When I didn't Facebook my perfect weekend

I love social media as much as the next person does. I like browsing through articles and checking updates among friends. I comment and like appropriately. I even Facebook all major events with pics and words and also some fun events. It's fun. It's also a good way keeping record. It's nice to see "memories" through the new "on this day". So  a while ago when I had a great, picture-worthy weekend, I was about to upload pics. But I stopped.  I remembered how I would record the moments in my memory instead. I recorded how I felt that day and what made the day "fun" rather what we wore and how we looked.  And I remember it better than many other facebook weekends. 

It's fun to take pics and upload and share them but some memories precious without that process also. That sunset, the wonder and feel of the wind, the smell of sea will not be there in your photos or video but if you capture it in your mind, you will be taken back to that moment many more times.  The same is true for the taste of that lovely looking meal.  Some moments just need to be lived and that's enough to record them.

PG Express: It's worth the wait

Hi! The time has come. The time which I strived for so long. The time which every PhD student dreams of. The near end of this journey. When work is complete  from my side and it has actually been approved. All those years of work, passion, tears and frustration and a wait...a wait so long ...all have finally been validated. It's all worth it if it finally works out. The better it works the more it's worth it. It matters how satisfied the people associated with your work are.

The beginning of the end started last year. A hattric of acceptances and a great presentation. There was a research plan in the first year where I was told "You done a good job. Do us proud". From there we came to a full circle when the same person felt that I had done good and sufficient work. There are people of words and people of few words. The latter give out certain gems that one cherishes forever.

It's one thing to complete the work of your PhD and quite another to complete your dreams regarding your work. I was lucky enough to belong to the latter category. There came a time when I had crossed out all the  ideas which I had wanted to try at the beginning of my research. Of course some worked and some didn't but it gave a great satisfaction to be able to try all. There came another time when there were more goals: a certain category of publications, a certain number of "good" (or reasonably good)  publications, being able to present at a certain kind of conference. I was able to wind up my work with those goals achieved.

Next came another beautiful phase...the writing. Writing your thesis, completing the story which started years ago, it's a unique kind exhilaration. To create that first index and then subsequently add all the little analysis that you thought of. I remembering celebrating that first index. Then to create whole chapters. And finally to create your masterpiece...a dream that probably  starts the day you first look at any thesis: the Acknowledgement.  I spent a few days on my favourite masterpiece to make sure it was perfect and it included all the people who had been part of the journey in some way or the other. Dreaming up lines of acknowledgement had been one of my favourite procrastinations. Writing the thesis is a happy albeit stressful time. It's worth giving a little extra time because this is where you summarise all the work that you did throughout the years. For a while I loved writing my 1-2 pages a day and let myself absorb the feeling of writing my thesis . Later of course I paced up. Later it also became stressful, painful and tiring beyond exhaustion. The sleepless nights turned to sleepless months. Till there came a time when I was ready to let go.

After a period of lull, starts a agony of the wait and the questions and the second guessing. How will someone who has never seen you work find it?  When will  they respond? Will they ever respond? (this starts after a few months of wait). Then if you are lucky, comes a glorious day with the most beautiful words ever :approved! To see the confidence an external shares in your work, to see the pride amongst the people who have seen you work, made you work and sometimes even pushed you to work and know that finally all those years paid off, well there's no better feeling. It gives a validation to every thing you experienced throughout the years, through the jubilation and the tears, through the work and the wait, the ideas and the completion, the panic and the mini-celebrations.

It's all worth the wait.

Dear Zindagi

Time to try something new! In this post, I am writing a letter to life for the #DearZindagi activity at BlogAdda

Here's the Zindagi  video teaser

Dear Zindagi

Hi! It’s been a while hasn’t  it, since I last sat down and reflected with you? Well I have been busy with you as you well know…busy living the life. The older we grow, the more hectic you seem to get and ironically the less time we have for you. We rush to clear school, college, get married, have kids and then wish for them to hurry and grow up. It’s as if we are in a rush to get to some finishing line without realizing that it IS the finishing line. It reminds of Polyanna when she asks  “ where is the time to live?’

‘Oh, of course I’d be BREATHING all the time I was doing those things, Aunt Polly, but I wouldn’t be living. You breathe all the time you’re asleep, but you aren’t living. I mean living—doing the things you want to do….. Just breathing isn’t living!’

