails and worked in metro, I was left exhausted and irritable. It made me realize the value of this metro time.

February Book list

Continuing the #BrunchBookChallenge, here's the February Book List. So far so good and now it's time for some Indian authors for the coming months. Would love some good recommendations for the same.

Feblist:

Book 5: Thinking of you by Jill Mansell
Rating 3.5
Brief Review:
A light romance mingled with the lives of the protagonist and her daughter. It gives no deep lessons but is a page turner and quietly enjoyable. Good for holidays and travelling.

Book 6: Sleeping Arrangements
Sophie Kinsella as Madeline Wickam
Rating: 3.5
Brief Review
Again a light read. Very different from all other Sopihe Kinsella books. It has less of humour and is basically a romance but family story. Good, wholesome but lacks that exciting spark that is usually present in Sophie Kinsella books.

Book 7: Chicken Soup for the Soul (Reader's Choice) by Jack Canfield
Rating: 4.5
The perfect book to read or gift. It has a gem of a story for every occasion/personality. This 20th Anniversary Edition collected impactful stories from different Chickrn Soup books and then shared stories of their impact!

Book 8: The railway children by E. Nesbit
Rating: 4
A missed old classic. It renews my faith that some books are ageless. It's freshness touches all hearts equally as it deals with everyday trials and tribulations of  three children.
An intesresting quote: "I think everyone in the world is friends if you can only get them to see you don't want to be un-friends"

Book 9: The Dare Game ( A Tracy Beaker Story) by Jacqueline Wilson
Rating: 4
And old childhood series that has retained its flavor over the years.

January Book list

This year with its new resolutions seems pretty interesting. One of those is the #BrunchBookChallenge . This year it is actually challenging with the aim of reading of 50 books in this year. 10 are required to be by Indian authors or based on India in some way. Well, I go a step further. I mean to also add a short review for each case. So here's the January list. So far so good!

Book 1
Best of Friends by Cathy Kelly
4 stars.
Like any other Cathy Kelly book, this one is perfect for comfort during winters and offers a slight sweetness to all situations and emotions.  A nice, feel-good kind of book about four middle aged women who are friends and their coping mechanisms for life's surprises.

Book 2
The Wish List by Jane Costello
Rating : 4 stars
As the protagonist inches towards the age of 30, she comes across an old wishlist. It surprises her to see how little of it she has achieved. She thus sets about achieving all goals by the time she turns 30...in the next 6 months and this book takes us along her in her adventures. Through light comedy this book peeks into the reality vs wishes state in all of us. The  wishes are a mix: some common, some exciting that any of us could have. It subtly explores the concept of stability vs novelty. It intrigues but still manages to  leave the readers satisfied.

Book 3
The Scandal (Theodore Boone ) by John Grisham
Rating: 3 stars
It was the first Theodore Boone I read and although I have loved reading John Grisham, this book didn't do justice to his consistency. It was a fast flowing, good to read book but it was so fast that it just halted to a stop in the end. When it ended suddenly, it was clear that though it was a  good read, it missed the solid plot and sound storyline that John Grisham is famous for.  One reason could be that the protagonist, a 13 year old lawyer in case, had no real role. He wasn't victim. He didn't solve the case. He was more of an obsevant. For stories to touch the readers, one would want the protagonist to have a bigger chunk. But it was still enough for me to try another Theodore Boone just to see how the series is.

Book 4
High School Musical: Poetry in motion by Alice Alfonsi
Rating: 3
Brief Review: The first in HSM series that I read. I may not be the right judge for this book by the title. However, there are books that surpass ages and infact take you back to diffferent stages of your life as you experience the life of a protagonist. This was a bit too mild for that but fun, lighthearted otherwise.

Normalcy is underrated

Well the New Year resolutions are made. 29 of them in totality.  The phase to follow them has started. Before making them, I came across many articles focussing on "reinventing your life" or just "breaking the routine", not falling into a rut etc. But I beg to differ. This may be good for someone who has been "settled" into the same routine for say the last 5 or 10 years. For the people in their 30s, that itself is something most would not have experienced. Family, career, friends, settlement, stability...they all take time.  And when we get it, we deserve some time to savour it. Life itself brings so many changes that no two months, let alone two years are alike. Yes, days can be similar! So why not cherish the stability when you get it.  Yes, it's still good to try new stuff but every year need not be the year when you choose to change your entire life! Instead, sometimes it's just enough to have just a couple of challenging unique goals and a few more that just make you feel good.  It's another day of normalcy that people long for when they run out of time. Don't take normalcy for granted. Here's how:

*Go to work, come home, have a cuppa with your family and watch that favourite TV show...without guilt.