So what I want to thank you for is all the living I got to do while being alive. The small joys you offered: reading the Sunday times with my favourite cup of tea, playing with children, meaningful conversations, writing to my heart’s content and sometimes just a beautiful view.  It’s just that which I am going to focus on now instead of waiting for some ideal moment. Those are rare. Most are just small pearls of joy threaded together to form the necklace of life.

I wish I had known this as a teen when every small test, every small gathering appeared so scary.  The times when 80% marks seemed bad, when a slight ridicule seemed like the end of the world and when friends were limited to a particular circle and thus luck!  I wish I had known then that it was just one perspective which you were showing me. Later I would understand true friendship, value good companionship and gain the courage to rise above failures or just bid my time through a bad phase. Later I would understand how little other people’s opinion would actually matter if one is content from within. Every roadblock seemed mountainous until somewhere along the way I started enjoying your company, life. The basics pieces of life fell in place and I realised the rest are all just speedbreakers. 

Good company of close ones, peace at home, work that you enjoy and occasionally something new to look forward to…isn’t that all that we really need along this journey? Being lucky enough to have these basic ingredients for happiness, I say thank you zindagi. 

A new kind of love: work can be bliss

One reads many articles about "not having to work a day" if you love your work, if you find the "right" job. However, years of research can numb the senses. For a while I wondered how can one even know what the "right" job is if you spend some 25 years of your life being a student? The withdrawl symptoms may be too strong for you to actually like the idea of getting up for a 9-5 kind of job, much less actually sitting down that long for the actual task given to you.  Then I realised its like falling in love. It just happens and then there are signs that show it is "right". One sureshot sign: you know you love your job when working at your currently assigned task gives you a greater high than beating your highscore in your currently favourite mobile/pc game does!

Living in the moment

It's a good time this after-submission phase. It's "live in the moment" time for me. I get assigned tasks for one-two days. I like completing steps one at a time without going into the bigger picture and scary deadlines for a while. I enjoy the learning it involves.

I enjoy the entire process of cooking: right from picking ingredients, planning a dish and the actual process.  It may not always turn out great but its fun. And even more fun to cook in partnership :)

I enjoy the gym and yoga classes as per convenience and choice. I enjoy the freedom of time...free evenings, weekends....no burdens!

Time for family. Time for tv. Time for reading. Time for "me".

Out in the open

The modern day office environment is taking us away from all that is natural. The ac is generally kept so high that all people keep some form of winter-wear. Why then the "so cold acs"? There should be fans. There should a "natural corner" where people can sit in the open and work with fresh air, sunlight and wind. Maybe even flowers.  If not a completely open space then at least there should be big windows which should be kept open some of the times. People should be encouraged to have a little fresh air every few hours. Every office offers snacks. Here green teas, fresh fruits and juices should be kept as snacks at least in addition to the regular ones for those in pursuit of a good health.

If we are more alive then only can we more productive.

Bucket lists

There's a trend these days to make lists and cross out items. Well writing gets you into that habit anyway so I have doing that much before it became the "IN" thing. It's good as a reminder to do stuff you may forget and sometimes just for the fun of it. Lists a good for planning the big stuff  but they can't define life.  Life is much more than that.

Life is mostly made up of those so called  "not so good for you moments". Lazing on a weekend. Binge watching your favourite serial episodes with family and then ordering Chinese. Then there are those so called trivial moments: tea with friends, taking your kid out to play, cooking a simple meal that tastes like home, fresh clothes on a monday morning or just having someone to hold hands. Sometimes it's random moments: a great novel, a beautiful view while walking, when your kid does something new. These moments vary for everyone. They can't be bucket-listed.

Live: Things to do after submitting thesis

NOW is the time to live. Now is the time to:

Play the casio again....try
Blog
Complete that book
Cook
Learn to bake
Watch lots of movies
Visit lots of places
Lots of beaches
Simple days of family time
Simple days of family TV
Play with child. Read together.
Dance
Do Yoga again
Start leading a more organised life
Learn the intricacies of running a home
Paint my nails!
Nurture self: self manicures, pedicures, head massages

Transition and the wait

I know PG Express requires another post and that will come eventually but for now there is this one about the transition into the next phase.