*Spend some weekends just lazing about.

*Savour that familiarity of environment both when you go to work and when come back.

*Value meeting the same set of people everyday. They are all currently a part of your life to some extend.

*Value your family and their familiar habits.

*Cherish good health.

*Cherish your children....they will never remain the same.

*Cherish the friends you make in all phases of life.

* Cherish all impactful conversations and discussions.

*Cherish your normal moments because one never knows when they give way to trying times. What man proposes, God disposes.

Here's to a year of stability!

Tragically tiny tales: Life's hits and misses

#ttt 1: The smoker took a break every two hours for a smoke and the breather for a breath of fresh air. Thanks to the city, both came back with equally smoke choked lungs.

#ttt 2: They all struggled and competed to avoid ageing. Cancer aided some in succeeding.

#ttt 3: She cursed her luck for missing the flight, while far off the passengers gave thanks for surviving the burning flight. All but one safety jacket had worked.

New Year resolutions

As the New Year begins and previous ends, it gives us an opportunity to analyze the year gone by. What we planned, what worked, what didn't and whys. What we still want to try. And the new stuff. I am a firm believer of new year resolutions and take it as a roadmap for the year ahead. There have been many yeats when I fulfill my entire list. The previous year, however, I followed a little more than 50% of them.  The discrete todos happened  but the personal improvement suffered. For example,  I could have been more patient. Or maybe it was the best I could do with all the changes.

Here's how I create goals. We all have different aspects of lives and ideally need goals for each of them: health, family, professional growth,  personal nature, child specfic goals ( the relation of a parent and child is very unique and requires its own list), some extra curricular goals, some general todos and some "just fun" ones. They are generally a set of 20-30 resolutions for me. Not all such goals are equally shareable but just to be kept and worked upon. This kind of list doesn't get formed in a day. It requires around a week's reflection, at least for me. And I start that around now. I complete my goals list formation around the first or second week of Jan and then strive towards following them. Those initial 10-15 days, when many resolutions falter, are my buffer days.

Today I created the sharable list amongst some of the possible goals. Here they are:

1. Go up on a hot air balloon
2. Play more with my child
3. Visit a new place.
4. Be more aware of news
5. Make healthier choices...would be further segmented.
6. More tea and long talks with all close ones. Well, this is a new addition and is optional because it won't be completely dependent on me.

As the new lists are created, lets see where the new journey takes us!

Mandi trip: reflections (Part 3)

Well there is a whole lot that can be captured about Mandi trip and maybe I will continue but here I pause and add some reflections before the new year steals attention. Just some random thoughts that pop in mind when you live alone, even for 4 days.

People/things you miss...
When you are away, you tend miss certain parts of daily life more than others. When you are alone, you tend to miss certain people more than others. It depicts the important parts of your daily life. Sometimes those can be surprises also. For example, during IIT days, in each conference I used to miss IIT's nescafe tea and the talks I shared with people during those times. This time, I had moved on. I longed my kid as any parent would. But there were surprises. For example, I missed not the extra funtimes but taking care of him. Bathing him, wiping his nose...simple activities...
Being alone I read and wrote a lot but I also longed to talk to people and reach out. One also wonders more about what is happening in that daily life. Technology certainly helps. Phone calls and photos play a big role.

When scenic beauty is enough
The view of the mountains. The stillness of the river, it gave great bliss to the heart. It quietened all frenzy and there were moments when there was a stillness in the air and I felt at one with nature again.  To have a great view on waking up, great lunchtimes views and some half hour slots otherwise was enough. People planned trips for sightseeing but for me, just this quietness was enough.

Tea and long talks
The best part of every day would definitely be coming to be the room, switching on the heater and making a cup of tea with a novel, diary or phone call. Of course chocolates also helped! Oh, what peace it was. Sometimes it was early enough to see daylight, mostly it was night. But what bliss it was to end the day with a cup of tea. Well tea has played an important role in so many aspects. Be it the pampered lazy luxurious cup of tea as a child, the tea and long talks with friends discussing every aspect of life, the multiple cups of tea during PhD and its struggles, the romantic cup of tea  or just the daily cups of tea coming home or even "teddy tea parties" with child. Teas are made special by the company.  Be it new friendships or old, light hearted discussions or discussions on the intricacies of life, nothing beats tea and long talks. Tea is the best beverage for a conversation. The varieties are numerous: sweet/ creamy/green/black/flavored, enough to cater to moods, health and types of people. They are hot enough for us to start a conversation and take it to some kind of conclusion where the cold beverages would fail. They soothe us unlike coffee which instills greater excitability. They soothe us and make us more lucid  and in a greater position to understand unlike any alcoholic beverage.  So next time, there's a conversation pending, start it with a cuppa. Tea and long talks can make a great New Year resolution ....to have tea and long talks regularly with all people who are important parts of your life or were or may become important or even those who seem to require it or  sometimes just when you require a conversation.