Ever since I have started the new phase, there is this waiting that never ends. Waiting for lunch time. Waiting for end of day. Waiting for weekends. PhD though long but it never had such waiting times. There was a constant life with control. You worked when you wanted to and additionally when you had to. Recreation happened during self-created "breaks". Now you work for fixed hours, fixed pay. And at least initially its just about getting through those hours. Surviving another day of partial boredom. Sometimes you study, sometimes you work, sometimes you socialise a little  and sometimes you just wait and survive the cold AC. Maybe they pay you for surviving that cold. I know that's a cynical approach but that is the initial work phase. The learning phase. Sometimes there are flashes of self-satisfaction of a work well done. Some flashes of finally getting that thing working. But there is a general aimlessness.  There is no higher purpose as yet except completing each day.

There is a smile on my face on leaving here that used to be there on arriving there ( during PhD). I think that explains the difference of the two lives in nutshell. But it's more complex. There is that satisfaction of completing a work-day. But also the joy of life at your own little home ...away from the world.  Doing as you please. Your own time with no guilt for watching TV when you could have worked. Work already got over for the day. Weekends are completely your own. Again no guilt about "not working". 

So that smile signifies freedom. Freedom which wasn't there earlier at any point of time. Yet it comes at a price of aimlessness at least so far. That comes due to transition. This is a period of rest for the mind. With time  new goals will be created and with a new vigor I will be driven in their direction. But for now I revel in each day. For now I pause and live in the moment...while I wait.

The diverse and fun places in Delhi

Hi!

Recently we shifted from Delhi to Mumbai for a few years. Soon afterwards I made a pact with myself to "visit at least 50 prominent places in Mumbai" while here. That and the homesickness for Delhi made me interested in forming the list such places that I visited in Delhi at some or other point of my life. So in no particular order, here's the list:

1. Qutub Minar
2. Humanyun's tomb
3. Lodhi Garden
4. Nehru Stadium
5. Nehru Planetarium
6. Appu Ghar
7. Zoo
8. Old Fort
9. Mughal Gardens (also Rashtrapati Bhavan)
10. Lotus Temple
11. Hanuman Mandir
12. India Gate
13. Hauz Khas Village...recently discovered this world of its own
14. Lodhi Road Market
15. CP
16. Jantar Mantar
17. Sarojini Nagar
18. Lajpat Nagar
19. South Ex. Market
20. GK market Mblock
21. Green Park market
22. Rose Garden...a walk from opposite IIT to Green Park is the best way to explore this
23. Karol Bagh
24. Chandni Chowk market....from wedding shopping of all sorts to traditional Indian food...Paranthe wali gali
25. Chawri Bazar
26. Darya Ganz...a great book flea market
27. Select City walk mall saket
28. DLF Pomegranade Mall vasant kunj
29. PVR Priya
30. PVR Saket
31. D malk rohini
32. Rajori Malls
33. Moments Mall karol bagh...worth going for the experience, the food and 5D movie!
34. District Centre Janakpuri....have special memories of this place from B.Tech days but its a nice place for an entire outing also...movie, shopping...esp trinklets, food ....all sorts...
35. Metrowalk ...a nice evening can be spent here by waterside
36. Adventure Island
37. Fun n Food village
38. Japanese Park...great rides for kids also!
39. Kashmere Gate
40. Netaji Subhash Place (NSP)
41. Dwarka Raddisson blu mall
42. Maurya
43. Taj
44. Ashoka
45. Crowne Plaza
46. Leela Palace
47. Radisson Blu
48. Jor Bagh Market
49. Dilli Haat near INA...one of its kind. The other branches don't fo justice to it.
50. Malcha Marg
51. Chanakya Puri and the grand old Chanakya Cinema before the days of multiplexes...
52. Drive down Shantipath
53. IIT Delhi...the next few are for technical buffs but IIT is special. It offers a serenity like none other. Natural beauty in all seasons. Its a great place to have a cuppa and reflect.
54. Kamla Nagar Market near North Campus
55. Trade Fair
56. Book Fair
57. Shanti Niketan near South Campus
58. JNU
59. DIT
60. IBM IRL
61. NSIT
62. DCE
63. IP University...just for technical completeness but the new dwarka campus is nicely made.
64. PM house...had gone for Narayana Muthy's book launch!
65. G3S market rohini....well some places are  just familiar

66. India Habitat Centre.....Art, great food, gaming, rides for children and lots of walking area. And many shows also. 

Here are some places still in the "to be visited" list:

1. Raj Ghat 
2. Akshardham
3. Bangla Saheb
4. Kingdom of dreams ( even if in NCR)
5. Hyatt Regency
6. Khan Market...been too long...before development

7.Model Town

8. Asola
9.Red fort

10. Safdarjungs Fort

11. Tughlaqabad Fort

12. Garden of five senses

13. Dolls Museum

14. Agrasen ki baoli

15. Rail Museum

16. Damadam Lake

17. Birla Mandir (again probably but been too long for a proper memory recollect)

18.Republic Day Parade live

Lucky

I was harried and bleary eyed right in the morning. I hadn't  got much sleep for almost the entire month. I had needed a break since the last 4 months but could not have it for yet another month. There was so much work and yet it didn't seem to get finished to even give me the satisfaction of a work well done. And the social calendar being full  with get-togethers and rituals and the "what nots"  right before my deadline didn't help much either. As I rushed in the department, I tried to smile but couldn't with my heart yelling "somebody help me!",  I saw a person a wheelchair, smiling proudly on operating it himself. Suddenly I realized how lucky I really am. To not need to help for little things of life. To not only have work but also the ability to work. To have loving and supportive family and friends. To have a busy, full life.

Lessons learnt during pregnancy that are for life

1. Eat well. Eat nutritionally.
2. Give in to your cravings some of the times...no matter how odd they are.
3. Exercise is important ....for everyone ...decide what to do based on your stamina.
4. Size doesn't matter. Looking good is more about how you are feeling inside.
5. You don't need to be pregnant to want to make yourself feel good.
6. Pray. Meditate. Whatever gives you peace of mind.
7. Read.
8. Music helps.
9. It feels good when people help. Be one of those helpful ones.
10.Naps are ok.
11. Your health matters. You matter. Take an odd day off when you need it.
12. Be prepared in advance.
13. Expect the unexpected.
14. Smile.
15. Always have something to look forward to.
16. Watch your step. Remember #11.
17. Everyone has a right to be moody sometimes.
18. Drink your milk. An investment for later.
19. Same with the fruits n veggies.
20. This too shall pass. Even labour does.

Poetry

Poetry is meant to be felt, she thought, not to be analysed.
To be read from the heart, not broken down into words.
To be expressed, not explained...
To hide as much as it is to reveal
To be touched gently
Like doves flying by...

Choices

I am back as promised ...to write more .....
Here's a random thought...isn't irritating when people say "Oh, I could have done that".  It could be any small or big thing. The answer should be "Well, too bad you didn't loser. So keep quiet."

There's a conversation between Harry and Dumbledore in "The chamber of secrets" in which Harry wonders if he should have been in Slytherin after all.
"Then why aren't you in it ?"  asks Dumbledore
"Because I asked the sorting hat not to put me there"
"Exactly! You chose it. It is our choices which make our destinies rather than our abilities. " replied Dumbledore.

We all choose where to invest our time, energy and patience. Having the ability isn't enough. It's like this in PhD also. Probably many people may the ability to do research work but they may not have the patience, persistance and passion that requires you to continue solving the same problem for years. And even within PhDs, every thesis and its story is unique. Yes, each degree has a story. A story of sacrifices, passion, smiles, tears and turmoil. Success and failure and then the in between phases.  At the end it may feel "easy" like something that should have dawned us a lot earlier but it's not just about the results, it's about the process and the story associated with it. Just like life. It's all about journey.

Things to do before 30 and the journey so far

I just realized how gradually blogging has been fading from my  life. Only one post in the last year. So many things left unsaid. So many posts incomplete. So many thoughts faded out without getting converted to words. And so many words in diaries instead of blogs.Well to make sure that this year is no worse if not better, I mean to complete this post.

Recently I have been looking at lists of things to do before turning 30. A little late I realize. I am turning 30 in 4 days. So that doesn't leave a great deal of options to do something very wild and/or elaborate. Daily life doesn't permit a great deal of spare time. But as I started making lists now and a couple of months earlier, I realized I had already done a lot of I wanted to albeit without lists. So here's a list of what I did do (and probably would have added in my list in my 20s) ...........