Mandi Trip: the journey and thereafter (Part 2)

The journey and thereafter

Then there it was. The much dreaded journey. Well the journey was made much easier by company...which was also a last minute decision and coincidence. But how it helped. There are few people with whom you speak as comfortably as you can be quite. Or even fall asleep, reassured.  The journey went smoothly. More smoothly than expected. When best friends meet, they always have enough to catch up on. The time goes faster and troubles become shorter.  We had a stopover at one place and went out just for the sake of it. It was freezing and we shiveringly ordered what turned out to be the worlds worst tea! There was still something to say about sitting there in Ambala, nursing that cup of tea as it warmed our hands.

When the journey started again, a group of college kids started playing Antakshri and music. Oh, were they a young lot! I felt suddenly that there was a huge difference between 20s and 30s. And then I saw a white haired old couple right ahead me. Well life is a full circle. As the songs soothed me and lulled me towards sleep, I realised I missed doing that. Going out on a trip like this with a big group of friends and just being carefree. But as my friend stated, "that won't have been us". Or more importantly, this now was enough for present. I was exploring boundaries, in good company,  in my own little way.

The much dreaded journey slipped away as we entered the unforgiving winters of Mandi at its peak early in the morning when even the Sun felt lazy coming out. Somehow we reached our exact destination...college guest house. It was ....literally in the middle of nowhere! There seemed noone about for a while and we had a new set of misgivings but then we entered our rooms and life was good again. Ahh, what a welcome site it was to find that huge heater. For the next half hour I did nothing but freeze in front of it until the body felt as if there was life in it yet. Slowly my eyes went to the desk in the room....how appropriate! Thrn the kettle. Ohh to have tea with the heater in the backdrop of that cold. Surely nothing could beat that! Well, that was until I saw the view. Majestic! Full window view of the hills and I knew I had made no mistake in arriving. Just this sight for four days would be worth the ride.

All this gave me the much needed respite for two hours by which time we were welcomed by enough to be secure that there was humanity even in the middle of nowhere. This idea would only be re-enforced further in the next few days. Well, the two hours passed by quickly and it was time for a full day ahead. Who would have thought I would be ready to work after a 12 hour journey! Well, welcome to the grown up world!

More to come in blogs ahead....the first day fall, research, reflections and much more....

Mandi Trip: A trip that almost wasn't to be (Part 1)

This trip almost didn't happen. Well there's a lot in it to tell so I will divide it into parts....

The decision

I had planned it long ago for research purpose. But then that time it didn't strike me how difficult it would be to reach to such a place or how the situation might vary with time. So my health fell, again and again and with it fell my confidence. I couldn't do a 12 hour bus trip. Heck, I even hated train journeys and would take flight whereever possible. I didn't do long journeys. Never had. Flights were different. And now with bad health...a weak stomach, recovering from a bad case of viral, well it seemed impossible. And there was the extreme cold which seemed equally terrifying right then. I even feared going alone. What if one of the terrible stories of incidents with girls came true? What if the bus fell due to bad weather. Fears engulfed  where there had been none. And I couldn't cancel. I had asked for this. I felt trapped and terrified.  Terrified to refuse. Trapped into going.

Then it changed. I remembered how we should always do one thing that terrifies us. So this would be it for the year.  And then I realised I didn't have to go.  Nobody would kill me if I didn't. I was even given the choice not to go. I could easily settle back into routine and have a relaxing weekend additionally. But I would always feel I wimped out. Of course there was still the need to go not just to overcome fears but also to learn and to keep my word. To do what I took as mine to be done. But it certainly helped to have it as a choice till the very end. Now I wasn't trapped into going, now it was an internal choice.

And I was off. Off to a new journey. The thought in mind ...there's a difference between foolhardiness and courage. Often we don't which we are doing this much later. I wondered which this was. Of course for many, it would be trivial but that varies from person to person and also in different situations.

More to follow....the journey....the trip, the reflections it brought and a lot more...