1. Find the love of my life...suddenly the joy of life increases manifolds...you dream more , want more and live more fully ...
2. Get married....and to have that for the rest of the life...life with your best friend.......(at least when you are not bickering ..lol)
3. Have a kid of my own....a child completes your life in a way that none can. It's whole new life. And the entire process ...pregnancy and giving birth to your child....feeding him...holding him...well it's a whole new list which keeps growing ...
4. Experience pregnancy to the fullest...I not only had food cravings but also color cravings!
5. Experience childbirth...was fortunate enough
6. Learn how a kid grows up
7. Learn how a kid learns to communicate...one of the biggest curiosities for me
8. Read lots in all categories.....collect them all....have an over-brimming collection
9. Go into research...ok so I don't have a job yet but I am pursuing the work of my dreams in PhD
10. Get into some top university...specifically IIT...more specifically IIT Delhi...done :)
11. Get placed in good companies...ok so I didn't join but I did get placed.
12. Own a car
13. Travel alone...I did at least in India...more than 5 times
14. Travel with a friend...Hubli...
15. Travel with your sweetheart...
16. Travel with your little family (kid+sweetheart)
17. Airtravel...I love airports and planes...I even enjoyed waiting at the airport the one time my flight severely delayed
18. Stay with a friend....ok so it was only a couple of days each time but it still counts
19. Hang out in a big group till the death of night..yeah..beach@Chennai...
20. Get some kind of award...did get a few
21. Spoke on the radio
22. Lucky draws...have been lucky that way :P
23. Write a book...(*well near completion actually)
24. Loads and loads of college fun...friends, groups and dating:)
25. Finding a good, sincere set of friends to share, care, laugh and cry
26. Shopping with friends
27. Planning your own wedding 
28. Being an important person in your best friends wedding :)
29. Visit the beach again
30. Swim again...or at least try
31. Run a marathon
32. Do some literature course...did one online in Coursera...was enriching, fun and satisfying...I actually worked on it!
33. Thanking the important people of your life...do try...started with that phone call to an old fav teacher....
34. Wear a white dress and veil :)
35. Wear other dresses....all kinds
36. Give a lecture in a seminar
37. Try some adventure sports...snorkelling, it became cliff diving when I fell off a cliff!
38. Have THE PERFECT honeymoon
39. A relaxing babymoon
40. Eat lots of exotic stuff
41. Learn to cook a  bit
42. Lead somewhere...college magazine as well as Newsletter at IIT
43. Be the " go-to" person for help, for discussions for your friends
44. Go to the stadium to watch a cricket match and shout your hearts out...I also got my face painted ;)
45. Lots of known dates after some kind of engagement 
46. Lots of secrets ones before it ...there were some VERY close calls!
47. Be creative...hmmm...gifts to loved ones, nailart, painting my mobile case, knitting baby stuff  and lots and lots more
48. Internet chats....
49. Different looks, haircuts...
50. Have some one who will want to read you diary and whom you will be willing to show the same
51. Take a road trip with loved one
52. Visit the Taj Mahal
53. Visit some foreign country with loved one
54. Visit the zoo with your child
55. Give some of your loved toys to your child...my baby on my childhood truck...
56. Skate again....did so once and was ok at it...
57. Play carrom again...some wishes are that small...
58. Have someone to play scrabble with
59. Midnight birthday celebrations
60. Throw a surprise party
61. Read to your child
62. Sings rhymes with your child
63. Watch lots of animation movies
64. Watch the popular TV sitcoms...Friends, House, Masterchef, HIMYM, Boy Meets World...a few that I loved...
65. Watch a few popular Indian ones...Tarak Mehta ka Olta Chasma...a great one ...so different form usual Indian serials though even some of those were pretty good...like Jassi, BALH...
66. Lose weight...did so many times ! However I did start some healthy habits finally.
67. The perfect Mehendi party...
68. Wear a Sari on your own
69. Experience the perfect marriage moment...
70. Sweetheart on knees to propose
71. Stay actively part of parents life after marriage also
72. See your parents dote their grandchild as the baby grows
73. Bike riding....it's fun from the back seat also :)
74. Dance with the love of your life
75. Dance with your child....(also the love of your life...)
76. Create sandcastles again....did it all...sand castles, sand mermaid, doodle of names with hearts, collecting shells...

Travel Diary would include (20 year onwards)

India : Mussourie, Bangalore, Hubli, Mumbai, Chennai, Jodhpur, Jaipur, Lucknow, Alwar,kosi

Thailand: Phi phi Islands, Krabi, Phukhet

From Childhood:

Canada

South Africa: Durban, Johannesburg,  Cape Town

Mauritius 

Here are some which I would probably add for later on...

• PhD degree
• Job
• Visit Italy
• Disneyland
• Listen to/read news
• Complete that book
• Publish it
• Read some religious books
• More swimming
• More beaches
• Make enough space for your entire novel collection
• Exotic teas...try
• Keep trying different looks...its fun
• English tea...proper...at England..? At other places. 
• Keep increasing your travel diary....create one....
• Also add Goa, Andaman, Pondcherry, Northeast for India
• Keep dreaming................

It's been a while

Ok so it's probably been more than a while. An entire year without blogging and then some more. So much has changed since I last wrote, the night before my wedding. Marriage. A child. A whole new world. The outer world, the situations have changed beyond recognition but the essence is still the same and I am glad for that. One gets less time but it doesn't change who we are and it doesn't (shouldn't) change what we need to do, not just for a living but also for a life. There can be add-ons and there can be reductions but some things constitute the basics for a "happy me". Writing is one of them.  To know what they are for you,  just think of what keeps coming back to you. Things that make you feel alive instantaneously. What do you desire to do when you think ahead of the that "someday" when you will be free. Those somedays never come if we wait for them. We have to call them. Oneof those "somedays" has to be today. Make it that guilt-freely. Even if it is only a few minutes. Even it is only for a short blog.

The blushing bride

Shimmering in the pink of her dress and blush

she walked along

Her eyes moist, her lips quivering

she walked along

“It’s a big step in life, marriage is” , she thought

as she walked along

As the distance reduced

slowly she walked along

Her heart heavy, her hands unclasped her family

as she walked along

Closing the doors of childhood

she walked along

Her eyes hopeful with love in the new home

she walked along

“This is it”, she thought  as she reached the One

in his eyes she saw home as she walked along

As finally towards her true love , she walked along

Marriage

(Warning: This is strictly from an Indian girl's perspective!)

Marriage. One word which changes your entire life. Suddenly all sorts of cliches which you have heard a millions of times and which never fail to make you cringe actual seem true. Like it being a new life entirely, especially for a girl.
It's not just another chapter, it's part II of the book of life.

It's the first biggest change most people undergo. And only in some cases do you find the prefect match and actually know that beforehand. Yes, that simplifies things a great deal.  Well! marriage and simplifications don't really go hand in hand! I may be the first one to say this but I feel that may actually be good for everyone concerned. And I have gross example to clarify  the same. A doctor gives you an anesthesia before operating to numb your sensations during an operation. You wake up the next morning realizing the change but not feeling all of it. In the same way, these preparations will numb all sense of feeling while you are really into it. And before you know it, the change will have occurred. And then, because it had happened, it  just may feel a little less huge. Because it's also true that sooner or later we all get used to any kind of change.

Don't get me wrong, I am in favor of marriage despite the way it unravels your world for a while. To me it seems the next logical step for most of us (I agree there might be exceptions). And even that is only true when we are actually ready. Yes, there does come a time when you are ready for your entire world to change.
Why? Because it's the next step. It may happen because you suddenly want some special to hold a bigger place in your life. When you actually want to spend a lifetime with them, live with them, instead of just dating. (or looking for them ). Or it may happen when you realize you have already reached all your childhood dreams which were achievable and now are ready for new dreams. A new beginning.  You become a "we" from a "me". It changes your thinking in all multitudes. You get ready for a whole different set of dreams and experiences. It's certainly the biggest kind of adventure.

And here come the preparations which gear you up for it. The shopping...new stuff to make fresh start. All kinds of ceremonies  from prayers to warding off evil spirits. The best way is to just go with the flow, let it all happen. The people who do it, do it because you actually to them and they want this change to  work out well for you.  You may not follow or like everything they say but listen all the same. It kind of makes one feel special:) Every one from that neighborhood aunty you avoided to far off relatives to virtual strangers, will have something to say, some advise to give.People will call you just to ask how the preparations are going and if they can help. And they actually will help if you ask for it. Partly because for many of them, it will be chance to relive their special moments and for others, a glimpse at what future holds for them. It's something which unites people all over. It's gonna be the only time when you will be made to feel that special by everyone.  You will adorned to the hilt. You will be discussing makeup, hair styles, jewellery and of course dresses for months to follow. Accept it. A cracking of a nail will actually mean something to you even if you were supposedly a studious geek. Add a new wardrobe to it and well you know what will occupy most of your time. You will remember cards, menus and your trousseau like they are your thesis. And it's required because more people will query you about that than will ever read any of your papers. Honeymoon destination could be the open elective which you choose. At first you may want something very unique with all these but what I realized was there's something very special about being absolutely traditional. And it's possible to do that and still retain your style. Like choosing some kind of red in your wedding dress. Like buying some of those "heavy" saris and suits. Wearing lots of red.Wearing a chuda for an adequate amount of time. Even taking a few days off work. A few days before the wedding will seem like board exams all over again as people guard you against all kinds of mishaps...and soon you will also start doing that. You will have your manicured fingers and toes crossed at all times! You may even let some guy ward off evil spirits with a feather! Participating in all kinds of Pujas and ceremonies with a gusto! Like a mehendi with all females surrounding you and having all those weird bridal songs. You will actually like them this one. Watch out, you may even blush!

What I mean to say is that if taken in the right spirit, this time can actually be the best way to bid a goodbye to single life. Wedding preparations can be fun. Yes, they will get stressful. Very. But the best advise is (see now I am giving advise :P): "Over-prepare and then go with the flow". Things will go wrong. But if you have enjoyed the preparations, you won't mind that much.

Remember, no matter what little preparation goes haywire, you will get married. And that thought will scare you, no matter how dreamlike the new life seems. (A bit like PhD!)

But like a friend said, if you take one step at a time, you will be enjoying the process till that day and then everything will be new and special. So by the time you get to routine life, a different kind, you may be half settled.


Ok, back  to preparations! Remember to smile even if you have butterflies in your stomach!

PG Express back again!

 PhD is like an infinite candyland, there is so much to try that it gets you excited but as you start one, you get tempted by another.

It's been over 2.5 years now into PhD. I have moved on from the lonely phase.  Have seen the ups and downs of it a few times. I have gone from the one-track to this project done to there's more to life then just this. It happens to all of us at times. We expand our lives. As did I. But with it, the clutter in your mind increases. There seems so much to think about, and thus write about, that at times you just feel like shutting out for a while. Life is so very big (no I don't mean long, I mean big) that little blossoming thoughts get lost in it while big rude loud ones dominate. But all we need is those little ones. Simple ones. Not the day to day complexities which will keep changing. But the reasons behind those complexities. The reasons behind joining PhD for example. Yes, there comes a time in every grad students' life when you wonder why you ever did this to yourself. For me those reasons had always been very clear: there was nothing I wanted to do as much as this. And that still holds. But even this simple thought can get lost as life expands. As can other  important ones about not just PhD but also life. And one day, you know you just have to go looking for  them all.

It reminds me of this childhood prayer, though there's nothing "gloomy" about life


"When the world all around you looks gloomy
And all your dreams go astray
There's a still small voice  within you
To show you the sunlit way

Lend an ear to the words it's saying 
You'll find you never go wrong
For the still small voice within you 
Will show you the way to be strong

Whether you're alone or in a crowd 
It will guide you wherever you go
It can be heard above thunder
Tho' it's silent as new falling snow

It's a gift handed down by the angels
A treasure of love you can share
And the still small voice within you 
Will always, will always be there"

Well I am back now. 

Another change

At times thoughts become too much of a jumble to express in words but express we must. So here's where you will find me if at any point of  time I seem "away" Capturing Life.

Of course this blog is too dear to leave but life changes and with it so must we. Blogging is easy that way. It is possible to come back anytime you want. So I leave now with the hope of coming back later.

Well, if the workload gets heavy, it may happen sooner rather than later!